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The more I insult Grandpa Imp, the more motivated he becomes. The more motivated Grandpa Imp is, the better his promos are. Do you see now why I am the Captain of the Task Force Dynasty? Be honest with me, Imp. You can’t stand me. I trigger you. You want me dead. It’s not just promo talk...

Last week was mind blowing. I had a chance to hang out with two of the supposedly most successful Elitists of all time and get a glimpse of just how shallow, empty and miserable their existence is. Mr. DEDEDE and Impact are legitimately the dumbest grandpas on the planet and their lifestyle is...

If this is our Team Dynasty then Lord have mercy on our brand because come Territorial Invasion you will get eaten alive by the other teams, no doubt about this. When I say that the Realm would have outperformed everyone at Territorial Invasion, I meant it and this week is the living proof of...

Once upon a time, in a land far away called Dynasty, three Princesses decided to change the rules of the game and turn the land into a much better world for everyone. Their Realm was all about fairness and as such, each Princess had the same exact power over the common Realm. There was no...

BASIC INFORMATION Team Name: The Realm Team Members: Sierra Bradford, Sarah Price, Harper Lee Picture Base of Each Member: Tegan Nox, Liv Morgan, Candice LeRae Combined Weight: 368 lbs. TEAM INFORMATION Team Disposition/Alignment: Pure Babyface | Face | Anti-Hero | Tweener | Cowardly Heel...

Let me get his straight. You claim only intellectuals belong in the Main Event scene of Dynasty and in that same exact promo you copy paste the same exact narrative I’ve used against you? Talk about being an intellectual. You couldn’t even come up with your own material. Sad! Luck is quite an...

Well, Operation Doomsday is in the history books and now I got away with another title defense which makes two in total. I have nothing but the utmost respect towards my opponent Harper Lee, as she really pushed me to my limits but it just wasn’t enough I guess. Ultimately I’ve found the...

You not being ready has been discussed for quite some time, Harper. It’s been the leitmotif in the build up to this match pretty much and even though I’ve never explicitly used those words against you, anyone who paid attention to the shows can tell that the whole story behind this match is me...

I am walking into Operation Doomsday as the greatest Elitist of all times. It’s true. Out of all the Goats, I am THE Goat. I am the greatest female wrestler in the history of EAW. I am the face of Dynasty. I am like Kassidy Heart, except I am hotter. I am like Serena Bennett except I am not...

I am really sorry you don’t like my memes, Imp. I’ve tried my best, but I understand, women aren’t funny. They try, but ultimately they are never funny. Oh well. Memes. Yes, memes. I know my demographic and my demographic is rather young compared to yours. I talk about Fairy Tales and...

Man (🐴) what a year 2020 has been so far. A lot of unpredictable things have happened, we had an outbreak that shocked the whole world and now we have Impact posting more than one promo a week and I’m not sure what’s crazier of the two. This is like a Mayan apocalyptic scenario nobody could have...

How am I biting your style, Impact? If I was, I’d be scratching my non existing testicles all season just like you do. That’s Impact in a nutshell. That’s not the case at all though when it comes to my content, isn’t it? Whether you like it or not, I am one of the most consistent on the...

What happened to BVU News, Chris? Didn’t you end your previous video claiming that it was just the first of many more episodes to come? What happened to your breativity, Bhris? Are your five brain cells tired already? Did your hamster die of a heart attack while he was running the wheel inside...

Can’t say I’m happy about how the things went down last week, but hopefully Andre Walker is going to use that as a lesson and will be more humble going forward. At the end of the day, I did what I had to do and put him down off a distraction, even though it’s not something I am one hundred...

See how hard it is for you to come up with a promo when your opponent has a better win/loss ratio than you? I told you and you’ve proved me right. All of a sudden, the cat got your tongue and the bravado Andre Walker used to display against every single other Elitist who dared step in his way...

Well then. The Grand Athletes are still kinda salty about what happened last week and I wonder why. They had what they asked for. Limmy Monaghan wanted intensity, he wanted to show the world that they were reborn as a tag team and I gave them exactly what they wanted. I gave them the very best...

Guys, I think I just broke Mark Macias… I hope he is still on warranty and we can still return him to whatever dumpster fire of a company he crawled out of. Or a movie set? I don’t remember. If Limmy has been rambling the whole week, Mark’s promotional video is the EAW equivalent of jumping on...

You know you’ve won an EAW argument when your opponent goes “It’s not like that, you don’t get it” without adding anything else to the discussion. That’s the undisputed proof that you’ve hit the mark and they don’t know what to say in that regard, because why act so dismissive when you have...

You know, I’m really excited about the Draft. We have me, Serena, Andrea and Harper on the same brand. The rest of Dynasty is pretty much the Wrestling equivalent of the Arkham Asylum except with even worse sociopaths. Some might look at it like a bad thing but it actually isn’t. It’s a good...

It’s funny how every EAW promo battle roughly follows the same pattern: Promo #1: Someone randomly ethers someone else Promo #2: That someone ethers them back Promo #3: The opponent plays the “you are uninformed” card Promo #4: The other guy uses the “You didn’t pay attention to my promo, I’ve...