MATCH PROMO “Vontell Jordan, this is how we do it” - Voltage Promo #1

Visual Prophet

🎶 Say my name, say my name
When no one is around you, say Vizzy I love you or else suffer great pain
Say my name, say my name

Y’all acting kinda shady, disrespecting Vizzy Baby, lookin like some lames 🎶

La, la, la, la, La
Ha, ha, ha, ha,
Har, har, har,
He, he,

*Clears throat*


You know what I hate? Besides Rex’s “See you soon” catchphrase? I hate when you idiots can’t end a video properly and continue to do the “Oh, the camera is still rolling?” gimmick. I hope that dies soon but you robotic fucks and your unimaginative lil’ brains more than likely will never stop with the cliches. I guess it’s fair since you guys can’t stop doing the same shit over and over and I can’t stop treating you square headed stupid fucks like, well...square headed stupid fucks! “OH, YOU LIKE BASKETBALL SO IMA PLAY BASKETBALL TOO!” It’s the blind chasing the blind while the only man with true VISION sits back and watches his opponents tire themselves out. As Nina passes me my grapes and my pet tiger purrs, I sigh a sassy sigh at this charade we have been subjected to on the greatest brand in sports entertainment, Voltage. Is this how you guys get down on Showdown? Dynasty? Why don’t you two meet up at the local rec center and just have a one on one game to 11 since you idiots are focused on your jumpshot rather than your god damn in ring strategies. Haven’t you two heard how fun it is to stay at the YMCA? I hope you both tear your Achilles and disappear for a year like Kevin Durant. You insignificance is so apparent it’s almost impressive how much neither one of you matter in the grand scheme of things. I have been a main eventing icon on Empire and tho it may be dying soon, I highly doubt either of these goofs could last ten minutes in that ring. If I wasn’t involved in this, would this match even main event Fight Grid?

With you two clown face, masquerading as stars, Johnny come lately, testicle tasters as the draws? Nah. All this lip and neither has spoken or uttered a single thing that makes me believe I won’t roll over them both collectively like a Zamboni does a hockey rink. Like I won’t breeze past them like Usain Bolt racing Anglo Saxons. For a minute now, it’d seem as if I was relaxing. The most boisterous, the biggest blow hard, the bombastic behemoth that is THEE...Visual Prophet has been skirting around with the delicate deity that dictates Voltage’s success In Veena Adams and been essentially coasting. It seems I’ve been rolling and tumbling with my assistant Nina, snagging incredible business deals with my agent Myra Rosenthaus, and raising a beautiful Siberian Tiger gifted by a North Korean dictator named KIMMY while all my CITV competition hyped their nonexistent chances weekly! Yet, the man that was never anybody’s favorite is the clear cut favorite to win the Cash in the Vault ladder match at Pain for Pride, huh?


I mean, that’s what it seems is going on but, all should know better than to sleep on the sovereign. You all should be keen by now to watch closely, to expect the unexpected, and to say the name of the face of that dead ass brand Empire, say the name of the man who took Voltage over in 7 god damn months, say the name of the guy who is nearly half way towards fixing EAW and will be hitting another checkpoint towards this lofty ascension at Pain for Pride when he takes the Cash in the Vault match and makes it more beautiful than it ever has been. From a stunning entrance to a stunning performance, this perfect pugilist will end this season as the man who will be your next World Champion with not only the co-gm by his side, not only the best sports agent in this business, not only with the most loyal assistant any one could ever have and the most beautiful tiger eyes have ever seen...but with the knowledge and athleticism that only could belong to the the best wrestler to enter EAW in a decade. Moi...

Meanwhile, I get my chance to slap silly to sissy students who strolled in to this company with cliche tattoos, ringworms in their hair, and even more boring personalities then Darling Daryl Kinkade. I don’t even take naps but I couldn’t help but drift off in to a lush dream as I fell asleep listening to Vicky Venom and The Koala Kisser muse about their insignificant feelings and their falsehoods. News flash you two slags:

I’m the name that makes this match meaningful. Periodt.

I’m the one dragging you two dirtbag, destitute, dick devouring dweebs in to prominence this week. You two march in over half way through this season and expect me to give an iota of a fuck about you and I’m sorry to burst your bubble but, nah...I find satisfaction bursting your bubbles and saying that neither one of you will be a threat to me at Sunday Night Voltage. Venom has the disposition of a lesbian public bus driver and Adam Graves looks like he farts in his own hand and smells them as his main hobby and I should be weary of either one of these boys? Ugh...BULLSHIT!

Seriously, this might be more insulting then when they booked me against that Kyoto cat eating cunt a month ago just for me to end his career before it even started here in EAW. Honestly, maybe I can weed out the competition early with this bout. I could take two pawns off the board and create an even more favorable position for myself at Pain for Pride in that Cash in the Vault ladder match. Maybe I can snap Venom’s ankle and take the protruding bone and jam it right between Graves’ eyes. Maybe I can linger around the entirety of the match as these two Neanderthals turn each other to mince meat, pick my spot, snatch victory at the last second, and leave both these Axe Body Spray oozing mental midgets curled up like my pubic hair in the drain after a nice shower. Curled up like those poor Colombian underage boys in the GAWD’S bed. Have Vicky and Addy curling like Raven Roberts toes whenever she gets a chance to TOUCH Thy Sovereign.

RANDOM: Hey Ravie! I’m sorry I didn’t rise to the occasion as I usually do at our singles match a few weeks ago. Deepest regrets I didn’t concuss and cave in that bird beak one good time like I should have done, but you did your thang, girl! You got me that night, kudos. You won a match with no stakes on a show that is shutting down in front of an ungrateful crowd who just out of the blew suddenly feel bad about Empire’s demise. Ratings peaked when I was the face of that show and what do you know, Empire closes down soon as I am taken away for longer then three weeks. Too bad, so sad! My performance wasn’t on par with what all of you are used to and for that I ask for forgiveness. Short lived forgiveness that will morph in to praise and trembling respect after I beat Raven Roberts on the big stage like I did at King of Elite. Like I did your boo Rex at Fighting Spirit. Unrelenting rage all over each and every man and woman in my path towards immortality. Blood shed and bodies droppin’ as I climb that ladder and snatch away my key to fixing Elite Answers Wrestling and making it the most beautiful promotion that ever existed. No one spared as elbows rain down on all of you like bombs over Baghdad.

Venom, what’s with the bravado? “Silent”? Me? Never! I mean, I’ve been a wee bit quieter than usual, sure. But, me? Silent? To loosely quote Y2Impact, I am quite possibly the most long winded, rambling rambler in this business. Ergo, I talk the talk better than everyone in this business. Ergo, you think I’ve been silent for no reason? Nah, I’ve been bidding my time, sharpening my tools, looking for my openings. This week, you are going to get a huge load of Vizzent Van Gogh as I paint a masterpiece with you and Adam’s collective blood spills all over that Voltage canvas I own. Yes, I own that canvas. Veena, Vizzy, Nina run this show and you two turd tonguing tourists are in for a showcase from me this Sunday!

The nerve of Kathy Kush to still label me a fucking rookie after all I’ve done. After all I’ve accomplished. Hogwash! Malarkey! Cast away that label like I cast away Asstraea Jordan at the Grand Rampage this year! I am all but a fucking rookie. These two, Vicodin Venom and Adderall Graves are fucking rookies. All I know is neither one could have done what I’ve done. All I know is both of them Dragon Ball Z fusion dancing to combine their powers and they couldn’t measure up to me at 50%. If I die, all I know is, I’m already a fucking legend in this company and I still 5 months before my first year wraps up. No rookie comes in this company and main events as many live shows as I have. No rookie wins the New Breed title and raises the prestige like I did. Sosa...he is...trying, I guess. But my shadow still looms. No rookie has the sheer confidence to strut to that ring with the fierceness that I bring when the lights are bright and the tickets are sold out. No rookie can confidently tell you he will change this business and fix this company and still hold this promise months later, all awhile facing 10 different current or former world champions with wins over several of them like me. I remember Jamie O’Hara claimed this business is for addicts back when he undoubtedly was running EAW with those Greek sculpted abdomen muscles of his that glisten like the surface of an infinity pool as the sun beams down on to each part of his-

*fans self before snapping out of his trance*

Woah, got a little carried away with the imagery there. You get the point tho, yeah? I’m addicted to this shit and you two are playing roles that are too big for you to even audition for. Imagine Dane Cook as Vito Corleone in The Godfather. Maybe even Kyrie Irving trying to lead a team to a championship. Point is you two are in roles you aren’t fit for and this is my chance to give you just a glimpse at the disparity in talent between Venom and Graves and THY SOVEREIGN!

Oh, was that a lot of gibberish for your pea sized brain, Gravy? Let me dumb it down for you, honey. Basically, I’m one of a kind. They compare me to a few, namely “GAWD” but that is beyond insulting at this point. I’ve carved out my own spot in the history books whilst he gets his T.D. Jakes on and peddles pseudo motivational jargon to a bunch of people who think they can change their lives every New Year’s Eve by saving 50 dollars a week every pay check and meal prepping for 3 weeks before quitting because “they don’t have time”. Nah, I’m disciplined and unwavering. Venom and Graves are both disappointing when you compare them to me. I’ve become the most hated while simultaneously being one of the most respected in under a year. When you talk to my peers, they may hate my guts for my friendship for Veena Adams. They may say I’m flashy and flamboyant. They may think I’m gay or just playing gay as a troll or whatever it is they think. But, between those ropes. Bell to bell. From microphones to the ring mats, I’m just different. I’m just better than the lot of you guys and gals.

Vic Venom is just Damon Diesel with kickpads. I give about as much of a fuck about his daddy as he would mine so save that “Son of the legendary Scott Venom” shit for one of these smart mark dweebs that wear PLDR shirts and think cause you can do a spin kick that you could compete with a caliber of athlete as Viz. I’ll tell you what I told Korey Gaines when he tried to wax poetic about training with his idol Red Amazing and wanting to impress the elder that helped him get this far: fuck those old bastards, it’s my time now. I’m more of a legend then Scott Venom ever was and if Scott Venom was a real legend he’d be facing me and shutting my mouth up himself and not raising this little school shooter substitute, Marilyn Manson stunt double to work his whole life chasing his daddy’s legacy just to run in to a man who has no a single mentor to say guided me in this business. I got my spot in this business because I earned it. I may have had some doors opened for me courtesy of my bestie Veena but I fought my fights, I took my lumps, I’ve verbally made some of the best performers in this business tremble at sound of my voice. I may not see you right now, but I know you’re heart is beating faster than normal. Your hand ain’t steady as mine, darling. This ain’t Dynasty or Showdown or Empire you walking to. This is Voltage, where Veena Adams is co general manager and Viz is the hand that gave her that power. While you fucks had to claw and scrap for this CITV shot, I earned it months ago. People say I was the only one handed my spot, how wrong could they be?! I earned this spot when I linked up with the most hated woman in wrestling history and we plotted taking over at the top of this year. Look at all that have opposed us! Tyler Wolfe wanted war and she failed when the chips got pushed in. Myles was hand picked to take me down and I beat his ass to the point he had to tag team with fat ass Xander Payne to be successful. Sosa Henderson skirted by but he walks every day hoping to live up to the 85 day reign I had as New Breed champion. Rex McCalister wanted to be the hero but fell to dust at the snap of my fucking fingers. Adam and two combined aren’t even a quarter of the way as good as any of these people but, here you are.

Running up hill to face King Ghidorah like this story has a happy ending at the end. If you think this has a happy ending for either of you or anybody else I’m facing at Pain for Pride then you haven’t been watching closely.

Adam may be adamant about the world not starting and stopping on my watch. But, it kinda does, tho. You see, you were brought to my show to be in the main event with me. The co-general manager, who is my confidant and the one and only vanilla goddess, has handed you and Victoria Venom to me as a tune up for Pain for Pride. You can go to the park, shoot some hoops like you Will Smith but the only fresh prince here is me. I sound foreign to the ears of the fool because I speak prophecies and you aren’t worthy, Adam. Your best efforts was looking competitive against Diamond Cage? That makes you some kind of Kodiak Killer, huh? You and your Spalding can come bounce right down to Voltage and I’ll show you what a killer looks like.

A killer doesn’t just dive in to a barrel of HGH and watch a bunch of CT Fletcher workouts on repeat. A killer takes a world champion like Rex McAllister and embarrasses him for the world to see. A killer beats Crosby Carter and his wife’s ass like I did at King of Elite. A killer breaks Tyler Wolfe’s friend’s ankle and ends her career before it even starts. A killer walks to another brand like Empire, tells everyone he is the face of it and proves it on their FPV thereafter. A killer doesn’t just find cool locations to sound tough from. I’ve spout some of my most vicious speeches outside of jail cells my opponents have spent the weekend in. I’ve ran my mouth in hot springs in Russian spas, I’ve even stood in complete darkness with only minimal lighting and purple smoke as the backdrop and verbally violated guys who were out of your leagues. Yet here I am, talking directly to you and your guilty by association asshat of a peer Vicky as I yawn and wipe the boogers from my eyelids at this display you present to me. I know you two are oh so excited and eager to shut up the sovereign but brace yourself, this ain’t just some easy feat. This ain’t like when MTV was your biggest concern, Graves. I’m not like Bowen Castillo and whoever else you were rolling around the ring with on fight grid, Vicky. I haven’t been on fight grid a single time in my career for a match, you know why? My name too big for the small ponds, honey. My dick swings to low to deal with you guys on smaller platforms. The world revolves around Veena, Nina, KIMMY, and me! The cash in the vault is mine to seize and I for damn sure will not allow two unwashed, alt-right looking, Tampa Bay day shift strip club bouncers even sniff victory this week or at PFP!

Im going to bitch slap you both until my skin rips off and then I’m going to stick my bony, skeletal fingers down your hot breath having throats and choke you from the inside out. I’ve never hit two KISS TO THE HEAD shots with both elbows before but I’m so very confident that I can knock you two newbie lames out at the same time that I may just do just that. I’ve been alternating between watching Deontay Wilder knockouts and footage from Worldstarhiphop fight compilations and I’ve convinced myself that one shot to either of your temples from this sharp ass elbows may just kill one of you scrubs right in the middle of that ring. You know, I wouldn’t mind having a body on my record for all to see as a reminder and as a warning to all other idiots who dare to charge head strong and courageous as if that’s all it takes to beat me. You see the manicured nails and assume I haven’t had to get blood washed out of my cuticles. I would love nothing more than literally kill the Kodiak Killer with an elbow to the skull that sends him in to a seizure in the middle of the ring. As Victim Venom looks down at Adam convulsing and EMTS try to keep that fucker from swallowing his tongue, BAM a KISS TO HIS HEAD to him also as he drops like a sack of bricks right next to Graves like a pair of bosom buddies. Yeah, ironic how your last name is Graves and here you are making a grave mistake if you expect nothing less than my fucking name being spoken at the end of this match on Voltage and my hand raised high. The only thing Venomous about this is that after I leave Vic’s lips swollen, his eyes blacked, his chest caved in, and his daddy looking up from Hell shaking his head at the brutality displayed by the next REAL legend of this business.


That’s what Scott Venom will say as Satan takes a metal hanger that has been cooking on an open flame for two hours and slides it over his overrated back. Oh, if your daddy isn’t dead Vic I hope he gets a heart attack two seconds before this vid drops and my words become facts. Either way, you and Adam are in for a rude awakening.

Say my name as your chances of winning Cash in the Vault burn, burn, burn up the second that bell rings. Kimmy says RAWR! Viz leaps and soars. “BASKETBALL IS MY FAVORITE SPORT, I LOVE THE WAY THEY DRIBBLE UP AND DOWN THE COURT” ass niggas... are those Doc Martens on your feet as you toss up 12 foot air balls? Ima beat that ass like the bad boy Pistons used to do MJ and them...💋

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