MATCH PROMO ♥ found footage film: the cahawba, alabama nightmare. will magnum opus actually make it to showdown?! ● showdown ii

Kassidy Heart

♥ The Queen of Hearts ‖ Stargurl ☆
Staff member
Unified Tag Team Champion

(The static clears and the exhausted face of Kassidy Heart comes into focus. It’s been a long day of travel for Kassidy and Ahren Fournier. They are currently in Cahawba, Alabama. It’s an abandoned ghost town.)

Kassidy Heart: So because someone is more of a woat than a goat right now, I currently find my life in danger. Kassidy Heart, that’s me by the way, a young woman of only 23-year, is currently sitting in a ghost town somewhere in Nowhere, Alabama… the heart of the Confederacy mind you, and honestly I don’t know if I’m going to make it Showdown at this point. Despite passing several gas stations, someone decided we didn’t need to stop for gas. Someone decided we should go exploring this nothing town that was abandoned years ago due to flooding and famine, and incest… and whatever the hell else goes on in Alabama.

(Kassidy shudders at the thought.)

Kassidy Heart: My phone currently has no service so we can’t even call for help. Ahren has a Motorola flip phone that is of course dead. I didn’t even know they still made those but I digress. Who am I to judge when I’m the one who gave this man the keys. All I wanted to do was go to Showdown and beat the living shit out of Noah Reigner. I wanted to shut that stupid little cunt up once and for all. And that is exactly what Noah is. He is literally just a cunt. There’s nothing different, or unique, or special about Noah. He is the basic bitch of male wrestlers. If I have heard one Noah Reigner speech, I have literally heard them all. He will take personal shots and act like he has shit all figured out. But honestly, Noah knows nothing about me or what I’ve gone through. He has no clue what this alliance I’ve made with Ahren means. He doesn’t know what myself and the rest of the Jaded Wolfe Hearts go through and that’s because he has been sheltered, coddled, and kept away from adversity over on Voltage.

(Kassidy is about to continue talking, but something directs her attention away from the front facing camera.)

Kassidy Heart: Ahren?

Ahren Fournier (whispering): They can hear us you know..

Kassidy Heart: Ahren please… the sun is setting and it’s really creepy out here. Please don’t make this worse.

Ahren Fournier: Glub glub, glub glub.. I feel the earth and I becoming one.. They are I, and I is them… Who’s to say this isn’t what life should be? Ya know? Do you?

(Kassidy turns her face towards the camera and sighs. The look on her face tells the entire story. But she turns back around towards Ahren, and all that’s seen is the back of her head.)

Kassidy Heart: I don’t know. I’m not sure what to even say to that. But Ahren, we have got to figure out how we are getting to Birmingham. We are like two hours away. Like, Showdown is tomorrow night. Noah. Cage back in the building. People making threats against us. Talking their shit. Like, you don’t need to become one with the Earth right now…

Ahren Fournier: Why go to Birmingham when we can stay here, and be one with the shadows for all eternity… Don’t you want to be… Nothing yet everything all at once? This is your chance… GOAT hath spoketh.. Do you want me to pet your mane to calm you a bit? Maybe give you some carrots to calm your soul.. It’ll be ok, we’re here together.. THIS IS PARADISE..

Kassidy Heart: No. I really don’t need you to pet my hair or anything else that’s weird. I want you to start walking up the road, flag down a car, and get someone to take us a gas station. Don’t you want to make it to Showdown? Don’t you want the world to see the GOAT? Don’t you want to watch me kill Noah and for both of us to send a message to little pussy champion Diamond Cage?

Ahren Fournier: Ok.. Frolic… PRANCE AND FROLIC WITH ME.. It’s not hard, I can show you how. It’s the only way Kass, THE ONLY WAY.. We aren’t making it out of here unless you do it right. Take my hand and I’ll show you the way of the land. They, it, won’t let us leave unless it’s done, and done right so I hope you know what you’re doing Kass. Follow my lead and we shall be fine. BUT do you want to be fine?! OR DO YOU WANT TO BE GREAT?! The choice… Is yours.. Lil bo GOAT.

(Kassidy looks back into the camera, completed wide-eyed. ‘What the fuck??’ she mouths, and clearly so Ahren can’t hear. Kassidy takes a deep breath.)

Kassidy Heart: Well guys, if you find this footage and we never make it to Showdown, you can assume we are dead. Because really, this place is worse than that damn haunted murder house Ahren made me visit back when we were in Australia. Please know that all I ever wanted out of this life was to be more than just a pretty face. I wanted to be taken seriously as a professional wrestler. I always stood up for myself and for my friends, and fought for my beliefs. I took every single step I could take to try and change the course of my career and help my friends get their time in the spotlight. I never backed down from bullies like Flannery McCoy, and I certainly never allowed a stupid man to undermine my accomplishments simply because they apparently weren’t up to par with his. Noah, if you happen to see this video some day after I’m gone. Just know that I tried to make it to Showdown. I wanted to fight you. I wanted to show you that I’m not that same girl from So-Cal… that I am not a lackey. I was going to give you the fight of your life and I was gunna do what only Devan Dubian has been able to do to you in EAW, and that is pin you. I was going to outwrestle out, out class you, and show everyone that I am better than you. I was gunna prove that your words could only take you so far. I was gunna show everyone that once the bell rings, Kassidy Heart is a mother fucking queen inside that ring. The talent I possess is second to no one. I am the real deal, the Queen of Hearts, the Stargurl of EAW, and the future face of this company.

Ahren Fournier: Kaaaaasssssiiiddddyyyy….

(Kassidy ignores Ahren and stares directly into the camera. For all she knows this could be her last ever promo… oh my god imagine.)

Kassidy Heart: You get NOTHING about me, Noah. My alliance with Ahren has everything to do with how we have both been held back and mistreated by this company, and you’re goddamn right we are both complaining about it. Sienna and Tyler both complain about it. Hell, half the Empire roster complains about it on a weekly basis. So before you try and turn this into a dick measuring contest, why don’t you just shut the fuck up about things you know nothing about? I don’t give a damn if you view this match as something of a waste of your time. I don’t see it as a saving grace for myself. I have had big wins here already in EAW, and I have competed in more main events and high profile matches than you have. The only difference between us is that I have had to scratch and claw for those chances, while your general managers have gift wrapped you nice things and handed them to you on a silver platter. But I will say this. This match is a huge opportunity for me because I can take my victory over Mr. Cash In The Vault back to Empire and shove it in the faces of all those little rats who infiltrate my lockerroom. I will have done something none of them could do, or could even hope to do, and that’s beat you, Noah. Beating you sends a huge message not just to Empire, but to Showdown and Voltage as well. Kassidy Heart is bigger than Empire. She deserves more than that shitty brand can offer her. She belongs on every show, fighting for whatever the fuck she wants to fight for, and that’s just a fucking fact.

Because guess what, Noah? I have worked hard, and you know what? I’m about to drone on and one and on about that. Because contrary to what you say, it is not ’bullshit’. You are not the only person in Elite Answers Wrestling with a superior record. Between REVOLT and EAW, I have lost a total of six times between two companies. In the course of those losses, only two people have managed to pin me, and trust me. It wasn’t due to lack of competition between either place. I’m pretty sure I hold more victories over people who were champions at the time I defeated them than anyone else in this place. I defeated Andrea, Cloud, and Sienna Jade all the while they held their respective championships, and those aren’t victories you can belittle either. Andrea has proven her toughness in this company several times over. The men she defeated for the Openweight Championship back at Pain for Pride aren’t exactly piece of shit competitors. She defended her championship against Terry Chambers, someone who faced Diamond Cage for the EAW World Championship not to long ago, and we all know she should have defeated Lars.

I defeated Sienna Jade… not once but twice, and trust me. That’s quite the accomplishment. Tyler can tell you herself how fucking hard that is. Not many people can say they’ve defeated Sienna, and I’m the only person who’s ever been able to do it twice. We took each other to the limit back in the Empress of Elite semi-finals and if I’m willing to dig that deep and fight that hard against someone I am quite literally and figuratively ready to die for at any given moment, imagine the actual lengths I will go to in order to shut your fucking ass up.

I don’t think I even need to talk about Cloud. Her fucking title run was littered with overly dominant victories. But one thing she failed to do was outsmart me. She took her eyes off the prize and I took advantage of that situation. Overlooking me and not staying focused was her biggest mistake, and I know you, Noah. I know your fucking ego and just how big it is. Belittling me and trying to measure your dick against mine isn’t going to work. You can’t compare apples to oranges, despite the fact they’re both round. You can gas yourself up and think you’re better than me, but the reality of that is you’re not. You never have been and you never will be because every time I step into the ring, I fight like it’s my last time in there. I fight knowing that something could happen to me tomorrow and I will have left this Earth without fulfilling my destiny. That’s exactly why I go as hard as I fucking can, every goddamn time, against anyone who crosses my path. All your words do is serve as motivation for me because the shit you have said this week is the bullcrap I’ve dealt with my whole life. It’s dumb. It’s generic. And it’s the same fucking thing everyone else says.

I thought you were the Ace of EAW?

Shouldn’t the Ace of EAW be able to form a more creative argument than the one you’ve put forth?

Call me crazy, but I am a main event player here, Noah. I’ve already headlined more FPV’s than you, and that includes a quad-branded show. Were you in War Games? You already tried to undermine me by saying your name is mentioned right up there with Cage, Theron, and Rex. But have you been in the ring with them? Did you take them to their limit? Did you steal the show against them and emerge from War Games as the person everyone talked about? No, I don’t think so. You sure as fuck did not. You’ve only faced Rex, in a losing effort, and no one even remembers that match. It was that lackluster and that unremarkable. It was on some half-assed episode of Voltage, a show no one even gives a damn about anyway. It fucking sucks. As far as my other big time main events? Well, Terminus was one of them. Sienna and myself might not have walked out as champions, but we sent a message and put everyone on notice. The next time we got our opportunity at the Empire Tag Team Championships, we won them on the biggest stage in sports entertainment, and that was at Pain for Pride. Now Manifest Destiny, well you got me there. That one still stings. That one hurts. But I’m only human and at times, we all have to face reality. But you know what I took away from that week and from that loss?

I took away the fact that I am a star in this business. I broke myself down, shattered my own heart that week, and walked into Brooklyn knowing the odds weren’t in my favor. No one expected me to make it past Andrea, let alone to the finals of the event. I had two matches, killed myself in both, and during that main event, people got to their feet. For the first time in my career people got a glimpse at who the fuck I actually am. They saw the lengths I was willing to go too in order to achieve my dreams and get the one thing I deserve more than any other woman on Empire. That World Championship shot should have been mine. I know that. You know that. The ungrateful cunt who won the match knows that. Those fans inside the Barclay Center? They knew that as well and guess what, Noah? They wanted it as well. Because at the end of the day, love me or hate me, they fucking respect me. Everyone loves someone who gives it their all. People stan a fighter who believes in her cause and goes for what she wants. Because I chose to do this and fight this fight alongside others doesn’t make me a supporting cast member in any single person’s story. It makes me the fucking hero of my own. Because if I can manage to help them get equal treatment and the opportunities they deserve, as well as prove I deserve my own, then I have won. I have cemented the legacy of Kassidy Heart. I have shown every single person that with hard work, determination, poise, and grace you can overcome even the worst general manager’s vision in the history of sports entertainment.

I love that you’ve tried to paint me as the delusional one here. Were you in REVOLT, Noah? Did you watch it every week like a good lil television viewer? I didn’t fall on hard times. I literally lost my debut match because my shitty partner didn’t show. But after that? I stole the show time and time again. The little known Australian started catching everyone’s attention. People thought I was too good to be true. How did this girl slip under so many radars for so long? Everyone wanted to see more and more of Kassidy Heart. I didn’t have to latch onto anyone in order to flourish because before the Jaded Hearts were formed, I was already doing that on my own. Sienna and I decided to become a team because the second we stepped into the ring to face off against one another, there was a spark. There was an attraction. There was the other person’s reflection - a beautiful, hungry, deadly, and passionate one - staring right back at them. Our chemistry sizzled. Our hearts skipped a beat. The second Sienna Jade looked into my eyes I knew. I just fucking knew that she would have my heart for the rest of our days, and becoming a team was a no-brainer. Together we have ended careers. We have made people cry. We have taken so many journeys together. We are equals in every sense of the word. So don’t. Don’t be like the Empire roster. Don’t try and tell one that she is better than the other. It’s a dead argument. Stop beating it into the ground. We have shown so many fucking times that both of us are fucking great at this sport.

Bringing Tyler into this is very shitty of you, but what else can people expect?

If you got your head out of your ass and paid attention to her life, then you would know that Tyler and I were placed together by Andrew. Andrew is the one who brought us both to The Plant, stood us in the middle of the ring, and forced us to face one another. It was his idea to form the Jaded Wolfe Hearts because Empire was a number’s game back then. The Crowe’s Nest was wilding out. The Pride was starting to form. People were pairing off and he knew that together we would be better. I mean fuck. The damn show is still a numbers game because it’s literally the only way to survive on that brand. So don’t sit there and make yourself sound like an even bigger douchebag by again speaking about things you know nothing about. Remember, you’re the man who had to form his own ‘House’ in order to try and survive in EAW. You’re the one who’s been tag teams and stables almost all of your career.

So really, if me having friends in this business as well as allies to watch my back is my attempt at being relevant, what the fuck is your excuse for doing the same thing?

Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

I told Theron that during War Games, and it fucking applies to you as well. My alliance with Ahren Fournier is what’s best for business for both of us right now. I’m going to take him to that next level and in return, I get to fight for what I want on different platforms. I don’t have to be suffocated by Empire. I can stand beside Ahren on Showdown and show the entire world exactly why Empire is wasting me. Together, we are bigger than this company. We really are fucking stars. We are bigger than the heavens you want us to fall from, Noah.

I’m going to end this by taking a page out of your playbook. Your attempt at an ether was kewt, but that’s all it truly was. It was just an attempt to be edgy, and get a cheap pop, and get people talking about you. At the end of the day you spoke nothing original. Next time you wanna cause chaos with your words, just put together a video of Empire sound bites; of those bitches talking their shit. There won’t be any difference. When we step inside the squared circle and that bell rings, the results won’t be any different either. I will be the one kicking your ass, countering your moves, and proving my toughness by taking your strikes. I will be the one in there knowing that this victory for me will send shockwaves through the entire wrestling world. People will gasp. They will do a double take. When Kassidy Heart gets her hand raised in victory, the shock and awe inside the building will be the sweetest sounds my perfect ears have ever heard. The look of horror on Evelyn’s face will be perfect. You in the middle ring, flat on your stupid back, staring up at the lights will be the picture that is plastered all over the Internet. Ahren and I celebrating my victory over your fallen body is going to be the GOATEST thing this company as ever seen, and then next week at Wicked Games we get to repeat the same damn thing. Mr. Cash in the Vault… the so-called Assault Rifle loves to sit there and say he’s gunna line them up and shoot them down.


(Ahren comes up behind Kassidy and places his chin on her shoulder. He lowers his shades, gives the camera a lewk, and then turns his face to her.)

Ahren Fournier: Wow… that was really clever Kassigoat… baa baa bitch. Hahahaha. Magnum Opus always fucking wins! Now…. take my hand Kassidy. Take my hand and let us go. Let us venture into the light… or the dark, and see what the Earth holds for us. Shhhh…. Listen. They’re talking to us. They hear us right now. Can you hear it, Kassidy? Can you fucking hear that?!

(Kassidy gives Ahren an awkward look and shakes her head.)

Kassidy Heart: No, no I can’t. I don’t want too.

(Ahren is seen standing up and pulling Kassidy up to her feet. Her phone is pointed at the ground so really that’s all that’s seen right now.)

Kassidy Heart: I’m not comfortable with this. I don’t think we should walk away from the car. Who knows what happens in these woods at night?!

Ahren Fournier: Probably satanic sex parties to be honest. You know where they slit the throat of a pig and fuck in the blood? Good times, good times.

Kassidy Heart: You’re kidding right? People actually do that kind of thing? We may as well just start walked back towards the car, and see if we can flag someone down. Either that, or we gotta start walking. Imagine two people in our position walking down the street. Ugh. This is so woat.

Ahren Fournier: Well, if we run across someone in the woods, we should probably then turn back. Because you know what those satanic cults do? They take unsuspecting strangers, lure them out to the woods, and sacrifice them to the Devil. I think they just do the pig stuff because they’re easier to get. I don’t know. Really isn’t my thing. But yeah, I’d def say this is a place where that kind of stuff happens, and that these here woods are haunted. But that’s what you wanted right?

Kassidy Heart: What?! No! This was your idea. I hate this kind of thing. I don’t wanna go explore the woods. I don’t want to see what’s out there. I want to Birmingham and get a really good sleep before Showdown. This is my debut and you should want me to be rested and focused on Noah! You want me to beat his ass, right?

Ahren Fournier: Oh my goodness more than anything. You’d do that for lil old me? No foolin?

Kassidy Heart: They made the match, didn’t they?

Ahren Fournier: It disappoints me that his theme song isn’t Spooky Scary Skeletons.. You know that song? Anyway, he’s a walking skeletal system. How this dude wins any matches in EAW is beyond me. Like, has he ever eaten anything in his life? You can beat him Kass, I know you can; because you’re on the side of good, and justice. You have everything going for you to win this match. Look at all the momentum you’ve got going on.

(While Ahren had been speaking, Magnum Opus had been heading deeper into the woods. The river could be heard off in the distance, and even though the moonlight was pretty, Kassidy had the camera back on her face. She looks super tense. Suddenly a noise is heard and Kassidy jumps a mile. The phone falls from her hands and hits the ground. It lands face up of course because we’re extra. Kassidy is seen clinging to Ahren.)

Kassidy Heart: Did you hear that? It sounds like someone stepped on a stick.

Ahren Fournier: Ohmygod they are here… they are here Kassidy. They are here. Wow. I can’t believe it. Maybe Showdown’s not in the cards. Maybe, just maybe tonight turns out to be bigger than that. Maybe it gets wild and crazy, and things get weird, and the Satanic sex cult emerges from those trees over there… they’re chanting in their language, beating their chests, and somehow… some fucking how their chanting makes more sense than anything Noah Reigner has ever said in his life, and they have their pig. They split it open. They bathe in its blood… and Kassidy, KASSIDY… they present it to us. They try and they give it to us. Because it’s a sacrifice. Holy shit it’s a sacrifice.

Kassidy Heart: God you are the weirdest fucking person alive. We’re never doing this again. I swear if we make it out of here alive, and somehow get to Showdown so I fuck up Noah, you are never getting the keys again. You are never gunna be in charge of our car trips.

Ahren Fournier: SHHHHHHHHHH. You’re interrupting them! Now c’mon, Kass. Lets meet them halfway!

(Ahren is seen grabbing Kassidy and pulling her out of view of the camera. Eventually their voices fade and only the sound of the night can be heard. Crickets. The occasional sound of a small animal scurrying by. An owl is heard hooting a few times. But mostly, it’s just silence. The minutes that pass seem like hours, but suddenly… SUDDENLY… the screaming of a female is heard. Ahren is heard screaming for Kassidy to come back. The sound of footsteps running get louder and louder until the crunch right across the camera….)


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