The White Trash Carters
MAY 10TH, 2019 - FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY
Tonight Crosby was supposed to wrestle Lucas Johnson one on one. The two men were not strangers. The first tag team match that Crosby and Thadd had ever had on Dynasty was against Bowie Grey and Lucas Johnson. It seemed that Lucas, Hitchman and now Feral had been a mainstay throughout the FloBro’s short time on Dynasty. They were a common thread woven into their careers. And tonight it all came to a head when Carsyn Carter announced that the FloBros wanted to challenge the Tag Team Champions at Pain for Pride. Getting on that Pain for Pride card was a dream come true and Carsyn wasn’t just a pretty face. The blonde was determined to get her clients onto that card and to also get gold around their waists. That was her job and she would not stop until she helped Thadd and Crosby realize their dreams. But of course, Lucas and Feral came out demanding a contendership match. So the match was set for Gateway to Glory. And then Crosby was supposed to get his one on one matchup with Lucas. He was looking forward to getting another win over the arrogant little manwhore. But Feral stole that win tonight. And then he took the FloBros out.
Crosby was knocked unconscious and in true Jersey style, Thadd and Carsyn hadn’t waited for medical attention to arrive. They picked up Crosby and carried him backstage themselves. The bro was laid out on a table in medical, still out cold. Carsyn had her hands on her hips and Thadd was standing next to the doctor as he examined their bro. They had tried shaking him but he wasn’t waking up.
“His vitals are fine. I’ll get the smelling salts.” The doctor said, going over to his desk and digging through a drawer. This was just another Thursday night for him.
Thadd stepped closer to Crosby, lifting up his eyelid with his thumb. “Bro. Are you in there?”
No response. Thadd let out a sigh and then patted Crosby on the face gently. Nothing. Carsyn rolled her eyes and walked over closer to Thadd, looking down at her husband. She hit him a little harder than Thadd had.
“Crosby!” She screeched. “Get up!”
But the daredevil didn’t move. So Carsyn reeled back and slapped the living shit out of her husband.
“I said GET UP!” She yelled. And just like clockwork, Crosby’s eyes flickered slightly. The greatest hair in the business looked around the room slightly.
“He lives!” Thadd exclaimed.
“Where’s Lucas?” He muttered, his words coming out laboured. Both Carsyn and Thadd cracked a smile.
“Sweetie, you got the knocked the fuck out.”
Slowly Crosby pushed himself up to a seated position. Thadd handed him a small ice pack that Crosby placed on his head softly. Carsyn placed her hand on Crosby’s back, helping him sit fully up.
“Feral got involved. That big motherfucker fucked us both up. He cracked your head off the ring post. It was kind a gnarly actually.” He meant it would be gnarly if it was anyone but Crosby and all three of them knew that.
“Doc, is he alright?” Carsyn asked now that she’d woken him up. The doctor, who was standing with the now useless smelling salts in his hand made an unimpressed face at the blonde. But the lady FloBro just flashed a smile at him and batted her eyelashes.
“You’re fine Mr. Carter. Just get some rest and you’ll be good to go.”
“You hear that bro?! You’re golden!”
Carsyn and Thadd looked at him, waiting for a response. But Crosby still looked groggy as he narrowed his eyes, glancing around the room.
“I still can’t believe that fuck fucker knocked me out.” Carsyn and Thadd both couldn’t help but laugh. Crosby turned to Thadd. “We’re going straight deathmatch trash on these fuckers.”
“Hell yeah!” His bro replied, so stoked at the idea. “Pain for Pride here we come!”
- - - - - - - - - -
Carsyn and Crosby Carter were standing in front of some god-awful tie-dye backdrop somewhere in an EAW studio. The flawless blonde was wearing a pair of leopard print high-waisted short shorts and a flowy black crochet crop top. Her blonde locks were in soft waves and you were drawn into her hot pink lips as she smacked on a wad of bubble gum. Her husband wore a pair of black skinny jeans with rips in the knees and a tie-dye tank top that clashed completely with their backdrop. His flawless flow was in his natural waves around his shoulders and a bright yellow headband kept it out of his face. Crosby slid his John Lennon-style sunglasses down slightly on his nose as he looked into the camera with a smile on his face.
“It’s Gateway to Glory ladies and gentleman.” He then fully removed the glasses before he continued. “And never has that name been so fitting. Because it truly will be the gateway for one tag team to make it onto that stage at Pain for Pride. When I signed on the dotted line earlier this year, I never imagined I would end up here. I never imagined a deathmatch bro from Jersey would be standing here in front of the EAW camera’s getting ready to get his fuckin’ spot at Pain for Pride. But life is a crazy fuckin’ thing. And so Gateway to Glory is around the corner and the bros are ready to open that door and walk the path to Pain for Pride. It’s a big ass deal to be able to say that we are competing for a spot on that card. When we signed everyone turned their nose down at us. Everyone sees us as shit because I’ve never had formal training and Thadd’s too high to see most days. But somehow, someway, it’s never fuckin’ mattered. We have come into EAW and we’ve got the people behind us. The fans love us and they can see that this business is it for us. This is the endgame, baby. And we’ll never stop. No one expected us to make it onto Pain for Pride. You look at us and you see 24/7 battle royale and nothing else. And damn, we saw how well I do in battle royale’s at Grand Rampage.” The bro let out a laugh at his own expense. He was pretty much eliminated as soon as he stepped into the ropes that night. But you could tell it literally didn’t affect him.
“But this isn’t a battle royale. Nah. It’s a fuckin’ tag team match. Me and my absolute best bro are about to step into the ring against Luke and his new muscle and we’re gonna fight to the death for our shot at Pain for Pride. And I know you look at us and you laugh. I know you and that fat penguin who does all your talking don’t think we’re a serious threat to you. But bro, we don’t take much in this life seriously. But this match? Oh baby we’re looking at this match like a fat kid looks at cake. We want it baby. We want that win more than anything else in this world. You see, you guys come out here talking about how you’re the best. You guys are all about making your opponents feel sad and shitty. But bro, I couldn’t give a shit what you think about me. For me this is about realizing my dreams. This is about doing what everyone said a little Jersey boy couldn’t do. This is about Pain for Pride bitches and ain’t noone gonna take that shot from me. You want that slot at Pain for Pride? Your little homie Feral is gonna have to do a lot more than knock my head against a ring post to take this bro out of contention. This is our match to win. The FloBros are hands down the best tag team on Dynasty. You can’t fuckin’ argue you it. And at Pain for Pride, we’re about to show the world that we’re the best tag team in the fuckin’ world!”
A smirk spread across his face as he said those last words. Because he truly believed them. Carsyn took the wad of pink bubblegum out of her mouth, sticking it on the nail of her index finger before she waved gently into the camera.
“Hi, Feral, Lucas, Hitchy. It’s nice to meet you. Let me introduce you to… oh wait.” The blonde stopped for a minute and looked around confused. “Oh right, we already fuckin’ met you fat piece of shit. Honestly, Hitchy, what happened to you? You used to be such a good businessman. You used to have an edge. Now? Now you don’t even remember if you’ve fuckin’ met someone before. Let me refresh your memory darling. The FloBros came into EAW and the world adored them. The fans? They are smart people. They can sense talent and they know that the Bros have boatloads of it. Formal training or not. Wrestling machine or not. They know that the Bros have that it factor that can’t be bought or taught. They’re just good. And in their first ever tag team match they faced off against Bowie Grey and Lucas Johnson. It was their first showcase as a tag team and the whole world saw them whoop your clients little bitch ass all over that ring. My flawless husband actually pinned his ass in that ring. But wait - you guys dominate competition or something right? Let me repeat myself because it seems like maybe the reason you’re hanging out with losers is because you have early onset Alzheimer's. But like I said LAST WEEK, Lucas and Feral haven’t done shit. You can say whatever words you want but it doesn’t make them true. Lucas and Feral aren’t some dynamite team. They aren’t some fucking killers who win every match. They haven’t done shit except for lose to the Bros over and over again. What makes you actually think they have a chance? Bitch please.”
Carsyn rolled her eyes and made a disgusted face into the camera.
“Let’s get something straight. If the bros wanted to, they could take their rightful place on that Pain for Pride card. No one would question it. You don’t think that Starr Stan knows who the best tag team on Dynasty is? You don’t think I gave him a heads up before I went out there and challenged the winners at Fighting Spirit. Oh hunny, no. You don’t even know what is truly happening. We accepted this match because the Bros don’t pass up a fight. We accepted this match as a favour to you and Feral. We didn’t want you to feel left out so we happily accepted whooping your ass at Gateway to Glory. But make no mistake about it, this match is nothing more than a formality. That is our slot at Pain for Pride and noone elses. The Bros are the best team for the job and the best team to represent Dynasty at Pain for Pride. They are undefeated on Dynasty. And they have one little loss on their record to a team that I don’t even see around here anymore. So to me? That shit don’t count. What does count is that Crosby has never been pinned. What does count is that Thadd has a win over the goddamn World Champion. What does count is that the bros have beaten Lucas before. Crosby has beaten Feral just a few weeks ago. And the FloBros are the longest tenured tag team in all of EAW. A team you threw together in two days because Lucas is so desperate for a piece of gold to call his own isn’t going to walk into Dynasty and take my boys spot on that card. Oh hell no. Not on my fucking watch, Hitch. You better check yourself and your boys because if you get in my way, I will take you down my fuckin’ self. And you can bank on that.”
Mrs. Carter folded her arms across her large chest, glaring into the camera. Truly, she was hoping that Hitch would give her a reason to smack the shit out of him. She’d done it once and she wanted to do it again. He deserved it more than most.
“The FloBros are the tag team division on Dynasty. We’re it, man. We’re a solid team and we aren’t going to let anyone stand in our way to Pain for Pride. You wanna bring your janky ass tag team out to the ring at Gateway to Glory, Hitch? We’re gonna fuckin’ destroy them. We’re going to show you what it looks like to decimate competition and destroy your opponents. You guys wanna knock me out and fuck up my bro? Oh man. You think we’re super chill so it’s cool, right? Nah. You just made a fuckin mistake. Because all you’ve done is make us want to whoop your asses even harder. Originally we were just gonna beat you and move on. But now? Now we’re gonna make an example of you. How embarrassing is it gonna be for your clients when the wrestling machine and the one man wrecking crew get their asses handed to them by two kids from Jersey who grew up throwing eachother off of their fuckin’ roof? We’re coming for your blood, boys. We’re coming for your fucking life and we’re gonna put you bitches down at Gateway to Glory. We’re stamping our ticket to Pain for Pride and you can’t fuckin stop us.
Bro for Pride is gonna be lit!”
Likes: Noah Reigner