MATCH PROMO Do You Even Tag Team, Bro? [Pain for Pride 1]

Crosby Carter

The White Trash Carters

It’s Pain for Pride, baybee. And the FloBros couldn’t be happier. Since they were little kids, being professional wrestlers was always the dream. Since they lied their way into the business at the age of sixteen, they had known it was everything that they wanted. But after breaking their bodies and their minds in the indies, they truly never thought it would come to fruition. Crosby had watched as professional wrestling as a sport evolved. The days of hardcore, deathmatch-style wrestling went to the wayside. We saw the emergence of this technical wrestling that was performed by men who were chiseled perfection, like Thadd. Crosby had thought that maybe Thadd had a chance. But him? He had a dad bod that was maybe popular in the eighties, but not today. And on top of that he had no formal training. Crosby knew that a shitty backyard promotion in Jersey may be his only lifeline in this business. It may be as far as he went. And to be honest? He wasn’t mad about that. Crosby loved what he did. He loved bleeding in front of ten to twenty people week in and week out and putting on a show.

But then everything changed.

- - - - - - - - -​


Crosby Carter and Thadd Blazevitch were sitting on the couch inside their shitty apartment in Jersey. This was before EAW was ever a thought in their minds. It was always the goal. But one that they thought was unattainable. So not one they thought about often. Instead, Crosby had gotten some bootleg Japan Deathmatch DVD’s that he was showing Thadd. Currently playing on their flatscreen was what was called a Piranha Deathmatch. A literal fish tank of piranhas was placed in the centre of the ring. And one competitor was trying to shove his opponent’s face into the tank full of meat-eating fish. Both bros are sitting on the edge of their seat, watching this gnarly match-up. The door to their apartment opened and Carsyn Carrabetta (this was pre-marriage) entered with a huge smile on her face.

“Ohmygod! I have news!” The blonde shrieked as she walked into the house. Neither of the bros even looked at her. She closed the door behind her and placed her hands on her hips.

“Is it cooler than someone’s face being eaten by a fuckin' piranha??” Crosby asked his girlfriend.

“Uhh.. yeah.” She said. But again, neither of them turned towards her. Instead they visibly cringed, watching one of the wrestlers' faces come close to the water. Carsyn let out a huff as she walked over and turned the TV off and then turned to face the bros.

“Woah!” Thadd said.

“Shuttup and listen.” They both pouted as Carsyn rolled her eyes.

“I got a call today, from EAW.”

Immediately both Bros froze. “Like THEE EAW?” Thadd asked.

“Yes. Elite Answers Wrestling fucking called me, Carsyn Carrabetta TODAY!” She squealed, her smile spreading from ear to ear. She paused for dramatic effect and as if on cue, both bros leaned forward.

“Well??” Crosby prodded. “What did they say?”

The anticipation was literally killing them and Carsyn was kind of enjoying it. If she could have, she would have held the information in a little bit longer. But she felt like she was going to burst with joy.

“They want you to go to their performance centre in two weeks in Newark and try out!!!!!!!!!!!” Carsyn literally jumped for joy as the bros leapt to their feet. The three of them had the cutest group hug you’ve ever seen in your whole life.

“Holy fuck.” Said Crosby as they broke up the hug. He turned to Thadd who had the biggest smile he’d ever seen on his face.

“This is it bro. This is our chance!” And the bros shared a hug. Carsyn watched them with a twinkle in her eye. She had been a part of the FloBros for so long and she loved how pure Crosby and Thadd’s relationship was.

“Okay. So you guys need to go down to the clinic tomorrow and get some bloodwork done. They’re emailing me some medical forms to have the doctor fill out before the tryout. But ohmygod boys. This is real.”

Crosby put his hands on the sides of Carsyn’s head and looked into her eyes with amazement. “You are a fucking Queen.”

He hugged her close and then kissed her. After a few passionate moments he pulled away. She looked between the two of them.

“This was all you. I just took a phone call.”

- - - - - - - - -​


The Carter’s were standing in front of the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in complete silence. They had their backs turned to the camera, looking up at the arena before them. This moment was not lost on any member of the FloBros. This was without a doubt the biggest match of their career. Millions of people around the world would be watching. It was the FloBros first title opportunity and to have it at this stage just made it better. Carsyn had believed that they deserved a title shot long ago. But maybe waiting was worth it. Maybe waiting made it sweeter. Winning the tag titles on an episode of Dynasty would be cool. But winning the tag titles at Pain for Pride? Now that would be fucking epic. Crosby’s fingers were interlaced with his wives and his eyes were in awe. He was wearing a pair of neon green holographic pants and a leopard-print, button-up-the-front shirt that was left unbuttoned, showing off that perfect dad-bod. Only fitting for Father’s day. Over that he was wearing a leather vest. His long perfect flow was down around his shoulders and pushed off of his face with a leopard print headband. And finally on his feet were a pair of black and white checkered vans. Crosby Carter was a style icon. Respect. His gorgeous wife was wearing a pair of high-waisted blue jeans that were shredded up the front and the tinest, bright red lace bralette you’ve ever seen. Her bright blonde hair was pin-straight and the look was complete with a pair of bright red studded pumps.

After a few more moments, taking it all in, the most perfect couple in EAW turned to face the camera. Carsyn placed her arm on Crosby’s shoulder.

“Guys, this has been a fucking wild ride. I remember watching Pain for Pride last year with all the JWA bros. We had a party and we all almost died when Rex McAllister was about to end Diamond Cage’s life but chickened out. It was a killer show. And now I’m standing in front of the fucking Mercedes-Benz Stadium in ATL and I’m preparing for the match of my goddamn life. I know I’ve said it a million times before now - but holy fuck. This is the dream. This is what I’ve been wanting to do my entire life. Championship opportunities or not, I am living my dream. I am just a kid from Jersey who busted his ass to do what he loved and now I get to make money doing it. Now I get to walk into my first ever Pain for Pride as an EAW employee and I get to fight alongide my bestfriend, with my perfect fucking wife at ringside, and I get to try and capture that gold. I know people will say I’ve had a title shot before this. I got that New Breed shot all the way back at King of Elite. But this is different. Being in a tag team has always been my favourite part of wrestling. A few years back Thadd broke his hip and I won’t lie, it was hard for me to find my groove without him. It was hard for me to step into that ring without my bro at my side. It helped me grow as a singles competitor though. And say what you want about me not capturing the New Breed title that night, but I captured the hearts of the EAW universe. And that means more. I went out there with the sole intention to make a name for myself and throw down. And the universe took fucking note of what I did. They saw not only an amazing wrestler. But they saw passion and fucking love. So many of you are fighting for wins and accomplishments. But me? I’m fighting for my fuckin’ dreams. I am fighting for myself and my bro and every little kid around the world who’s ever done a swanton bomb on a trampoline.”

He had to laugh softly at that. Because Crosby would never forget his first swanton bomb on a trampoline in a friend’s backyard. It lit that fire inside him that could never be extinguished.

“I know that we are all going to throw down this week. I know that when we step into that fucking Arena this weekend, this match is going to be chaos. It’s going to be one of the most wild matches on the card. Because eight people are stepping into that ring and only two are walking out the victors. And because me and Thadd are in this match. This match is the kind of match that is catered to us. It is the kind of match that we thrive in. You all saw what I did at King of Elite. I brought out the fucking panes of glass. I brought the destruction. And that was just me alone. But me and Thadd? We haven’t had this freedom yet as a team in EAW. We’ve had straight tag team matches, but nothing like this. Nothing without rules. And oh baby, you guys don’t even know what you’re in for. I know some of you have a little bit of history with hardcore matches. The Wildcards won their tag titles in that match. But boys, one match isn’t shit to me. One match is NOTHING compared to what the FloBros have been through. We were raised in chaos. We have been through every shitty deathmatch you could imagine. I’ve see barbed wire and light tubes and tables and ladders and chairs. I’ve seen it all. And you know, you think a hardcore match changes nothing. You think it’s the same as any other match and that you can adapt. And you can, to an extent. But let me be clear - no one matches our experience in a match like this. No one knows what it’s like to pull barbed wire out of their own fucking hair and flesh like Thadd and I do and that sets us apart and it sets us up for success. Because Thadd and I will be in our element at Pain for Pride. And we’re not just looking for gold. We’re not just looking to be the first ever male Empire Tag Team Champs. We’re looking to showcase who the FloBros are and what we can do on the biggest stage of them all. The world will be watching and you best believe we’re gonna show out.”

“We know this won’t be easy. Hell, this might be one of the hardest matches of our lives. But we thrive on that shit. I have never shied away from competition. Thadd and I have never been the type to run from a fight. We run into a fight and this baby is gonna be ugly. But we’re gonna make ugly look so damn good.”

A smirk spread across his face. Carsyn took her arm off of her husband’s shoulder and looked directly into the camera.

“This is going to be the FloBros moment. Heavenly Hell and the Wildcards may have the titles going into this match, but coming out of it? I don’t fucking think so. Neither of you have the champions advantage going into this match. No one is a clear winner going into this match. Everyone knows that this shit is up for grabs and we are all going to be fighting tooth and nail to get what’s ours. But I will be damned if I let anyone leave that arena with those Tag Titles except for Crosby and Thadd. They are not only the longest tenured tag team in this company, let alone in this damn match, but their record is flawless. They have lost ONE tag team match. Crosby Carter has been pinned ONCE and it was by Jamie motherfucking O’Hara - a man who is probably about to claim a World Title this weekend. So like, I’m not even mad about that. So the next time you wanna include my boys in a list of your conquests Xander you might wanna check the facts and go fuck yourself. You didn’t beat the FloBros. Take your technicalities and your big words and go back to your igloo. You had chance after chance in that match to put them away. But you couldn’t. So why don’t you try a different approach sweetheart? Because that one is bullshit. But what is fact is that you and Myles shouldn’t even have those titles. You beat a not-legal Kassidy Heart. But it’s fine. I’ll let you have that one. But if you boys think anyone takes you seriously as a tag team, you’re sadly mistaken. You can go on and on about how you’re like totally a solid team now but no one is buying it. You were thrown together by Veena Adams. The bitch literally pulled names out of a hat. Which it is why it was hysterical to me to hear Myles say that Heavenly Hell was only the most dominant tag team on Empire because they lacked competition. Umm excuse me bitch, but where is yours? There are no other tag teams worth mentioning on Voltage. It’s why Veena had to create you two. It’s why you were formed. So save your bullshit about how you’re a tag team and how you’re together now. We all know that the only reason you two are latched on to each other is because you want that gold. You want those titles to remain relevant. Because as singles competitors you two were lacklustre.”

“I watched you, Myles, lose to the Visual Prophet in your big chance to become the New Breed Champion. At least Crosby didn’t get pinned in his match. And you wanna talk about Xander’s headlining match against Noah Reigner? Oh hunny, no. What are you doing? Xander Payne had no chance. I knew it. Noah knew it. The whole world knew it except for Xander. You were both dismal singles superstars. And that’s a fact. You can ignore it all you want but it’s real. And the real issue with that isn’t that you both suck. It’s that you are in this for the wrong reasons. Tag team wrestling is no fucking joke. It is often seen as the means of a lower or mid-card superstar. It is often seen as a sideshow to the main attraction. And when men like you two step into our zone because your careers are floundering, you just help solidify that lie. You are in this for the wrong reasons and it’s going to come back and bite you in the ass. Crosby and Thadd would DIE for each other in that ring. Hands down. No questions. Can you say the same about you two? I don’t think so. And that is what sets us apart and above you two. Because when it comes down to it the Bros are cradle to grave and that makes them the most solid tag team in this match.”

She folds her arms across her chest, a slight glare in her perfect blue eyes.

“Ya know, I feel like a lot of people are overlooking the OTHER champions in this match.” Crosby starts. “A lot of people are acting like Heavenly Hell has nothing to lose. But those two women are holding tag team gold and their brand is dead. They’re homeless with gold that is about to go out of style. I gotta feel for them to be honest. And I gotta agree with Constance. Where was Kendra when Veena was telling them they didn’t deserve to be in this match? Damn, they certainly earned this shit more than the fucking Revolution did. Veena only put those losers in here to spite the women of Empire. Let me just stand here and let you ladies know that I respect your hustle. I respect your game and you deserve to be here as much as the rest of us. I’ve got no problem dusting it up with some ladies. My friend Thadd and I even made a special appearance on Empire a few months back. I’m a fan of the goth baddies. I wish you girls well. You’ll show you belong. But win? Sorry, this isn’t going to be your night girls. I get it. You’re fighting for something this week. But just like the Wildcards, you’ve got not history. Have you even defended those belts yet? Nah. You just won those babies. They’re fresh and you’re looking to prove that you’re the best tag team in the world. But you can’t compare to mine and Thadd’s history together. You are another team brought together by convenience. Minerva did good by beating Nichols to get into this match. And sure, the same thing could happen this weekend. But will it? I don’t think so. Not with so many other people in the mix. You girls are good, but you’re just not on the bro level.”

Carsyn turned to look at her husband. A disgusted look crossed her face as she wrinkled her nose. “Do I have to talk about The Revolution?” She asked, her voice slightly whiny.

“You mean Drake’s bitches?”

The blonde cracked a smile and turned back to the camera. “I guess last but definitely least we have Drake’s bitches and the weak link of this whole damn match. Every team in this match and every human on earth knows that you don’t deserve to be on this card. You don’t deserve to be in this match. We have ALL watched you fail time and time again to get those tag team titles. Crosby and Thadd have been busting their flawless asses since January and they haven’t even gotten a tag team championship match yet. And you motherfuckers get two? I literally can’t. We had to have a contendership match to qualify for this match and that bitch Veena just lays out the red carpet for you two. Why? I honestly couldn’t tell you. You have failed both of your chances at winning tag titles already and we both know that you’re going to do it again at Pain for Pride. Honestly, how embarrassing. Like you said, you’ve got one life left and you’re about to use it up. And you know how I know you’re going to lose again at Pain for Pride? It’s not just because you’ve failed twice. It’s not just because Josh took that pin to Minerva on Voltage. It’s because you boys simply don’t learn. You complain and you whine and you make fucking excuses for being shitty. Get this.” Carsyn said, turning to her husband again. “They said that they lost their first match at Under Siege because… wait for it… Kassidy interfered in the match.”

“Uhh… wasn’t Kassidy in the match? She was the tag team champion, right?” Carsyn simply nodded.

“Yeah. Their elaborate story is that Kass helped Sienna even though she wasn’t legal.”

Crosby arched an eyebrow and had never looked so confused in his life. He turned to the camera. “Guys, I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this or not.. But that’s how tag teams work. You can slip into the ring and break up a pinfall or eliminate the other member of the tag team from interfering. Wow. How much weed do you think they had to smoke to kill all those brain cells?”

“A… lot.”

“Do you even tag team, bro?”

Carsyn shook her head in disbelief. “Regardless of you showing the world just how fucking stupid you are, you are nothing more than Drake King’s backup. He is using you to prop up his Interwire championship reign. You are lackeys and nothing more. And no one ever respects the fucking lackeys. You have been given opportunity after opportunity to take what you claim is rightfully yours. And you have failed time and time again. This will be no different. The FloBros earned this shot and I’ll be damned if some circle jerk from Showdown takes that from us. Oh hell no. So have your excuses ready. Let me set it up for you. I’ll be at ringside and I won’t be a legal member of this match. But there are no rules this week so I will get involved. I will smack the shit out of both of you and gouge Jake Smith’s pretty blue eyes out of his fucking head if that’s what I have to do in order to secure the win for my boys. No one deserves this more than them. No one has worked harder as a team than them. This is their moment and Thadd, Crosby and I will do everything possible to ensure that those belts come home with us. So you can feel free to place the blame on Carsyn Carter for yet another one of your failures. ”

“She’ll totally smack you.” The daredevil warned. “You guys aren’t ready for Bro for Pride. It’s gonna be fuckin’ lit!”

- - - - - - - - -​


The Bros had brought themselves to a local clinic. And were planning on paying with the tip money that Carsyn had been saving up for a rainy day. Thadd had already seen the doctor and his appointment was flawless. For a man who broke his hip not so long ago, he had bounced back like none before. Crosby and Carsyn were now in with the doctor. He was taking Crosby’s blood pressure at the moment. Carsyn was sitting on the small chair in the room like the perfect girlfriend she was. The doctor took the armband from Crosby’s arm and wrote a few notes down on the papers in his hands.

“Do you have any lingering injuries Mr. Carter?” He asked. His eyes immediately went down to a bandage on Crosby’s left forearm.

“Oh, that’s just a cut I got from a piece of glass at a show recently.” He replied, his tone was nonchalant. Being a deathmatch wrestler, Crosby had experienced way worse bumps, bruises and cuts than the one he had on his arm.

“Let’s just take a look.” The doctor said. Slowly, he removed the bandage. Beneath it, the wound looked almost green. The doctor looked visibly disgusted as he grabbed some disinfectant to clean the wound.

Carsyn stood up from her seat and peered over at the wound on Crosby’s arm. She hadn’t seen it unbandaged in a few days. The look on her face was one of concern.

“Mr. Carter, this wound looks severely infected.” Crosby tilted his head sideways to take a different look at it.

“You sure?” He asked, genuinely.

“Yes.” He replied, his tone short. “I’m sorry but I can’t approve these forms. This looks bad. You need to go to the hospital immediately. An infection like this can get into your bloodstream.”

Crosby’s face suddenly went from chill to confused. Carsyn placed her hand on top of Crosby’s other hand and gave him a half smile.

His dream was right in front of him. But this cut. This infection. It was about to change everything.


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