The White Trash Carters
Bro. Before we get all into the why I’m better than you and why I’m gonna smash your face in with weapons you’ve never seen before on Friday night, I got a question. For real. Why the fuck are you so mad? What is up with the school shooter persona like you’ve been done so wrong? My homie Starr Stan is just trying to run a solid ship. You know what kind of pressure that man is probably under? But I see you walking around getting handed championship opportunities. Getting the chance to fight former World Champions like Darkane. So for real homie, why are you so damn mad? You beat Ms. Extreme by cheating and instead of Starr Stan telling you to go fuck yourself sideways, my man gave you a title shot you didn’t earn at Ides of March. And you blew it homie. Ms. Extreme outwrestled you and kicked your ass to next Sunday. You are just one of these dudes who wants the world handed to you on a silver platter. Bro, you’re living your dream. Doing the job you love. If you can’t get in that ring and actually win matches, what do you expect Stan to do? You think that going out there and ruining one of the most killer Dynasty main events ever is gonna get you anything? Bro, didn’t your mom ever teach you that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Stan isn’t gonna want to reward you for that level of shit. And that’s why he called me in. Not because I’m some lacky. But because I respect the man and he respects me. Starr knows that in that ring I’ve got the talent. It’s why he hand-picked me represent Dynasty in that New Breed Championship match. He looks at the FloBros and he sees the future of this business, man. It’s not because of my sexy chubby bod or my flowing locks. Sorry to disappoint you. But I just don’t think I’m Stan’s type. It’s because Stan sees that me and my bro are different. We are young and we are talented and we don’t take shit for granted. Man, if I never got another title shot again I could die happy. This is my dream. And every time that I get to step inside that ring and show the world what I can do, I’m grateful.
Do you know how many people get to do what we do? Man there are two titles on this roster and a lot more than two dudes or dudettes on it. You gotta wait your turn. You gotta show the boss you deserve a shot. And you got one and you let it slip through your fingers. So you can throw my title loss in my face all you want. But in case you’re keeping score, I didn’t get pinned in that match. I didn’t get pinned during my title shot. You did, bro. So maybe you shouldn’t be throwing stones since your house is made of fuckin’ glass. Instead you need to get to the back of the line and fight your way back to the front. But throwing a fit clearly isn’t getting you anywhere.
You can call me a yarder or a trash wrestler. Call me all flash and no substance, but which one of us shows up every week with stars in their eyes and fire in their fuckin’ heart? I don’t bitch and moan and cry. I push through and I fight with every ounce of passion I have. Because I love this sport and I love what I do. And that’s why I get rewarded. And when I do get rewarded, I show up. I’m undefeated on Dynasty and I’ve never been pinned. Every time I step into the ring the fans are on their fuckin’ feet. The fans are riled up and wild because they know that Crosby Carter is gonna light the world on fire. I’m explosive and I’m the shit. Everyone knows what when I step into that ring, they’re getting a fucking show. I go out there with no fear and I give everything that I’ve got. And that’s what you lack man. You lack the drive and the passion and the good grace to be happy for what you have. You lack the ability to put your life into fuckin perspective. Stop blaming your failures on Starr Stan. Stop blaming your failures on the lack of opportunities. You’ve been given opportunities man and you’ve failed them. You lost the Hardcore Championship shot you got before you disappeared. You lost a match to Darkane which was your chance to fuckin’ show yourself. When you did get the chance to go toe to toe with our Pure Champion you took the easy way out and then STILL you got handed a title shot. And you lost that. Bro, you’re the problem. You’re like Taylor Swift, man. Keep writing sad songs about all the boys that broke your heart. But maybe you need to look inside and see that you’re the fucking problem. Maybe instead of interrupting matches and throwing a fit you should work on yourself because your issue is that you can’t win shit. And let me tell you straight up, that issue isn’t going to change this week. Because when you step into a street fight with the bro and your shit attitude, you’re asking for a beating. You’re asking for me to show the world why Mark Michaels is such a fuckin’ chump. And you’re asking Crosby Carter to shine in one of his favourite matches.
Listen up, Mark “I’m a cry baby bitch” Michaels. Clean your fucking ears out and listen well. You don’t have a fucking chance this week against Crosby Carter. You are going to go out there in front of the world and all of those Dynasty fans and you’re going to get bloodied and beaten and pinned for the 1, 2, 3. And then Crosby Carter’s hand is going to be raised in the air and you are going to hear something you’ve never heard. You are going to hear the crowd ERUPT into cheers. They are going to lose their collective goddamn minds and leap to their feet in a show of love and admiration for my husband. Something you will never experience because the entire world fucking hates you. No one wants to see you win this match. No one honestly wants to see you on their TV ever again unless it’s getting your ass handed to you by someone as amazing as my husband. You’re damn right this was a punishment from Starr Stan. And when you’re sitting in that ring crying your bitch baby tears about yet another loss being added to your pathetic record, you can remember just how fucking stupid you were for underestimating my man going into this match. I literally don’t care what bug you have up your ass about Starr Stan. I don’t care why you are so butthurt about sucking on Dynasty. But if you think you are going to head into this match and use Cros as some sort of fucking statement. Girl bye. I don’t think so.
You are stepping into a match that is heavily geared towards my husband. He may not have won at King of Elite. But he was the one that was doing the damage. Crosby is the one with the sick and twisted mind that pulls out panes of glass and fucks his opponents up. And this isn’t a fatal fourway like that was. Which means that Crosby will have no one to divert his attention. Instead he will be focusing ALL of it on you. He will be taking all that sick shit in his brain and he is going to turn it on to you. You wanna tell us that this match is just as easily yours because you’ve had a handful of matches in your career that were dangerous? You are really going to pull out a Glass Gauntlet match from fucking 2015 that you lost? You are really going to pull out a Hell’s Warpath from 2016 where you were eliminated by the joke that is Kevin Hunter? You know, the same man that Crosby Carter beat to solidify his contract here on Dynasty? C’mon Mark. You don’t think I’d do my research? Do you really think I’m all pussy and tits? I just stand around fucking and sucking people to get Crosby matches? Pfft. You fucking wish. No, instead I only spread my legs for my husband. I don’t need to fuck anyone to get him a job. As you can see from his results in-ring that he doesn’t need my help. My husband can perform, unlike you. You wish someone as hot as me would spread her fucking legs for you. But you’re too busy whining and crying about how hard your little job is and how mean your boss is that you’re annoying every living female in a one hundred mile radius.
Honestly, Mark. Get a new fucking line. Do you think you’re some fucking originator because you can spew the same shit as all of his opponents? I’m a whore. Wow. You’re a fucking revolutionary. You are a great mind of this generation. Just a fucking groundbreaker. Bitch please.
Back on topic. I do my research and you can list all the hardcore matches in the world to make yourself sound tough. But when it comes down to it, you fucking lost those matches. And that Hardcore Championship match you had back in August against Johnny Ventura (which, by the way - who?), you lost that one too. And not even did you lose - you lost and then you were nowhere to be see for three months. That one Hardcore match rattled you so much that you crawled into a hole and cried for three months like the little bitch I know you are. So all you’ve proven to me is that you’re underestimating my flawless, undefeated and fearless husband all the while misrepresenting what you can do inside that ring. You are a flop. A joke. A nobody. Starr Stan hopes that this week Crosby will simply erase your ass from history and send you back into fucking hiding.
Whatever you say bro, it doesn’t matter what your history with hardcore matches are. Because mine is just more. I’ve been doing the deathmatch shit my entire career. I lived and breathed this shit for years on end. Waking up with pieces of glass or thumbtacks still embedded in my skin. And I sure as hell never took a day off because of it. This is who I am. And while I’ve been in EAW I’ve proven that I can hang with the true wrestlers and that I can still excel at my style. You may have been around the EAW block longer than me, but you’ve proven that hasn’t helped you win shit. And this isn’t a standard match. You can’t pull your tricks or blindside me to try and win. Because what you failed to notice when you were eyeing up my sexy ass wife was that she isn’t just some piece of ass. Carsyn Carter gets down and dirty and she has no problems getting into that ring and throwing down with any motherfucker. Did you watch King of Elite? Carsyn took that pane of glass to save my ass. You want to underestimate her? Bro it’s your funeral. This week you’re the one on the outs. You’re the one with the odds stacked against them. It doesn’t matter what you’re fighting for. Because you’re stepping into my wheelhouse with me and my Queen and that is all the more reason for me to show up and show out. You can treat this as some fuck you to Stan. But I’m treating this at my first true chance to show the EAW world what I can do in a street fight; what I can do in a match that is catered to me.
This is my chance to make up for King of Elite. This is my chance to stand in front of the world and so some crazy ass shit and have the fans eating out of the palm of my fucking hand. And with Carsyn at my side, I don’t see how I can lose. No one on the roster has been able to beat me yet. What makes you think you’re so special? In order to come out of this match with a win, you’re going to have to put Starr Stan’s golden child down for good. And I just don’t think you’re as tough as you make yourself out to be. You may be fighting for some made-up cause you believe in. But I’m fighting for myself and I’m going into that ring to get those fans on their feet and show the world what I can do in my element. I’m gonna shock the shit out of you and the world. And like Cars said, I’m going to have my hand raised at the end of that match and I am going to keep on keeping on.
Deathmatch trash is going to show you how it’s done.