MATCH PROMO Is there a Mr. Gaines... Mrs. Gaines? [Voltage 7/21 #3]

Paulie Joshua

you dummy bitch
LOCATION: Undisclosed

TIME: 2:25 AM

DATE: 7/17/19

[The cameras fade in from an advertisement for EAW Voltage’s upcoming Hardcore Extravaganza, Bloodsport to show Paul Joshua in the driver’s seat of a dark vehicle, with none other than Jack Diddly riding shotty. Both men, dressed in black from head to toe, seem on edge as usual. A conversation ensues behind the cars tinted glass windows, as the cameras pan in revealing some of the dirt..]

JACK: We shouldn’t have done this, Paulie. You’re taking this WAY too far…

PAUL: Too far? Stop acting like a bitch, Diddly. This is what I do. Korey Gaines showed me that I can control his emotions so it’s only right that I take his soggy ass to the cleaners. I once read in the Art of War…

JACK: HA! You read that piece of literature just like you are a Three time…


PAUL: Fuck yourself, Jack. I read. Besides what the fuck did I tell you in St. Louis? Keep your mouth shut and just follow my lead. We’re gonna turn heads.

JACK: You’re gonna get us put in prison is what you’re gonna do. Look, I know that you’re really focused right now and I’m proud of that, don’t get me wrong. I’ve never saw you really commit like this but as your friend I can’t just let you carry this through. You’ve really crossed the line this time and I feel like a dumbass letting you pull me into all this shit!

PAUL: Don’t worry, Jack. It’s simple. See, now we have the upper hand.. NOT the other way around. It’s called strategy, motherfucker. Like I was trying to say about the text from the book, Author Sun Tzu says… and I quote; “Thus the expert in battle moves the enemy, and is not moved by him”. I would say that I have him by the balls but I think it’s FAR more fitting for Big Paulie to say that I officially have Kory Gaines by the clitoris.

[Although angry and discerned, Jack gets a rise out of the poke made by Big Paulie in reference to the true gender identity of one of Voltage’s rising stars; Korey Gains. During his chuckles, without using the turn signal, Paulie pulls into what appears to be a deserted lot, accompanied by only the remains of a brick structure, with overgrown shrubbery and absolutely ZERO outdoor lighting. Killing the lights before circling around the rear of the building, Paulie finally comes to a complete stop…]

PAUL: That Mighty Mouse wanna-be Gaines is finished! I’ve been proclaiming for weeks about me losing my tolerance, my sanity and my patience with these midcard scabs around here! This should send the message loud and clear to the Voltage officials, locker room, THE WORLD, and most importantly to the Gaines Family…


JACK: Oh fuck!



[With a deep knocking sound coming from the trunk of the tint darkened vehicle, Paulie grins from ear to ear, and swings open the drivers door. A level of calmness seems to have overcome him, as he backhand slaps Jack Diddly firmly on the shoulder…]

PAUL: It’s go time. Get up…

[The cameras fade to black as Big Paulie Joshua and Jack Diddly approach the trunk of the car. If you’ve ever watched any B or higher rated Horror movie than your mind must only wonder about the contents of the automobile’s spacy posterior. As the trunk pops, a glitch transition leads into some more EAW Voltage advertising…]

RUSILLO: Rich Russilo here, reminding you LIVE this and every Sunday, feast your eyes on the action packed, unpredictable program that is EAW Voltage!

[Another glitch interrupts and quickly interjects, cutting short the message from resident Voltage commentary man, Rusillo. In what seems to be in distinct one second intervals, the screen glitches in and out. Showing black, showing Rusillo. Show black, showing static. Showing black, showing Rusillo. From black, we now see an upclose face shot of Paulie Joshua. He’s sweating profusely, and is bearing a smile MUCH larger than we have saw in previous programming. The room is lit only but one dangling light, drawing attention to the center of the room, as darkness creeps in it’s corners. Behind a menacing, and nearly psychotic Paulie Joshua there is a figure, hooded and strapped to what seems to be a non-functioning Electric Chair. From the bottom of the individuals cloaked face, long raven locks are visible. As they shake, and unsuccessfully try to remove themselves from bondage, Paulie rants, with Jack Diddly’s approval…]

PAUL: Korey Gaines… Korey Declines. Korey Lives… Korey Dies! While you were dreaming about Bora Bora, and playing Captain Save A Heaux, I decided that myself and my good ole’ pal Jack Diddly needed to jump on a plane in the middle of the night and leave the great city of Cleveland. I bet you’re wondering why we would want to go on a Vacation at a time like this, aren’t you? With ya lil’ metrosexual haircut and your dwarfism… they should have cast you to be the lead of the new series Little Women: Oklahoma City. Tiny bitch! Speaking of Oklahoma City… I hear they are growing quite fond of you, Korey. You’re really living up to the Gaines name. YOUR FAMILY IS SO PROUD OF YOU, KOREY. Your sister… your shell of a man father… all your cousins; all of em. Even the old half crippled piece of trash that works your neighborhood hardware store. He thinks you’re the fucking man. HE’S WRONG. Paulie’s the fucking man around here now. I didn’t want to wait until Sunday to show the hard working folks of Central Oklahoma who the real Korey Gaines is. So… we boarded that flight 2 deep… but we’re coming back with company! This is my real ULTIMATE OPPORTUNITY..

[Behind Paulie, Jack Diddly strokes the hair of the masked prisoner. If the restraints were not in place MAYBE this story would be different, but unfortunately it’s not. Jack Diddly slowly, exaggerating time, lifts the hood from the individual in captivity, and her flowing hair springs as it touches her shoulders. As the cameras pan up, revealing the smeared red lipstick and collar of the woman, her shreiks of “Korey, HELP ME!” echo through the abandoned building, but are muffled by it’s structure to where it’s audio will not spread to the nearby surrounding industrial park. Identity now revealed, it’s Katherine Gaines. Korey Gaines MOTHER.]

KATHERINE: Help somebody help me please! KOREY HELP M….

[Placing his hand over her mouth, Jack Diddly is subject to a deep bite from Katherine. As he jerks back in writhing pain, Paulie smirks and addresses her..]

PAUL: Well, well… Is there a Mr. Gaines…. Mrs. Gaines?



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