MATCH PROMO Pew Pew Pew...

Jack Ripley

Straight Shooter
EAW ROSTER
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#1
Cam it would seem that you and I are intertwined within the fabric of wrestling. Forever fighting, always hating each other, never leaving each other alone. Every single time I seem to do something good in my life you're always right behind me trying to fuck it up. As fate would have it, here you are. I win the Pure Championship and who has to try and shit all over my parade? Cameron Ella Ava the resident sad sack of EAW. Were my Tag Team Championships not enough? You have to come for everything I try to have now? Was trying to steal the number one contendership not enough? No; it's never enough for a selfish piece of shit Ava, because that's all you know how to operate. Glom onto others peoples success and get lucky. Remember that Tag Team Championship match? The one that David broke the pin up for yet the referee just so happens to keep counting? Clearly a conspiracy trying to get the titles off of us because there was no other way that those titles were ever leaving our grasps. Then we have our little number one contenders match for the Answers World Championship not that long ago. This time, lady luck was not on your side, and I was able to get rid of you quite easily. Such as it should be each and every single time, but no. You have some sort of guardian angel keeping you from harms way. Though you may be down, you're never out, because if Ava's know one thing; it's getting shit they don't actually deserve. So when you "beat me" to get this match this week, after my shoulder was clearly up.. I wasn't surprised. Wow, an Ava getting her way yet again? It's like clockwork. It's how you got your spousal abuse match last year, it's how you got those Tag Team Championships, hell it's how you got your Hall of Fame ring. You have a golden horseshoe lodged straight up your asshole, and it's so stuck up there it's never coming out apparently. So you transform into the black cat of EAW with all 9 lives fully intact after years and years of hardship. But somehow even with all this on your side you manage to fuck it up. Cam you could've been standing right here next to me as I spoke these words today to someone else, but you decided to say no to the 1%, and why? Pride? You didn't think that you'd be able to stack up with us and actually be shown as the overrated piece of shit that you've always been?

That's it isn't it? Fear. You were stricken with fear that you would be anything other than greater than, and that fear took over you. For so long you've been Cam, the golden goose of the Women's division. How that happened I don't have the faintest idea. But you have stayed on top of that division for around 10 years now, with no slowing down. But honestly it's not that difficult when at the point in time that you started the Women's division was nothing more than a bathroom break, and something for 13 year olds to jerk off to. But, as one of the Mothers of Women's wrestling here, you were given a lifetime pass of it being ok to be mediocre. And let's not forget that golden horseshoe up your corn hole. How you've been able to trick the fans into thinking you're actually worthy of a Hall of Fame, ring.. Hell how you have actually convinced you're worthy of still being employed here is beyond me. And now I here that you're actually training someone now? Clara Lovelace? Who the fuck is that? Well, my heart goes out for that girl whoever she is, because she's in for a rude awakening with Cameron Ella Ava as her trainer. I'm sure that girl has no fucking clue what she's doing, especially now that Cam has gotten a hold of her. There is no way in hell that kid is going to have any resemblance of success here in EAW, and we can all thank Cam for that. You're the biggest con artist that EAW has ever seen Cam. The people that you align yourself with are the ones that actually brought you to prominence. You've never once been able to do this by yourself. That is why I have never actually seen you get a clean win before. It's always some screwed up finish or some partner of yours helping you out. I know you know about people running in and ruining matches all too well, don't you Cam. Don't think I've forgotten that you ruined my match against Rex McAllister in the semi finals of King of Elite. I should've been the one to go onto the finals, and claim the crown for myself. But nooooo, Cameron Ella Ava can't see the Rip Daddy actually get any shine. Why are you always forcing yourself into my life. As a matter of fact Cam I'll steal a quote straight from you, and use it on you "Why are you so obsessed with me?" Pew Pew Pew.. Shooting you down bitch.

I am 100% focused on this match Cameron, while you? Eh, seems like you're more interested in your Mom's sex life. I don't know what kind of relationship you two have, but that's pretty gross Cam o lam. You should probably stop thinking about DDD fucking your Mom, and think more about getting kicked in the face by the Rip Daddy. I don't need the 1% to beat you. I've beaten you without them before, and I'll do it again. You can bring whoever you want.. Consuela, Clara, Camille.. Fucking C's... Why do you only hang out with people with C names.. Is it because you're a cunt? Got it. Anyways Cam, you may think you're ready for this match; but based on that bullshit last time, I know what I'm getting myself into, and the simple answer is not much. I am more motivated to beat the shit out of Cameron Ella Ava than ever before.. Crazy I know, because I'm always down to beat the shit out of some Ava ass. Not literally you sick freak. After this match though; after they've peeled you off the match, that's it. I'm done with this Ava bullshit. You get no more matches, you get no more air time with me; I'm done with you. I will no longer be this vessel that you use in order to keep your relevancy up, because honestly this whole show get's boring. Hopefully you get the message and go back to where you belong.. Empire. I can guarantee I'll never come running over that pile of shit. But yeah, pew pew pew, I'm gonna fuck you up.
 

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