MATCH PROMO Punchline (Voltage #2 - Grand Prix)


The narrative Terry drives that Minerva and I are only here to give this tournament, in his words, a ‘little dose of romance’ has gotta be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Romance has never been the main worry for either of us, and I thought I already made that clear last time, when I said plain and simple that regardless of how people want to interpret our relationship, one things for certain, and that’s that we are here in this tournament for a very common purpose, and that’s to fight. And I promise you, there’s nothing ‘romantic’ about that. We’re here to destroy, we’re here to decimate and we’re here to beat people up, but I shouldn’t even have to bring that up in the first place because let me ask you something Terry. Even if we did have an explicitly super romantic relationship like the one you describe, WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH? Both you and TLA ran your mouths on and on about Minerva and I’s relationship, and how we’re such a ‘weird couple’ to you, but you wanna know what I call ‘weird’? You wanna know what I find pathetic? A guy who tries to carry himself like a tough, ruthless badass by naming himself shit like ‘The Barbaric Carnivore’ but then starts getting so bothered by other people’s romantic life that he feels the need to openly rant about it. I mean, is this seriously what Terry Chambers has become? I’m actually not even as disappointed in you as I am in myself for thinking that you were gonna give me something more, because looking back, I should have seen this mediocrity coming from a mile away. Shame on me for expecting more from a dude who went from a motivated badass to a lover boy best known for spending his most recent Pain for Pride making out with a girl after he got his ass kicked. You still try to act like you’re a warrior Terry, but everybody who knows you can clearly see that ever since the end of last season, all you’ve been reduced to is being Consuela Rose Ava’s bitch.

Really though, WE are the ones without a purpose? Are you kidding me? Aren’t you two the joke of a tag team that came together for the sake of ‘bringing the good back to the Corona name’ or whatever? And you can come back at me by saying that that shit is all a joke but that right there is a problem in itself. It’s why I just called you guys a ‘joke of a tag team’. Everything about you guys is a joke. Your motivations, your words, your actions. They’re all downright laughable, yet somehow you’ve convinced yourself that MY team is the one without a purpose, even though both Minerva and I have clearly stated our multitude of motivations countless times already. And unlike you guys, all those motivations that we have are actually meaningful. They aren’t there for the jokes or the comedy, they’re there because that’s what we believe in. And hey, didn’t you even straight up admit that your initial sign up was for 'the shits and giggles’? It doesn’t matter if over time you started taking it more seriously, the bottom line is that you can’t be accusing other ACTUAL partnerships of having ‘no purpose’ when you, yourself signed up for the fun of it. Honestly, we all know after you lose this week, you and TLA will forget about each other's friendships in a few months anyway, so that’s why I don’t consider you two a true partnership. But Minerva and I? Even in an imperfect world where we somehow lose the tournament, we’ll still be supporting each other through and through, we’ll still be rooting for one another and we’ll still be close. That’s where the difference lies. It’s why we will advance, while you guys will be forced to go pursue your dreams of advertising Corona’s in catering where both those beverages AND your team truly belong, because as far as I’m concerned, you guys WERE once relevant during the Brand Warfare period, but now all that has changed, because TLA’s just a few weeks away from his impending loss to Drake, and Terry, well, you went from being in your girlfriend’s shadow to being in your amigo’s, so that’s not much of an improvement at all either. But, you say this’ll be a warning shot, right man? You say that after this match I will be dodging you for the rest of the season. I say fine. Bring it on. Give me your best shot, but I’m telling you right now, if you plan on making me fear you, you’re barking up the wrong tree. You can hurt me but you can NEVER make me cower my man, because the harder you hit, the harder I’ll always come back. It’s as simple as that.

And you remember what I said just a bit earlier about TLA and Terry going their separate ways in a few months? Well, it seems our Poon leader has doubled down on that and proved my point for me because even he admitted that he aims to face Terry later down the line when they both gun for that damn World Championship. I truly do appreciate his accidental backing of my point, however, I would like to take this moment to say this is exactly why I don’t respect people like you two who only care for those championships above all else. You both are so laser focused on that shit that you’re ALREADY preparing for the day where the hombres find themselves gunning for the same prize. It makes me question your loyalties, because if TLA's already thinking about his future potential match with Mr. Chambers, it makes me wonder if he has ulterior motives in this tag team run. Terry, if I were you I’d keep eyes on the back of my head when you’re tagged in and TLA’s on the apron, cause from what his words imply, he might be scouting you out and searching for your weaknesses while you fight for him. But hey, who am I to instigate? I’m not saying TLA is a rat who could be using you and tricking you into thinking that he is your friend, I’m not saying that at all. All I’m saying is that... Maybe the Hombres are showing some symptoms of an actual virus being amongst them, and I’m not talking Corona. But regardless of what people’s motives are, I do know for sure that people like TLA ain’t here to give it anything less than their best and although that’s something I can respect about him, I’ve just about gotten tired of constantly listening to him reiterate it while jumbling in new mexican lingo or even a few inspirational quotes here and there. It’s like that’s all TLA promos are good for. He says a few lines about his opponents but then goes back to talking about himself and how much of a hard worker he is or how he never gives up. All those cliche lines are admirable, don’t get me wrong, but come the fuck on. It's getting old. You’ve been here for years TLA, I promise you we know how you roll. You ain’t gotta keep bringing it up over and over and over again because honestly, it stops mattering after a while. A driven mindset is nice, but it only takes you so far when you don’t have the skill to back it up and it only takes you so far when you come face to face with a man like me. Because you can be the most motivated motherfucker in the world, but when you’re outclassed, that shit doesn’t mean anything.

Terry said that he already hears people undermining the Corona Hombres as ‘first round exits’ and what not, but guess what? All those people are 100% right. All that doubt that people have in you two is justified, because it’s the truth. We have the bigger backlog of achievement, we have the greater bond, we have everything over you. You can blame people for underestimating you because there's no doubt in my mind that you WILL in fact give us a hell of a fight, but that’s just about the highest you’ll go in terms of success because you’ll throw a few punches, you’ll get a few close falls, but at the end of the day, we’ll still kick your asses and walk straight into the next round. And that right there, that ain’t a ‘pipedream’ Terry, it's the reality that you both fear. The reality that is approaching you two way faster and sooner than you expected. You won’t have to like it, you won’t even have to tolerate it, but you WILL have to experience it, because my friends, we were once brothers in arms, but now that you’re on the opposite side of the pistol, I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger. At Voltage, the Corona Hombres DIE at our hands. Because like I said earlier, you guys are just a bunch of jokes, but that's okay cause we'll be your punchline.

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