MATCH PROMO Stinky & The Brawn [Showdown I]

Archimedes J. Manson

God's Gag Gift to Sports Entertainment
EAW ROSTER
Messages
136
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Location
The Divided States of Hysteria
#1
We open on what is clearly a pair of hand puppets being used to show off the elaborate laboratory set that comes complete with a cage and everything. A cage is needed because there are two lab mice puppets that have been crafted in the image of Provencal and Mammoth.

It doesn't hurt that they are labeled as such either with the fake merchandising t-shirts that these puppets are wearing.

The vocalization talents "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson are on full display as he's likely beneath the surface of this whole puppet show and he makes sure to indicate the tall-bucktoothed lab mouse with the high pitched voice is Stinky, while the smaller and more plump lab mouse gets the growly voice as The Brawn.

Stinky: "Sacre Bleu, Brawn! What are ve going to do tonight, yes?!"

The Brawn: "The same thing we do every night, Stinky. Try to become relevant."

Some familiar but slightly modified music kicks in so that copyright people don't swarm on the EAW and Archimedes J. Manson runs right into his opening number.

It's Stinky & The Brawn
Yes, Stinky & The Brawn
One is Useless and the Other's Just Wrong.

To Prove Their Wrestling Worth.
They'll Lose To A Hilarious Jerk.
They're Stinky, They're Stinky and The Brawn

Brawn, Brawn, Brawn, Brawn...

With the intro out of the way, we go right back into the action packed conversation between these two annoying puppets.

Stinky: "Oh no, Brawny! I don't think I know anything about wrestling! Is that what's happening?"

The Brawn: "Yes, Stinky. We're wrestling in a few days. We're going up against the Chaotic Comedian..."

Stinky: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Brawn: "... What are you doing?"

Stinky: "Um. Laughing?"

The Brawn: "Why? Did I say something funny?"

Stinky: "Well, no, Brawnson. But! I know how useless I am when it comes to actually doing anything even remotely effective in the ring. And you, well, you're kind of just big and dumb so..."

The Brawn: "The Brawn doesn't know what you're talking about."

Stinky: "Exactly!"

The Brawn GORES Stinky so hard that the puppet comes off Archimedes J. Manson's hand.

The Brawn: "The Brawn will murder everyone in his way! Rar! RAAARRRRRR!"

Archimedes J. Manson's hand returns from beneath the set with a giant mallet in hand. It takes aim at the victory posing The Brawn puppet and starts beating it to death with the squeaky mallet that eventually puts The Brawn out of its misery.

Moments later, The Animaniac rises from performing his impromptu puppet show. His lips are curled up into a wide grin and he waggles his eyebrows at the camera.

Archimedes J. Manson: "Greetings and Salutations! Tis I! The Hilarious One! Back with another exciting conversational piece for YOU to dissect and read between the lines of. That's right, I'm going to give you all the thrills, chills and spills that you don't get when you waste your precious life moments listening to Provencal or Mammoth. You don't get those minutes back, people. You just don't."

Archimedes J. Manson stands all the way up and throws the cheap set off to the side. He adjusts his purple and green suit, wiping away dust particles from it. He even goes so far as to spin the rainbow colored bow tie he's wearing as well.

Archimedes J. Manson: "Since my arrival here in the EAW, I've been the funniest thing since riced bread. And let me tell you, rice flavored bread is not exactly a laughing matter. It's a healthy substance that all you growing boys and girls need. Which, well, means that you all need me. The EAW needs a lot more fun and excitement! It needs a lot less of... big strong burly dudes that want to come in and 'wreck everything' or 'destroy everyone' or 'change their name to havoc and let slip of the hot dogs of war'. From where I'm standing, y'know on the Stage of Greatness, there needs to be a lot less of that whole thing. Everyone's a beast. Everyone's a monster. Everyone can beat your ass."

Archimedes J. Manson YAWNS. It's overdramatic on purpose.

Archimedes J. Manson: "BOOOORRRRRIIIIIIIIIIING!"

Archimedes J. Manson heads away from the broken puppet show set and just walks and talks, the camera following and keeping up with him.

Archimedes J. Manson: "But that's why you all have me. The Animaniac! The Sultan of Shenanigans! God's Gag Gift to Sports Entertainment! I'm here to prove to everyone that entertainment value trumps angry and stupid every time. Starting with this Triple Scoop Match on Showdown."

Archimedes J. Manson ticks off on his fingers.

Archimedes J. Manson: "Provencal. You're almost as hilarious as I am. I love that you know exactly what you're worth and you prove that every time you step into the ring. It's going to be fun times at the el royale come Showdown, Frenchie. I'd say we're going to have to work together to skin the Mammoth buuuuut... I'm already going to be doing most of the heavy lifting so you just lay down and get pinned by me, that'd be great. I've got bigger fish to fry and the EAW Universe is hungry. Starving. Famished, even!"

Archimedes J. Manson ticks off his second finger.

Archimedes J. Manson: "Mammoth! What can I say to you, Angry Beaver? Not much that you'll actually be able to understand. You strike me as the kind of guy that only understands violence. The kind of guy that only knows how to BORE his opponents. Fear the BORE. The BORE will get you. Ooooo. Scary. No, seriously. It is. I can tell you right now that I don't want to be BORED to Death. Or BORED to Tears. Or BORED out of my Mind. Which is why I'm going to have to bring a couple extra Punchlines to Showdown this week. Just for you, Scootaloo. Just. For. You."

Archimedes J. Manson gives another grin at the camera as it looks like he's about to wrap this up.

Archimedes J. Manson: "So what happens now? Where do we go from here? Do we keep on trading Barb for better, Stranger Things? Do I keep trying to figure out where you two numbskulls rate on the Who-Care-O-Meter? Or do I save the rest of my material for Showdown where I'll be able to deliver these jokes first hand? So many questions to consider and yet, there's one last inquiry that I must ask! I must know! I need an answer, even!"

This is the part where the camera zooms all in because we're going for a possible catch phrase attempt, here. Get ready, kids.

Archimedes J. Manson: "Which one of you is going to get... The Last Laugh?"

Ugh. Okay, that's going to need some work. Rate/Review/Like/Subscribe and Ring The Bell to get Notified of WHEN THIS FOOL GETS A BETTER CATCH PHRASE.

Deuces.
 

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