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The camera cuts to TLA wearing ninja gear outside the Strong Style Buffet restaurant in Shanghai, China. TLA is in the midst of a daring rescue operation and will require the utmost stealth in order to pull it off. Unlike with most places similarly named to this restaurant failure is not an option.
TLA: Yo I be creepin’. I be lurkin’ they ain’t even see shit. Bringin’ that border crossin’ stealth straight into China ya heard? Got a Great Wall even that ain’t keepin’ me out Trump best take them notes.
TLA slips around the back of the restaurant and sneaks into the kitchen ducking down beneath the counters so the cooks do not see him.
Cook: We shall cook the most delicious delicacy here tonight! I will be licking my lips from side to side as we consume this sacred beast! Prepare the meat!
TLA: These sick putos...
The camera fades upwards as TLA sneaks past the counter and notices Steroid Dawg lying asleep atop the counter. The Chinese cook is shown dumping rice and noodles onto Steroid Dawg with a hungry look in his eyes.
Cook: Sooooon. SOOOOOON! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!
A chihuahua is shown spinning as it is cooked above a fire in the corner of the kitchen. TLA looks on with sadness as he prays to Allah to take the perro to paradise where it may bang 72 virgin dogs of all species for eternity.
TLA: You have gone too far pendejo!!! Prepare to die!
TLA throws a pot of boiling water at the Chinese cook as he screams. Some of the water lands on Steroid Dawg who wakes up and looks around trying to figure out what just went down.
TLA: RUN STEROID DAWG! RUNNNNNNNNNN!!!
Steroid Dawg tears a chunk out the leg of the Chinese cook as he darts through the doors out into the restaurant knocking over a customer’s table and sending food flying. Loud barking is heard as the customers all run for they lives as Steroid Dawg charges through eating Chinese people as revenge for his fallen comrades.
TLA: Justice has been served.
TLA delicately lifts up the charred chihuahua into his arms cradling it gently. TLA carries the sacred animal outside and gives it a proper burial as befits such a noble creature. TLA then kneels down to pray.
TLA: It is only appropriate now that I say a few words. It was not for long that I knew thee. Yet I believe that in some way your sacrifice was what led me to saving Steroid Dawg from the threat which has faced us all today. I know now that even in death will you will still be watching over me my love in my title match this week on Showdown against Daryl Kinkade. You must give me guidance, and give me strength. Praise Allah.
TLA places a ticket to the Poon Palace atop the grave of the chihuahua out of respect.
TLA: Much blessings I be receivin’. Much luv also. I be all up in that No Way Out match. I got the gold motherfuckers. I got it all. Shit be lookin’ straight up for La Pantera Sexual as he rolls on thru in China. I am taking on an up and coming star in Daryl Kinkade for my championship this week, and imma be taking him on again in that No Way Out match assuming we ain’t kill each other this week and we both make it there. See I give cero fucks if Daryl deserves this title shot, if he deserves that No Way Out match spot. Cuz if he doesn’t he gonna be taken out with the quickness and it’s gonna be a long ass time until he get that opportunity to prove he self again. Daryl pissin’ off the haters gettin’ endorsements from Rex McAllister n shit. Pero he ain’t got my endorsement. Not yet anyway. Imma be withholding that judgment until I be seein’ what he can do in that ring personally. Sure I can watch all them tapes and talk mad shit if I wanted to, but why bother when you can see what shit be all about for yo self? I saw Daryl earlier, goin’ over all he haters online. They mad he gettin’ this shot. Why the mad tho? They mad that someone they feel more deserving ain’t getting it instead. Fuck they even mad that I ain’t be pullin’ rank and refusing to take this match. But anyone who knows me knows that ain’t my style. I take on anyone, anytime, anywhere.
Por siempre.
TLA: Imma give Daryl’s haters a nice present tho. When I whip he ass they ain’t gonna care how hard he went, how close he came, or how lucky I got. They just gonna see that I handed him that L and that will be enough to justify they hate. That hate gonna keep growin’ and follow he culo on up into the No Way Out match where his haters will be out in full force doubtin’ that he can get the job done. Ain’t even personal tho. I just want this championship. I just won it, this is my first defense and I ain’t lookin’ to drop it that quickly. Like I said before this match got them stakes. They raised up high as fuck and imma be beastin’ and feastin’ as hard and as fast as The Baddest Hombre on the Planet can do. I respect that Daryl Kinkade gonna be tryna fight to prove he ain’t just here cuz Rex McAllister say so. Gettin’ that W this week would sure do just that, cuz I’ve faced Rex McAllister before multiple times and he ain’t never beat me. You can try all you want to be different than yo maestro, but trust yo boi one fuck up and shit gonna turn out exactly the same.
Like teacher like student.
TLA opens the trunk of his lowrider as Steroid Dawg hops inside. TLA speeds away as Chinese chefs chase after the vehicle with cleavers. Steroid Dawg has survived another day in China… for now.
TLA: Yo I be creepin’. I be lurkin’ they ain’t even see shit. Bringin’ that border crossin’ stealth straight into China ya heard? Got a Great Wall even that ain’t keepin’ me out Trump best take them notes.
TLA slips around the back of the restaurant and sneaks into the kitchen ducking down beneath the counters so the cooks do not see him.
Cook: We shall cook the most delicious delicacy here tonight! I will be licking my lips from side to side as we consume this sacred beast! Prepare the meat!
TLA: These sick putos...
The camera fades upwards as TLA sneaks past the counter and notices Steroid Dawg lying asleep atop the counter. The Chinese cook is shown dumping rice and noodles onto Steroid Dawg with a hungry look in his eyes.
Cook: Sooooon. SOOOOOON! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!
A chihuahua is shown spinning as it is cooked above a fire in the corner of the kitchen. TLA looks on with sadness as he prays to Allah to take the perro to paradise where it may bang 72 virgin dogs of all species for eternity.
TLA: You have gone too far pendejo!!! Prepare to die!
TLA throws a pot of boiling water at the Chinese cook as he screams. Some of the water lands on Steroid Dawg who wakes up and looks around trying to figure out what just went down.
TLA: RUN STEROID DAWG! RUNNNNNNNNNN!!!
Steroid Dawg tears a chunk out the leg of the Chinese cook as he darts through the doors out into the restaurant knocking over a customer’s table and sending food flying. Loud barking is heard as the customers all run for they lives as Steroid Dawg charges through eating Chinese people as revenge for his fallen comrades.
TLA: Justice has been served.
TLA delicately lifts up the charred chihuahua into his arms cradling it gently. TLA carries the sacred animal outside and gives it a proper burial as befits such a noble creature. TLA then kneels down to pray.
TLA: It is only appropriate now that I say a few words. It was not for long that I knew thee. Yet I believe that in some way your sacrifice was what led me to saving Steroid Dawg from the threat which has faced us all today. I know now that even in death will you will still be watching over me my love in my title match this week on Showdown against Daryl Kinkade. You must give me guidance, and give me strength. Praise Allah.
TLA places a ticket to the Poon Palace atop the grave of the chihuahua out of respect.
TLA: Much blessings I be receivin’. Much luv also. I be all up in that No Way Out match. I got the gold motherfuckers. I got it all. Shit be lookin’ straight up for La Pantera Sexual as he rolls on thru in China. I am taking on an up and coming star in Daryl Kinkade for my championship this week, and imma be taking him on again in that No Way Out match assuming we ain’t kill each other this week and we both make it there. See I give cero fucks if Daryl deserves this title shot, if he deserves that No Way Out match spot. Cuz if he doesn’t he gonna be taken out with the quickness and it’s gonna be a long ass time until he get that opportunity to prove he self again. Daryl pissin’ off the haters gettin’ endorsements from Rex McAllister n shit. Pero he ain’t got my endorsement. Not yet anyway. Imma be withholding that judgment until I be seein’ what he can do in that ring personally. Sure I can watch all them tapes and talk mad shit if I wanted to, but why bother when you can see what shit be all about for yo self? I saw Daryl earlier, goin’ over all he haters online. They mad he gettin’ this shot. Why the mad tho? They mad that someone they feel more deserving ain’t getting it instead. Fuck they even mad that I ain’t be pullin’ rank and refusing to take this match. But anyone who knows me knows that ain’t my style. I take on anyone, anytime, anywhere.
Por siempre.
TLA: Imma give Daryl’s haters a nice present tho. When I whip he ass they ain’t gonna care how hard he went, how close he came, or how lucky I got. They just gonna see that I handed him that L and that will be enough to justify they hate. That hate gonna keep growin’ and follow he culo on up into the No Way Out match where his haters will be out in full force doubtin’ that he can get the job done. Ain’t even personal tho. I just want this championship. I just won it, this is my first defense and I ain’t lookin’ to drop it that quickly. Like I said before this match got them stakes. They raised up high as fuck and imma be beastin’ and feastin’ as hard and as fast as The Baddest Hombre on the Planet can do. I respect that Daryl Kinkade gonna be tryna fight to prove he ain’t just here cuz Rex McAllister say so. Gettin’ that W this week would sure do just that, cuz I’ve faced Rex McAllister before multiple times and he ain’t never beat me. You can try all you want to be different than yo maestro, but trust yo boi one fuck up and shit gonna turn out exactly the same.
Like teacher like student.
TLA opens the trunk of his lowrider as Steroid Dawg hops inside. TLA speeds away as Chinese chefs chase after the vehicle with cleavers. Steroid Dawg has survived another day in China… for now.
