- Messages
- 770
- Points
- 93
[A late-night adult-themed TV infomercial cut/bit pictures a naked Impact clad with the World Heavyweight Championship covering his expensively insured phallus - aptly dubbed "The White Mamba" - in a cavernous bathroom with various crystals bedazzled in the tiled walls as he continues dancing and snapping his fingers to the tune of "Do for Love" by Tupac featuring vocals from the great Bobby Caldwell's 1978 classic "What You Won't Do for Love," no doubt readying for the Lavender-scented bubble bath awaiting him after a particularly trying past week in which he defended his championship against a white-hot Lethal Consequences. Impact veers to the side, unstraps the World Heavyweight Championship from his million-dollar groin and hooks it atop a nearby coat rack, and exposes to the 2 AM television audience his generously endowed, densely pixelated (censored) member. He saunters toward the spacious tub, eager to let the wounds of a week's work soak in the flowery liquid serum presented before him]
Impact: YOU TRIED EVERYTHANGGGGGG
[Utopian Disney fantasyland singing continues, on the corner of the camera's eye appears a portrait hung on the wall of Niccolo Machiavelli]
Impact: BUTTTT YOU DON'T GIVE UPPPPP
Impact: WHAT YOU WON'T DOOOOOOOOOO
Impact: DOOOO FOR LOVEEEEEEE. HRDO, THANK U FOR THE ASSIST BABY, YOU REALLY STEVE NASH'D THAT SHIT FOR YA BOY. BIG OL RED GLUTES COME THRU IN THE CUT. I SEE YOU PATNAH. IT AIN'T OVER BY A LONG SHOT! BY A LONG SHOT!
[In the distance appears the silhouette of a scantily clad temptress, as the door the camera is peering through begins to close. As it shuts, the splashing of water and a woman's embarrassed giggle are heard]
Impact: Dam Sienna, I was waitin' all night for this tender lovin'. Bring that ass here babygurl. Boutta go to work and risk it all like this shit was the modern Lunch atop a Skyscraper. Fuck a suspension chord, we rawing it 2019 to infinity.
[The beat to "Do for Love" fades the ad out, in white letters on a black screen appears the "This ad brought to you by Karl Corp©"]
Impact: YOU TRIED EVERYTHANGGGGGG
[Utopian Disney fantasyland singing continues, on the corner of the camera's eye appears a portrait hung on the wall of Niccolo Machiavelli]
Impact: BUTTTT YOU DON'T GIVE UPPPPP
Impact: WHAT YOU WON'T DOOOOOOOOOO
Impact: DOOOO FOR LOVEEEEEEE. HRDO, THANK U FOR THE ASSIST BABY, YOU REALLY STEVE NASH'D THAT SHIT FOR YA BOY. BIG OL RED GLUTES COME THRU IN THE CUT. I SEE YOU PATNAH. IT AIN'T OVER BY A LONG SHOT! BY A LONG SHOT!
[In the distance appears the silhouette of a scantily clad temptress, as the door the camera is peering through begins to close. As it shuts, the splashing of water and a woman's embarrassed giggle are heard]
Impact: Dam Sienna, I was waitin' all night for this tender lovin'. Bring that ass here babygurl. Boutta go to work and risk it all like this shit was the modern Lunch atop a Skyscraper. Fuck a suspension chord, we rawing it 2019 to infinity.
[The beat to "Do for Love" fades the ad out, in white letters on a black screen appears the "This ad brought to you by Karl Corp©"]
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