Recent content by Jesse Barlow

What are you retarded? Why do I have to spell simple shit out for you? Bro, you literally wanted to keep this shit a secret, why you lying? You know what grooming is? Yeah, we all know you were grooming poor Andrea so that you could give her that little pecker of yours. You saw that "hot"...

YO MYLES! First off you cuck ass bitch, fuck you and your bitch dumbass. I know you slamming that barely legal pussy on the side you ginger fuck. I know you can't resist that Mexican pussy, you aren't about that pale ass Vampire cunt right? Don't worry I'm sure that Mexican bitch will be around...

Ight lets just be real with each other.. Minerva, you're a whore. A cock sucking, good for nothing whore. Don't try to make profound proclamations that aren't worth shit. We see how you are, and it would mean so much more, if you weren't just good for sucking dick. That's it. It's clear to me...

Jesus fucking christ bro, why the fuck do you keep giving me these no name, useless pieces of shit? I'm trying up my stock and be seen as the star that I am. Who the fuck cares if I beat bumble fuck no name from who gives a fuck? I sure as fuck don't. I've been doing the same shit for like a...

Apparently I have a match this week against some nobody jerk off that I couldn't give two shits about. Cool cool, so instead of getting title matches I have to face people that won't be in the company by next week. I'm about to go into Captain Charismas office and rip his $20 suit off of his...

ight I'll just start it off like this; plain and simple I fucked up. Now you won't go hearing Jesse Barlow saying that often, but I'll take the L on this one. Teaming with Korey Gaines was literally the worst decision of my life, and I've been to prison multiple times. I'll take prison over...

updated theme song

Let's be real, straight up, 100 with each other; the tag team division fucking sucks. It sucks now, it sucked back to whenever you want to go back to, and it will forever suck. The tag team division is nothing more than a breeding ground for glory chasing masturbaters, and useless pieces of shit...

Don't get it twisted, I'm the prettiest mothefucker in all of EAW. Now whether that is in the ring, or my perfectly sculpted face it doesn't matter. And that's what I think the problem here is. These fucking virgin whores.. I'm not going to explain that one, but these fucking virgin whores think...

I swear to God bro the deeper down the rabbit hole we got the less talented they get. How many fucking Ava's do we have to have around here polluting the air? This one doesn't even fucking win, she's just a pair of fake tits, and a fake ass getting the best wrestling training possible...

Bro I just have to say, yet again Parental Advisory has to face off against some random pairing that have nothing to do with each other. Once again we're probably being looked at as just a throwaway for something bigger. But fuck that I dont give a fuck if we lost to the overrated group that...

Favorite Match: The Brand Warfare match Favorite Moment: Being bias Team Voltage winning, and Parental Advisory winning Most Shocking Moment: Sosa winning da title Who Had The Best/Worst Night?: Sosa had a good night, Team Voltage had a good night. Team Showdown had a bad night bruh...

You know it's funny bitch boy; you started this team on a whim because of us and all of a sudden thought you deserved something because of it. Now your little partner is dead, which quite frankly was a service to this entire fucking company in the first place. So what do you do? No problem, I'll...

Ayyy well because you asked so nicely you fucking pleb, let me tell you EXACTLY what it's like to be successful in tag teams, as I am the guru. See, tag team wrestling is about knowing who your partner is, the in's the outs, and all that shit. Now most the time jamokes will think that you have...

I never knew it was so easy to be handed shit for no reason; I mean I wouldn’t know because Jesse Barlow has legit has had to earn everything that he has ever gotten. Then I was introduced to Donovan Duke, and Connor Ryan. Does anyone remember how all of this started? Parental Advisory became a...