Search results

  1. Impact

    MATCH PROMO Whole 'lotta nothing.

    The first time I realized I wanted to become a wrestler was when I was 13 years old. My father took me to a local wrestling show in our hometown of Seattle - the good version of Seattle before the hippies and homeless people took over, and I was blown away by the crazy characters that presented...
  2. Impact


    “Pinche gabacho, pinche gabacho, pinche gabacho!” TLA’s entire career, summed up in one simple phrase. Ain’t nobody give a fuck about you because you’re *you*, hoe-ass bitch. Sympathy and pity, fuckboy, it ain’t nothing else. Garbage ass curtain jerkers who haven’t done a goddamn thing their...
  3. Impact

    MATCH PROMO Politics As Usual

    Aye TLA, I'ma be straight with you, cuzzo, Ion give a a shit about anything you just said nor do I feel remotely inspired to clap back to it. I am, bar none, the greatest champion this company has ever seen and will ever see. In your lifetime, in little TLA Jr.'s lifetime, in your aunts and...
  4. Impact

    MATCH PROMO I think of crime when I'm in the EAW state of mind

    Know something? You're absolutely right, TLA. At Battle of Egypt, you aren't competing to defeat the legend or to try and overcome and conquer the tales of all my past glorious conquests. But I already knew that shit. I've been kicking knowledge on you Urkels this entire year, and without fail...
  5. Impact


    That resurgence you're looking for is exactly what I've already fucking done you limp-dicked low-t troglodyte. I've been running through fires my entire career, surviving it all, emerging unscathed and capable of wielding that fire because I had the guts to overcome and rise beyond it...
  6. Impact

    MATCH PROMO Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat to Romans while Jesus slept?

    Disappearing and reappearing act? Fuck are you on about, Darkane? Cockboy, I've been present on nearly every show in at least some capacity for the majority of the year. I guess I wouldn't expect you to understand the true definition of a "disappearing and reappearing act" since that shit...
  7. Impact

    Who was your character trained by?

    Or where
  8. Impact

    What's your favorite candy?

    Asking in the spirit of Halloween, but I'ma keep it a buck and say my favorite are the white Reese's eggs. Just feels like the peanut butter to chocolate ratio is more lopsided toward the good shit (the peanut butter), and that's what I dig. I fuck with some twin snakes, Rip's Licorice pieces...
  9. Impact

    What are some other pic bases you could envision for yourself?

    :geek: And character ideas you might have for them, if the pic base necessitates a change from your character's current direction??
  10. Impact


    Everybody, meet Drake King. EAW, meet Drake King, the chosen one to usher in EAW's next generation and provide the face for all of EAW's posters. Meet Drake King, a one-dimensional hand-picked favorite who has bent over backwards so his corporate masters could fuck him in the ass and quid pro...
  11. Impact

    MATCH PROMO They say it's lonely at the top in whatever you do, you always gotta watch motherfuckers around you

    From beast mode to bitch mode. You hate to see it. Drake, I don't know if I'm the first wrestler to ever tell you this, but responding to literally everything your opponent says as if you are categorically sifting through it in a file cabinet does not a winner make. I drop a line and it's like...
  12. Impact


    Drake, pal, boi, guy, booboo, I’m starting to wonder if your efforts this week are really in an attempt to insult the audience’s intelligence or if you’re actually just that oblivious to reality. Talking about me overstaying my welcoming and cracking jokes about my “seniority” has nothing to do...
  13. Impact

    MATCH PROMO Drake King fears Impact

    Drake, baby, you're going to have to finish ya mama's baked beans and eggplant celery casserole before you start firing at me. Weren't you ever taught not to talk while your mouth is full? I don't care that you don't have as many accomplishments as me. People with fewer accomplishments than me...
  14. Impact

    MATCH PROMO No Vaseline

    Bitchboy, who gassed you? Who thrust you into this position? Who revved your engine with your whip in park and thought you could race with me? You ain't got to go home, but you gotta get your little Fast and Furious ass the hell up outta here. There's this little narrative from the same machine...
  15. Impact

    MATCH PROMO Eternal sunshine, in this elevated world of mine.

    Externally I am seen as a confident leader, a king of all sorts, who is leading a pack of hopefuls who one day wish to be me. I paint a picture of my brand to foreign foes who have a clear vision of the company that I run due to my professional appearance, my perfect in-ring ability, and my...
  16. Impact

    What makes you go?

    What motivates you? What's your reason to get out of bed in the morning and do what you do?
  17. Impact

    CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT The White Mamba Rides Again

    [A late-night adult-themed TV infomercial cut/bit pictures a naked Impact clad with the World Heavyweight Championship covering his expensively insured phallus - aptly dubbed "The White Mamba" - in a cavernous bathroom with various crystals bedazzled in the tiled walls as he continues dancing...
  18. Impact

    MATCH PROMO I been A1 since day one, you e-fedders boo boo

    Lethal Consequences, paraphrased: "Yeah, I'm a piece of shit who doesn't deserve it, and I'm gonna leave EAW high and dry again at some point, but right now I'm in a World Championship match so nothing else matters. Let's drink to awarding mediocrity!" You've talked about the fact none of your...
  19. Impact

    MATCH PROMO Life After Death

    Oh, nah, I'm not talking to that Lethal Consequences. I'm not typecasting Lethal Consequences for being a colossal failure years and years ago. I'm talking to this Lethal Consequences, the wrestler that's been back a year and rode his biggest claim to fame that I screwed him against former World...
  20. Impact

    MATCH PROMO VHS on a CRT with the scanlines

    "I need this more than you do" It ain't ripped verbatim, but it sure as shit ain't far from the fever dream EAW's worst hard-luck losers have been tryin' to sell to me this past year. They're hungrier. They're more youthful, they're ready for the fight, they have the vigor and tenacity that I...