- Messages
- 238
- Points
- 93
I thought with as hyped as the Ladder Match was that I’d be facing off against like, Ximena or something in what would be a first-ever match or whatever off the heels of another which Kassidy Heart won, to keep the momentum of the division rolling or something since a match-up along those lines like that sounded nice in light of all the recent events - buuuuuut, I guess not because it looks like we’re gonna be doing anything but that! 
I sure can get a match against Xander Payne and The Visual Prophet, though, which I guess is just going to have to work for now in place of continuing to run on what more attention that was brought at Battle of Egypt when we saw six other women competing for a match against me at Pain for Pride for the Universal Women’s Championship. I’m pretty sure it goes without saying that the history shared between any of us in this match is well-documented enough to give this match literally any sort of premise to run off of and make this about whatever it could possibly be about in some kind of grab for drama in the season of the biggest show of the year, but I guess this is going to be another quick chapter between us all that gets added to all that shit we’ve already put into the history books regardless of who anyone feels it favors as things are now.
It should be fun!
I can’t say that I feel like I have to go into this like I have to prove anything to either of them in particular, because at this point, who are they supposed to be to me? The first thought there is probably that I’m either overlooking them, dismissing whatever had gone on in the past, or that I’m just caught up in using this cute Universal Women’s Championship as some kind of leverage to position myself a certain way in the match. But that’s just not true when it really comes back to what they’re supposed to be in my way of at this point. Xander prevented me from becoming the World Heavyweight Champion early on in the season, sure, but what kind of setback was that for me, really?
What did it do, specifically, to have me looking at my next moves like there wasn’t a thing that I could possibly do when I knew what was available to me? Because I still went on about my business after the fact and all I did was focus on heading to get my next opportunity, determine my next move, and sticking to that like I did from the beginning only worked out for me in a way that’s done me a whole lot of good because of what I was determined to get for myself. 
So maybe the expectation here is that I’m supposed to be trying to get a win here over Xander just because of that, but does that win Xander has or Xander himself really warrant that kind of reaction from me going into this when I’ve been doing what I have? 
I’ve really got no intention of dedicating a victory here to a previous loss like it can undo the past, plus it’s really just not like that ever and it never was for me this season - but I might as well just go ahead and take this win for what the fuck it’s gonna be because why the hell not? If StarrStan is gonna book this shit then someone has to go take the win, so it might as well be me while I’m at it and ready to go! 
Like, we’ve all already been through it together with the combined history coming into this and this is supposed to be one of those unique matches where one of us gets some kind of “final say” on any matter in particular, just for a different combination of a to come into play again before the season is even out. Between some nonsensical tag team matches that got booked at just about any time and some other shit that’s gone down before, it’s actually kind of surprising this shit didn’t happen at literally any point before this. Like, you would think this is the kind of thing that would be right up StarrStan’s alley just to stir the pot since he loves to do it like it’s his actual job as opposed to other things that could’ve been getting taken care of. 
But you know what, if this is what it’s come to and we’ve reached this point after we’ve essentially seen it all, I’ll take my chances and bring the conclusion to this in all the drama that’s gonna play out in it since I’m sure that there’s sure to be plenty to capitalize on in some form or fashion as intended when this whole little thing of past Pain for Pride main eventers got put together! 
I may not have anything to lose but there’s really on something good that could come out of this on the opposite side of that, and I can’t say that I know how it happens but I’ll figure it out for when I get there when it’s looking better than whatever the alternative could be. Just going out there, fucking shit up, getting in the way of some other well-thought-out plans or intentions only for me to get a win that’d make some statement for the night - it wouldn’t be the first fucking time I’d get to say that I was responsible for that kind of thing and this certainly wouldn’t be the last, either. 
I mean, we all saw what Xander did at Battle of Egypt, and wouldn’t it just be something to take on whatever fucking kind of rampage he’s planning on bringing to the table and still winning? 
Or whatever this shit Viz is back on where he can snap his fingers and make shit happen, like getting students in on an attack? …Well, saying it out loud now from myself and hearing it makes it sound even more like something that should probably get looked into, actually… but the point is just the absolute fucking chaos of it all that has to get dealt with. Here I am thrown in the fucking middle of it all, and while maybe for anyone else it’d be this kind of profound thing that’s happening to them because it wasn’t at all anticipated in the slightest, it’s another Friday to just take it on in a way that’s gonna benefit me. It’s really fucking ugly but that’s just how some things start out before they get to the end where the finish is something that turns out to be something to witness. I’m pretty fine saying that I really don’t care for whatever hell Xander could promise or what kind of shit Viz might want to pull, if any, because I’ve honestly dealt with these two enough to know what I could be getting into and what I’d end up having to take on while I’m ensuring my own success while I’m at it. That’s the real focus here anyway and I don’t know how it gets any more straightforward than that. I’ve seen enough, heard enough, and been through enough and while some of it has just left me rolling my eyes annoyed at times, there’s a built-up fortitude that comes with being willing to put myself through some of the shit that I have - and this is another one of those times that’s a test of serious mental patience as much as it’s gonna end up being a physical one for competing. I’m not gonna get into bullshit threats here this week just for the sake of making bullshit threats going into this as if that’s gonna help anything because it just seems really fucking unnecessary right now to me considering the circumstances, but I’ve got no problem saying that I’m just gonna do whatever the fuck I want or have to, no matter how ugly it gets when it’s just as easy to get my own hands dirty. There’s really no way around the fact that that’s how it’s going to get at some point and I’m prepared to hold myself to that to try to get what I want out of this. I really don’t have to go out of my way to exaggerate or overly dramatize the factors in all this when I look at this and know to keep in mind that it’s really just about coming away from this with a win at the end of the night at literally any cost, knowing that my perspective on things and how I chose to go about so much is how I got to this point since the end of 2021. It’s really as easy as that for me and I don’t see a reason to make it any more complicated than it has to be, even in dealing with the likes of Xander and Viz; something as simple as seeing this for what it is like that is enough for me, and that’s where I’m at.
I sure can get a match against Xander Payne and The Visual Prophet, though, which I guess is just going to have to work for now in place of continuing to run on what more attention that was brought at Battle of Egypt when we saw six other women competing for a match against me at Pain for Pride for the Universal Women’s Championship. I’m pretty sure it goes without saying that the history shared between any of us in this match is well-documented enough to give this match literally any sort of premise to run off of and make this about whatever it could possibly be about in some kind of grab for drama in the season of the biggest show of the year, but I guess this is going to be another quick chapter between us all that gets added to all that shit we’ve already put into the history books regardless of who anyone feels it favors as things are now.It should be fun!
I can’t say that I feel like I have to go into this like I have to prove anything to either of them in particular, because at this point, who are they supposed to be to me? The first thought there is probably that I’m either overlooking them, dismissing whatever had gone on in the past, or that I’m just caught up in using this cute Universal Women’s Championship as some kind of leverage to position myself a certain way in the match. But that’s just not true when it really comes back to what they’re supposed to be in my way of at this point. Xander prevented me from becoming the World Heavyweight Champion early on in the season, sure, but what kind of setback was that for me, really?
What did it do, specifically, to have me looking at my next moves like there wasn’t a thing that I could possibly do when I knew what was available to me? Because I still went on about my business after the fact and all I did was focus on heading to get my next opportunity, determine my next move, and sticking to that like I did from the beginning only worked out for me in a way that’s done me a whole lot of good because of what I was determined to get for myself. So maybe the expectation here is that I’m supposed to be trying to get a win here over Xander just because of that, but does that win Xander has or Xander himself really warrant that kind of reaction from me going into this when I’ve been doing what I have? I’ve really got no intention of dedicating a victory here to a previous loss like it can undo the past, plus it’s really just not like that ever and it never was for me this season - but I might as well just go ahead and take this win for what the fuck it’s gonna be because why the hell not? If StarrStan is gonna book this shit then someone has to go take the win, so it might as well be me while I’m at it and ready to go! Like, we’ve all already been through it together with the combined history coming into this and this is supposed to be one of those unique matches where one of us gets some kind of “final say” on any matter in particular, just for a different combination of a to come into play again before the season is even out. Between some nonsensical tag team matches that got booked at just about any time and some other shit that’s gone down before, it’s actually kind of surprising this shit didn’t happen at literally any point before this. Like, you would think this is the kind of thing that would be right up StarrStan’s alley just to stir the pot since he loves to do it like it’s his actual job as opposed to other things that could’ve been getting taken care of. But you know what, if this is what it’s come to and we’ve reached this point after we’ve essentially seen it all, I’ll take my chances and bring the conclusion to this in all the drama that’s gonna play out in it since I’m sure that there’s sure to be plenty to capitalize on in some form or fashion as intended when this whole little thing of past Pain for Pride main eventers got put together! I may not have anything to lose but there’s really on something good that could come out of this on the opposite side of that, and I can’t say that I know how it happens but I’ll figure it out for when I get there when it’s looking better than whatever the alternative could be.
Just going out there, fucking shit up, getting in the way of some other well-thought-out plans or intentions only for me to get a win that’d make some statement for the night - it wouldn’t be the first fucking time I’d get to say that I was responsible for that kind of thing and this certainly wouldn’t be the last, either. I mean, we all saw what Xander did at Battle of Egypt, and wouldn’t it just be something to take on whatever fucking kind of rampage he’s planning on bringing to the table and still winning? Or whatever this shit Viz is back on where he can snap his fingers and make shit happen, like getting students in on an attack? …Well, saying it out loud now from myself and hearing it makes it sound even more like something that should probably get looked into, actually… but the point is just the absolute fucking chaos of it all that has to get dealt with. Here I am thrown in the fucking middle of it all, and while maybe for anyone else it’d be this kind of profound thing that’s happening to them because it wasn’t at all anticipated in the slightest, it’s another Friday to just take it on in a way that’s gonna benefit me. It’s really fucking ugly but that’s just how some things start out before they get to the end where the finish is something that turns out to be something to witness. I’m pretty fine saying that I really don’t care for whatever hell Xander could promise or what kind of shit Viz might want to pull, if any, because I’ve honestly dealt with these two enough to know what I could be getting into and what I’d end up having to take on while I’m ensuring my own success while I’m at it. That’s the real focus here anyway and I don’t know how it gets any more straightforward than that. I’ve seen enough, heard enough, and been through enough and while some of it has just left me rolling my eyes annoyed at times, there’s a built-up fortitude that comes with being willing to put myself through some of the shit that I have - and this is another one of those times that’s a test of serious mental patience as much as it’s gonna end up being a physical one for competing. I’m not gonna get into bullshit threats here this week just for the sake of making bullshit threats going into this as if that’s gonna help anything because it just seems really fucking unnecessary right now to me considering the circumstances, but I’ve got no problem saying that I’m just gonna do whatever the fuck I want or have to, no matter how ugly it gets when it’s just as easy to get my own hands dirty. There’s really no way around the fact that that’s how it’s going to get at some point and I’m prepared to hold myself to that to try to get what I want out of this. I really don’t have to go out of my way to exaggerate or overly dramatize the factors in all this when I look at this and know to keep in mind that it’s really just about coming away from this with a win at the end of the night at literally any cost, knowing that my perspective on things and how I chose to go about so much is how I got to this point since the end of 2021. It’s really as easy as that for me and I don’t see a reason to make it any more complicated than it has to be, even in dealing with the likes of Xander and Viz; something as simple as seeing this for what it is like that is enough for me, and that’s where I’m at. 
