MATCH PROMO “Like Father, Like Son; We Out of Milk!” - RTR #1


The Lyrical Miracle
Chicago, Illinois
“The sound of loud music can be heard as Hunnid Honcho is seen walking around a grocery store wearing headphones as he bops his head to the music while looking around the store with no concern in the world. Suddenly Honcho stops by the refrigerators as he looks at the milk section before someone taps his shoulder. Honcho takes off his headphones and looks at the person with a confused look.”

Honcho: What’s good lil’ bro? Need some?

???: Uh, I don’t know if you’re aware or not… but you’ve been blasting your music from your phone loudly through the store for the past thirty minutes. I think your headphones might not be connected my friend…

“Honcho looks at his phone confused, as he notices his headphones not being connected. He begins to chuckle as he pauses his phone and looks at the stranger.”

Honcho: Oh, that’s hilarious! Thanks for lookin’ out for me lil’ bro, but I do have a question… see that was my music I was playing and I was wondering if you was fuckin’ with it or what. I mean this some straight up heat I’m cookin’ up for my debut mixtape “Back Like A Mothafuckin’ Crack Addict!” and I’m trynna see if the folks in the skreets fuckin’ with the Lyrical Miracles work!

???: Uhh….

Honcho: So good I left this man speechless! Hallelujah, baby Jesus! Thank ya’ Peaky Blinders lookin’ mothafucka!

“Honcho daps up the stranger and gives him a tight hug, as he hands him a autographed mixtape as the stranger quickly walks away from Honcho. Honcho goes back to the fridge to grab two gallons of milk as he turns around and notices the camera following him as he smirks and begins to speak.”

Honcho: Oh shit! Y’all folks scared me, but that’s the reminder I needed to start cookin’ for Road To Redemption seeing that ya’ boy qualified for a very special match against five other Elitist and I for one am excited to show the world what I bring to the table! So why don’t I get started and start’ spittin some facts yall way starting out with the first to fire a shot and that’s none other than Veena Adams herself! Now I know, I know; you the next big thing, you the one that’s going to walk out the winner come Road To Redemption, and everyone else in this match is beneath ya. I get it, we all do! You have to prove ya’ season so far hasn’t just been a waste of everyone’s time, and I get it sweetheart. Thing is, it won’t be easy especially after ya insulted my music and I mean c’mon THAT is a real low blow! That National Elite Championship is some we all want, but gold will not be in your future come 2023 especially with THIS time of attitude baby girl! Though what you said bout Abel Atami couldn’t be more truthful; he’s a fat fuckin’ retard, excuse my french ladies!

“Honcho flicks off the camera as he says that trying to make sure the gallons of milk don’t slip from his hand. As he does that, he smirks and speaks once again.”

Honcho: How the helm do you forget about Veena Adams when talkin’ about the big opponents in the match and then try to talk about your skill level being above MINE! Face the fact tubby, you only beat me cause Slappy Johnson and Booboo Ogawa’s circus came to town and decided to weaken me after I soloed those two damn clowns back to back! There was no argument to be have about our confrontation at No Regards as the whole world saw the screw job at No Regards; but at the end I got the same opportunity as you and I didn’t have to get it handed to me! I simply showed the world why they LOVE to hate the master of the Hip Hop Hippo Splash! Me falling to you? Nah son, the only way I’m fallin’ is from the top rope in icon fashion, NO CAP! You can compliment my rap skills son, but that ain’t gon’ stop me from tellin’ it how it is and son… you gotta take out my dick out ya’ mouth! You got handed a dubya against me thanks to two-thirds of the Triangle of Terror and now you think you some hot shot. It’s as annoying as you constantly stayin on Holly Arrow’s ass bout’ you ALMOST having her! Like man… WE GET IT! YOU ALMOST HAD HER; WE JUST DO NOT CARE! YOU STINK! YOU SUCK! YOU’RE TERRIBLE! SIMPLY TERRIBLE! For someone trained by Xander Payne, clearly you only learned how to eat like that mothafucka’ but you can’t even lace his boots son! You simply ain’t him, and you will never break out in EAW!

“Honcho opens up one of the milk jugs, as he begins to take a sip from it as he coughs from drinking it too fast as he looks at the camera and raises his eyebrow.”

Honcho: Now Harper Lee, I see you trynna downplay me. I ain’t some bozo these fans don’t know and chant “who?!?” at. Nah, I’m Hunnid Honcho, the Sex Icon, The Holler Of The Streets, and The Rizzmeister himself! Sure, you got the dubya against me at Showdown last week; but you barely survived that match. If it wasn’t for my simple mistake ya ass would’ve been flatter than a mothafuckin’ pancake cause baby girl? I’m thicker than a mothafuckin’ snicker, I AM A MEATY MAN, AND I HAVE THE PEAK MALE PHYSIQUE! THAT’S ON BABY! So you best be putting respect on my name, cause I ain’t afraid to squash ya like a bug, folks gon’ end up callin’ me Exterminator Honcho!

“Honcho opens the other jug of milk as he takes a sip from it and smiles as he closes the jug.”

Honcho: Now Holly Arrow ain’t someone I got an issue with; I mean she hasn’t done me any wrong and somewhat complimented my style of entertainment here in EAW… but don’t get it twisted, I ain’t a joke when it comes inside that ring! I may not be on ya level in your eyes, but trust me my verses are killer, and any of em’ can end up ruining ya’ night! I’m like a tommy gun in this bitch, I shoot and I shoot; I can miss a couple of shots but when one of em’ lands… oh baby it’s gon’ be a bad night for whoever it hits and you best be hoping it ain’t you sister! Just keep cookin’ Abel like a juicy tilapia and we gon’ be okay; meanwhile, I’mma finish the my appetizer meal here in EAW, Harley Lewis!

“Suddenly, Honcho’s demeanor changes from a happy go lucky one to a more serious one as he mentions the name of Harley Lewis. He cracks his neck and begins to speak.”

Honcho: You are someone I had minor beef with solely because ya lil’ group decided to target me; but alright fam, I’m the bad guy in ya’ eyes cause I got my get back. So why don’t you do the same? Ya’ boys already failed, so why don’t you try and get it back in blood. If ya truly think you deserve that opportunity that Mary S. Atlas got then prove it to the world instead of bitching and moaning about it! You know what I’m all about though, you told it how it is to Abel Atami and yet you still tryin’ ya best to keep up to me. Once you failed to beat Joso at Pain For Pride you just haven’t been the same. Sure, you’ve beaten be before, but one win on me and my worldwide clout wasn’t able to fix ya issue. Not even ya’ group could either and that’s a damn shame, but who’s to blame but yaself. Diss my rap career all ya’ want son, I got the streets talkin’ while “The Don” of EAW don’t even got the rats squeakin’! You callin’ me a bottom feeder, but you and I aren’t too different except people give a shit bout me cause I ENTERTAIN, while you? You put folks to sleep with all this yappin’ and yappin’ but accomplishing jack shit! At least people recognize my catchphrases, my hilarity, and the potential for me to change the game for folks who love to make the fans watchin’ EAW crack a smile and even a laugh or two! I’m doing something different, and getting some success off it, but you? You just another British fighter with nothing much to make you stand out besides two shitty lackeys. When I’m done with you son, I’m boutta feed all the EAW fans a British delicacy when I spread beans all over you; cause you’re toast when I get my big ole’ hands on ya’ son and that’s a promise from Mr. 305 Rizzmeister son! Remember though, when Honcho is on screen make sure to go to @HunnidHoncho and


“As Honcho screams this loudly in the middle of the grocery store, he slams both gallons of milk beneath him as milk spills all over the floor and Honcho begins to slip as he falls and slightly shakes the area he fell around as he tells the camera guy to turn it off as Honcho is seen hitting the infamous “Family Guy” death pose. The camera is turned off and the screen fades to black.”

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