- Messages
- 114
- Points
- 43
The sound of the hyped-up live audience could be heard as Damien Kutcher walked through the tunnel, holding his 24/7 Contract. He passed by a kid who was standing next to his father.
Dad, look! Itās āMr. Hustle & Flowā Damien Kutcher!
The kid called out to him.
KUTCHER!
Damien slowly began to walk back to him, the kid looking amazed and his father a bit concerned but sticking beside him. Eventually, Kutcher was right in front of him.
Go get him, Champ.
Damien smiled, ruffled the kid's hair, and then began to walk away.
Wait, aren't you supposed to give me your sunglasses?
Damien turned around.
Now why would Kutcher give you these sunglasses? These are worth more than what your father makes in a year. Guaranteed that nigga right there pawn these off as soon as he gets them.
The father steps in.
Hey, thatās not very nice; you shouldnāt speak about people like that.
Shut yo broke ass up, before Kutcher smacks the change out your pockets.
Well Iād like to see you tryā
DAMIEN BACKHANDS HIM SO HARD HE FLIES INTO THE AIR!
When he comes down, change scatters along the floor ā all pennies.
Mhm, what did we learn?
My penniesā¦oh my godā¦my penniesā¦
My penniesā¦oh my godā¦my penniesā¦
He tosses and turns on the floor, trying to collect his loose change. Damien looks at the kid and shakes his head.
Donāt be a loser like your father when you grow up, you hear me?
The kid nods as Damien Kutcher continues his way out of the tunnel.
Wowā¦
The live crowd is hyped up, watching the NEW 24/7 Contract Holder Damien Kutcher come out to grace them with his presence. The all-black choir praises him as he goes to sit down at his desk. He places a laminated 24/7 Contract on his desk, displaying it for all to see.
Alright, settling the fuck down. I get it, ya boy is more sauced up than an Enchilada, but letās act like we've been here before. What Kutcher will say is serious, so let Kutcher be seriousā¦
Damien takes off his sunglasses and looks at the camera.
This right here means the world to me. Alright, I was down for so long, and I felt like there was no way of getting out of the funk I was in. For years, I have come so close and more often than not been so far away from achieving greatness. Every day, I had to hear about how bad I was, how useless I am, and how I would be nothing more than a shackle for Akari Kiyoko. And before Pain for Pride, a part of me believed that. But as you can see, the moment I started to believe in myself, I put stock in myself and started building up instead of looking down. That was when I was finally able to be the man I was always meant to be. For everyone that supported me, bought my merch, and loved even at my lowest. Thank you. We made it out of the mud, and you were there with me. But for the rest of y'allā¦
Damien puts on his sunglasses.
STAY ON THAT SIDE BITCH ASS NIGGA!
Niggas will clown you your whole career, but once they see a nigga is up they wanna hop on the bandwagon. Like, why are you in a Knicks jersey? Arenāt you from California? I swear, the slander disappeared overnight. Now everyone wants to know what Kutcher will do next. What is the plan for Kutcher? What title is Kutcher going to do for? All up on Kutcherās dick, straight pogo on it. And usually when youāre on Kutcherās dick and balls, you donāt leave disappointed, but there is a first for everything. Because truthfully, Kutcher aināt decided yet. I was going to go after Kai, seeing Adam Lucas folded that bald nigga like some laundry. But you know, Kutcher was still recovering from his victory rounds with Halsey Neel. Let me tell you, that woman can put it down. The hotel room was looking like the Rust Belt the way we left it a wreck. But thatās none of your concern. But as Kutcher was sayinā, it doesnāt matter if Kutcher doesn't have someone in mind right now. Kutcher got a whole year to decide, and for that whole year I got everyone watching their backs. Cause anywhere, anytime, anyplace, Kutcher can pop out and snatch that chain.
Youāre in catering, eating a Chipotle burrito? BOW! Kutcher there!
Youāre in the shower, singing Mariah Carey? BOW! Kutcher there!
Youāre in the bathroom, whipping your ass? BOW! Kutcher there!
Youāre at your crib, balls deep into fine shit, you about to bust a nut and then suddenly- BOW! Kutcher there nigga, run me that Championship!
Kutcher went from one of the most underappreciated to the most watched star in one night, and Kutcher promises you this. That it aināt going nowhere, and the momentum I got is not going to be wasted. We are still on Showdown, and starting the season with a rocket on my back. Well, letās say it feels real good, and Iām going to use that to my advantage and start right now, with my first match back. Now everyone knows about Silas Mason and his ragtag group of gooners. Yeah, they donāt need no introduction; every single one of them stank, and for about a year or two they have been all I have seen around here. Now, before they had a little bit of aura, right? Had Harper Lee, a former World Champion, then Donovan Duke, who was a World Champion at that time. Them fuckināā¦Ronan Malosi. I mean he was cool, until he wasnāt, but that's the story of his career, aināt it? Then what do they do? Recruit Nikki Kimura, Brianna Hill, fuckinā brainwashed Pandora Paisley. Slowly yāall lost so much fuckinā importance, you got Vincent Mondarian and Ryan Wilson carrying your group.
Oh, and whoever the fuck El Duque is! I mean seriously nigga, is this the best that we have to offer? Is this the Silas World that dominated this place not too long ago? Ronan is out not being a father; Harper Lee has left this brand; Donovan is MIA; and you betrayed Nikki for Brianna, then betrayed her. What does this stupid ass group have? Are you looking towards Ryan Wilson to get you back to the top! Not only are you all stupid, but y'all are fuckinā boring; youāre looking to get Halsey Neel and Pandora Paisley on the boat to fix your boring and stupid fuckinā group!
Will it work?
Do I feel bad?
Am I going to beat your bald ass if you even come near my baby girl again?
Let Kutcher keep it a buck; I couldnāt give less of a fuck about your washed-ass boy band because itās clear your ugly ass is desperate for the same power you had. I wouldāve stayed out of the way and let you slowly die out with the 2007 Cleveland minus-LeBron lineup you got on the payroll. But you mess with my girl, then you got a problem with me and even though me and Jon Kelton aināt ever been in the same room. At least he knows how to stand up for his girl, and Kutcher is going to do the same. So if you want some Silas World, you gonna get some. Send whoever, send that stupid ass masked white man in a lucha mask that speaks Spanish like a white woman going to a Mexican restaurant for the first time.
Send that yuck mouth ass edgelord, send that fucking leprechaun so that Kutcher can beat his ass like he should have on the streets of New York!
KUTCHER DONāT GIVE A FUCK! THIS IS KUTCHERāS BRAND! KUTCHERāS RING! AND IF YOU THINK YOUR THE MAN THAT CAN STOP ME! THEN STEP UP THEN PUSSSSSY!
ā¦
Sorry, Kutcher got a little light headed there. But seriously, fuck Silas Mason, fuck Vincent Mondarian, fuck Ryan Wilson, fuck that Special Needs nigga El Duque, and most importantlyā¦FUCK SILAS WORLD!
And FUCK Ryan Wilson again, just in case you didnāt hear me.
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCHHHHHHHH!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALAALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALAALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!!
ā¦
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!!!
Niggas will clown you your whole career, but once they see a nigga is up they wanna hop on the bandwagon. Like, why are you in a Knicks jersey? Arenāt you from California? I swear, the slander disappeared overnight. Now everyone wants to know what Kutcher will do next. What is the plan for Kutcher? What title is Kutcher going to do for? All up on Kutcherās dick, straight pogo on it. And usually when youāre on Kutcherās dick and balls, you donāt leave disappointed, but there is a first for everything. Because truthfully, Kutcher aināt decided yet. I was going to go after Kai, seeing Adam Lucas folded that bald nigga like some laundry. But you know, Kutcher was still recovering from his victory rounds with Halsey Neel. Let me tell you, that woman can put it down. The hotel room was looking like the Rust Belt the way we left it a wreck. But thatās none of your concern. But as Kutcher was sayinā, it doesnāt matter if Kutcher doesn't have someone in mind right now. Kutcher got a whole year to decide, and for that whole year I got everyone watching their backs. Cause anywhere, anytime, anyplace, Kutcher can pop out and snatch that chain.
Youāre in catering, eating a Chipotle burrito? BOW! Kutcher there!
Youāre in the shower, singing Mariah Carey? BOW! Kutcher there!
Youāre in the bathroom, whipping your ass? BOW! Kutcher there!
Youāre at your crib, balls deep into fine shit, you about to bust a nut and then suddenly- BOW! Kutcher there nigga, run me that Championship!
Kutcher went from one of the most underappreciated to the most watched star in one night, and Kutcher promises you this. That it aināt going nowhere, and the momentum I got is not going to be wasted. We are still on Showdown, and starting the season with a rocket on my back. Well, letās say it feels real good, and Iām going to use that to my advantage and start right now, with my first match back. Now everyone knows about Silas Mason and his ragtag group of gooners. Yeah, they donāt need no introduction; every single one of them stank, and for about a year or two they have been all I have seen around here. Now, before they had a little bit of aura, right? Had Harper Lee, a former World Champion, then Donovan Duke, who was a World Champion at that time. Them fuckināā¦Ronan Malosi. I mean he was cool, until he wasnāt, but that's the story of his career, aināt it? Then what do they do? Recruit Nikki Kimura, Brianna Hill, fuckinā brainwashed Pandora Paisley. Slowly yāall lost so much fuckinā importance, you got Vincent Mondarian and Ryan Wilson carrying your group.
Oh, and whoever the fuck El Duque is! I mean seriously nigga, is this the best that we have to offer? Is this the Silas World that dominated this place not too long ago? Ronan is out not being a father; Harper Lee has left this brand; Donovan is MIA; and you betrayed Nikki for Brianna, then betrayed her. What does this stupid ass group have? Are you looking towards Ryan Wilson to get you back to the top! Not only are you all stupid, but y'all are fuckinā boring; youāre looking to get Halsey Neel and Pandora Paisley on the boat to fix your boring and stupid fuckinā group!
Will it work?
Do I feel bad?
Am I going to beat your bald ass if you even come near my baby girl again?
Let Kutcher keep it a buck; I couldnāt give less of a fuck about your washed-ass boy band because itās clear your ugly ass is desperate for the same power you had. I wouldāve stayed out of the way and let you slowly die out with the 2007 Cleveland minus-LeBron lineup you got on the payroll. But you mess with my girl, then you got a problem with me and even though me and Jon Kelton aināt ever been in the same room. At least he knows how to stand up for his girl, and Kutcher is going to do the same. So if you want some Silas World, you gonna get some. Send whoever, send that stupid ass masked white man in a lucha mask that speaks Spanish like a white woman going to a Mexican restaurant for the first time.
Send that yuck mouth ass edgelord, send that fucking leprechaun so that Kutcher can beat his ass like he should have on the streets of New York!
KUTCHER DONāT GIVE A FUCK! THIS IS KUTCHERāS BRAND! KUTCHERāS RING! AND IF YOU THINK YOUR THE MAN THAT CAN STOP ME! THEN STEP UP THEN PUSSSSSY!
ā¦
Sorry, Kutcher got a little light headed there. But seriously, fuck Silas Mason, fuck Vincent Mondarian, fuck Ryan Wilson, fuck that Special Needs nigga El Duque, and most importantlyā¦FUCK SILAS WORLD!
And FUCK Ryan Wilson again, just in case you didnāt hear me.
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCHHHHHHHH!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALAALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALAALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!!
ā¦
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!!!
