- Messages
- 207
- Points
- 63
I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or scream.
I guess I kinda feel like doing all three. So lemme do the first thing and totally swallow my pride for a moment. Not gunna lie, I was real salty when you brought your perky lil ass to that ring last week and demanded a match, Pandora, whether it was earned or not based on your Reasonable Doubt victory, because I am literally so fucking over Uggo World that I am real close to pulling a power move and having myself sent to Dynasty or something just to get a fucking break from you goons. That said, you wanted nothing to do with them in that moment. You just wanted your shot and I commend that. You stepped up, you totally delivered, and who even knows what would have happened if people would have just left us alone! Silas, Halsey, and him.
Oooooh I don’t even want to say that little rat’s name because I literally fucking hate Jake Smith.
I hate him, okay? I get that this is supposed to be the resurrection weekend and all that kewt fun religious stuff that no one with half a brain really cares about, but Loooooooooooooooooooord. TAKE JAKE AWAY! STUFF HIM IN A TOMB AND DON’T LET HIM OUT! There is not a single ounce of kindness left in my perfect body for anyone right now. I literally don’t know why people like Jake Smith are literally alive? Why hasn’t someone snapped and killed him yet? I’m soooo sure that there are millions of people out there who want to wrap their hands around his scrawny neck and just choke the life out of him. I mean, I do. I kinda sorta don’t want to speak for Pandora, but I’m sure she feels some type of way, and wants to choke him too! After all, Jake more or less handed her a loss in a world championship match, and took her fate entirely out of her hands. I’m not about to act like Pandora had the match all wrapped up in pretty paper and a kewt lil bow, because there’s a reason I have reigned as the #ADAMSWORLDCHAMPION for like over 300 days or something crazy like that! But I know that shit literally happens and until a match is actually done and in the books, you can’t really assume anything. Now, I totally love my chances to beat anyone because I am the literal best in EAW today! Best champ along with my kunty lil bestie Milli! So I have no doubt that I would have successfully retained against Pandora, but thanks to that creature, who doesn’t even deserve to be labeled an actual human, Pandora and I are left in limbo!
She’s gunna think she had the match won.
I literally know I would have won the match because hello, duh! The best ever right here! Ya girl, Veena Adams!
But alas, everything happens for a reason?
I say that as a question because really, what the fuck? I am on the precipice of wiping my disgusting whore of a deranged aunt out of the record books as the longest reigning champ of this beautiful, perfect title, and I can not even help but feel like the universe is like testing me or something. I never expected for like all the obstacles in my way en route to breaking the record and main eventing Pain for Pride for the second year in a row to like disappear or whatever, but seriously? This situation reeks of ick! Pissy little baby Jake inserted himself into a situation he had no business being involved in, and now, even with Grand Rampage just a few weeks away, I am defending my championship. I’m a fighting champion, so I don’t really care that I’m defending the belt for the THIRD week in a row. But what I have a problem with is the situation in which this match is being contested under. I’m not saying that I am like competing under duress or anything, but ya know? I just don’t trust any situation that Jake Smith finds himself involved in. I surely don’t trust the fact that his Hot Topic girlfriend will be at ringside. I surely don’t trust Pandora to want to ride this thing out solo again. There’s a lot of moving parts and my brain is totally buggin’ at this point. I’m hurt. I’m tired. I am like beyond annoyed right now. I know I have totally said this before but I should not be this upset right after I’ve had fresh Botox! Do you know the damage all this is doing to my face? I have never shied from admitting that I have spent good money on this body and this face, and I really, really, really don’t care for the fact that Uggo World and Jake Smith and everyone else who even slightly annoys me keeps making me spend more money to look flawless!
Like goddamn, can a girly not breathe?? What do I have to do to finally get rid of all these fucking uggos who want to rain on my parade? I’ll put Pandora in a box for now (haha, I am sooo punny), and focus on the fact that other than her, where the fuck is my fresh competition? How many freaking times does ya girl have to keep beating the same freaking people?
Ugh! As if!
YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME, CAKE SMITH! You have never been better than me. You will literally never be better than me. You had all the help in the world the last time we faced off for MY ]#AdamsWorldChampionship and where exactly did that get you, hm? It really didn’t get you anywhere. In fact, all we’ve seen you do like literally all season long is make a fool of yourself and continue to screw up Caroline’s career. I mean once upon a time she was a New Breed Champion, destined for bigger and better things, but then she latched onto you for some reason and can’t even interfere in a match properly now. It’s actually kind of a joke that not only are you getting a shot at MY title, because hello… actual fighting champ here, duh! But you’re also getting a shot at the Unified Tag Team Championships simply because you needed to give ole Caro a handout to keep her from totally destroying you. I mean, you’re ultimately going to fuck up BOTH opportunities because that’s literally what you do, isn’t it Jake? This entire season has been one miscue and misstep after another and uhhhhh, no one really sees you as a threat anymore. You are so freaking desperate to get back into the spotlight that you will literally do anything and that’s like so sad to me. I could literally NEVER, even when I was at my worst. I mean, the only thing I ever did that was wrong was trying to wipe women out of the men’s divisions, but uhhhhh I’m sorry??? Like oops! My bad, you know?? We all go through growth, and part of my growth was getting out of that mindset. Of course, my next mindset was to totally abuse my power and give myself championship shots, but whatever. Semantics, and clearly I have gotten out of that. The point is… I HAVE GROWN! I have changed! I have totally come into my own and I’m like a super good wrestler and stuff!
Where the hell is your growth??
It hasn’t been in your height since you barely scratch the surface of 5’10”, and honestly? It literally hasn’t come in the form of your wrestling either. You are the same little bitch that you have always been, throughout your previous two title reigns, and literally nothing is ever going to change BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT CAPABLE OF CHANGE! You know, it’s literally so kewt that I am sitting here tearing into you right now, because I told myself I was gunna keep it calm, cool, and collected and like start off with Pandora, but you’re a literal weasel, Jake. You’re an ugly brown stain that looks like shit and won’t come out of a pair of brand new, cream colored linen pants. And yes, I totally realize that’s an extremely specific example but I literally don’t care because fuck you. This company has never once needed Jake Smith to thrive, even if your stupid little head makes you think that. Remember the whole Jake Smith Show nonsense? Literally a total joke. The 420s?? Poor Bronny has to literally be stuck with that disgusting stigma for the actual rest of his career. Bethany Blue versus Alexis Chambers in a mud match at Pain for Pride??? Only for them to turn around become the lesbian couple that literally no one wanted, but at least we got to see Jake get dumped in a pit of mud. I mean that totally ranks right up there with Ronan Malosi getting pissed on by Steroid Dawg as one of my favorite EAW moments of all-time! You guys wanna know what else is gunna rank as a favorite moment of mine?
When I once again dash your hopes and dreams of becoming a world champ, Jakey!
I have literally carried the weight of this brand on my back for actual years now and I’ll be damned if someone like you comes in and undoes everything I have busted my perfect butt for! I have done nothing but scratch, fight, and claw to keep this championship out of undeserving hands and even before that, I was working to keep people like you away from the National Elite Championship! I take my job as the face of EAW literally so seriously and I am going to squash you like a fucking bug underneath my custom Louboutin wrestling boots. I am so serious, because with history on the line for me? Pain for Pride just a few months away? The all-time record for longest world championship reign in my sights?
No.
Just no!
As for you Pandora? I should totally have the same amount of disdain for you that I do for Jake, because you are a gorgeous woman who willingly slept with Jon Kelton and it doesn’t get more disgusting than that, but whatever. The fact of matter is, we have unfinished business. There’s no ands, ifs, or buts about that. Both of us are super salty over what happened last week, and quite frankly, I literally hate having unfinished business with anyone. It was a literal no-brainer to have another match with you, and I’m so sure at some point, the two of us will turn around and beat the shit out of Jake together. The very fact I hate Jake so much that I’m willing to work with an Uggo World member is something that I certainly didn’t expect to happen in big 2026 but here we totally are! Kind of sad that one little vanilla midget has caused all this drama, isn’t it?
I literally don’t give a shit about what your opinion is of me. I know my worth and value to this brand and this company, no amount of poison that Silas could feed you is ever going to change what you see when Veena Adams stands across the ring from you. I haven’t always been this good, this poised, and this motivated to continue being the actual greatest thing ever, but like I’m in my bag right now and yeah, I’ve totally gotten absolutely EVERYTHING that I could possibly want.
Except two specific records.
Except a second straight Pain for Pride main event!
Except Jake’s vagina on a platter!
But those are things you haven’t even come close to, although I can totally understand you not wanting anything AT ALL to do with Jake’s smelly pussy. I know that eats you alive because you’re like a competitor and stuff, but tell me and keep it a buck. Are you ever going to actually step up and show us all that? Group after group… even if the worst one of all was forced upon you, but you’ve hardly had a chance to truly separate yourself. I have no idea who Pandora Paisley really is, and you know what I think? I kinda, sorta don’t think you know who she is either!
I think that’s why you were so quick to call your shot and tell Silas to stay the hell in the back (ofc he didn’t listen which goes to show how little respect he has for your actual abilities, but let me not sip on too much tea right now, k?) because you wanted to shut everyone up. You have been relentlessly mocked for the simple fact that you have never stood on your own. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I was linked to Charlie Bear for actual YEARS, but I did have to wake the hell up at some point and start doing big girl shit. I had to like shed the stigma that was on me, ya know? It kinda got to be an anchor that was dragging me down and I like didn’t wanna live the rest of my life wondering what if. What if I had given up my backstage role and become a full time wrestler?? Would that have actually worked out for me? I mean, it like totally took hard work that I wasn’t even sure I had it in me to do, but like I did it! I did it and I survived, and not only did I survive, but I totally thrived. This is why I have like ushered in a whole new reality of what a champion is supposed to be. I have brought beauty, poise, and glamour to the #AdamsWorldChampionship and you literally can’t deny that. It’s my face that is everywhere. It is my title that everyone covets. It’s literally ME that EVERYONE dreams of beating now! My life is a total blast, Pandora, and if you don’t want that for yourself, then there is something seriously wrong with you. Wrestling may have its own niche for teams, but this is not a team sport. This is a ‘me’ sport and if you ever, ever, ever want people to take the name ‘Pamela Ofeelyah Paisley’ seriously then get rid of the lames and woman the fuck up!
Jake is no doubt going to spoil what could have been a second straight marquee match for the two of us, but sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. I could seriously use a Crumbl cookie right now because I am literally STARVING. I haven’t eaten since the week before Reasonable Doubt. Gotta look good in my gear, ya know? The sacrifices we make to stay on top of the world.
Hey! Maybe that’s why I’m so fucking angry this week.
Ohmygod… I’m literally just hangry! You know, I really should have known that when I started to paw at my water bottle like it was some kind of edible but whatever. No matter what happens in this match, after I RETAIN… AGAIN.. NONE of you are getting another match next week. I need to fucking eat, okay???
No wonder Charlie tells me all the time he doesn’t like to be around me when I’m hungry. Oh well. Oh well, I got sidetracked. The point remains, when Showdown is totally over, the same face that’s been gracing the top every single week for like the last 34,982,0498,234 days or whatever will continue to be… ME!
Venecia Katherine Adams.
Toodlez!
