MATCH PROMO Bad day part one


The Magnificent Bastard
After being utterly destroyed by Lance Blackfyre, The Unvictorious Provençal is seating in the medical staff's room. He presses a pack of ice on his neck and his back is taped with bandages but, the most telling, is his face. The usually quite happy go lucky attitude of the Joke is missing. Instead, the Frenchman's eyes are lock into the void, lost in deep melancholy and reflection. When a cameraman enters the little room, it took a moment for Provençal to get out of his blues and remark the new entrant. Then, he tries to smile but his heart is not in it :

"Back to the start. Who knew that, in three little weeks, I was gonna lose all my momentum and go back to my good old joke days of Showdown ? Operation : Doomsday seems to be my peak I guess, my top potential as an Elitist, as a wrestler. Since the final of the Winner takes all and despite all the work I continue to put in, I didn't make a single iota progress. Worst yet, I seem to have lost the few improvements I think I made and I let everyone down. My family, El Landerson, the fans and even Dynasty as a whole. How could I've been decimated this way by Jake and Osamu ? And Ripley before that ? Three unoriginal cardboard cutouts ? Three default templates from the character creation section of a video game ? Not only did I lose to such interchangeable misfits, I was simply squashed like a bug every time, not even leaving one type of impression what so ever."

As frustration begins to build up in Provençal's voice, the Unvictorious nearly threw his ice pack away, but managed to keep his calm :

"Of course you can say that the new stipulation for the Divide & Conquer was not to my advantage with my code of conduct. But I didn't knew it at the time, I fought to make sure Dynasty had a chance to win and prove it was the greatest show in EAW. I fought to make sure the biggest choking artist of this company didn't ruined our chances. I fought to show Eric Havoc's method was unnecessary to establish the red brand as the superior one. So yes, in my eyes, I failed Dynasty as much as everyone I fought for : my 13 sons, my 8 daughters, my wife, the few fans I have, and El Landerson of course. I failed them again, again and again. I failed them so hard Max didn't even bother to come talk to me today, sending you instead. I guess he, Eric and his T.R.U.E. Initiative have what they wanted, my removal from the card. Like Jake said, the only thing of value he said, I didn't changed since the good old days where I was featured when someone needed to have a sparing partner on TV he or she could nearly beat to death with impunity. Who knows ? Maybe Lance Blackfyre will need me to make him look strong in a few mon..."

Suddenly, a brutal noise interrupts Provençal. When the cameraman turns to watch what happened, he sees that a short man in full wrestling gear destroyed the room's door. It's Shorfuse PAKA, the Joke's Brother-in-law. Behind him, the young Hajime Kawano is immobile, the door knob in his hand. If Provençal is surprised, PAKA is clearly pissed off when he says :

"What the fuck was that ?

- Was what ? Aren't you suppose to be on a beach right now ?

- The kid told me you were sobbing. Is that true ?

PAKA points his thumb in the direction of his mouthpiece, who smiles with embarrassment. Provençal isn't faced and answers simply :

- No, it wasn't sobbing, it was reminiscing about the path my pro-wrestling career is taking.

- And it's clear it's gonna take a detour by Showdown to finish the lobotomy of Lance Shythead, right ?

- Well...

- Right ?!

- No, the poor man is not at war against me, but against the T.R.U.E. Initiative and StarrStyle...

PAKA smashes his hand on the table near him to stop his brother-in-law from talking. A successful endeavor permitting him to say :

- Are you telling him you're gonna let a dumb-ass like him outsmart you and destroy you with impunity without doing anything about it ?

- Fatal Destiny not withstanding, the past three weeks were exactly that : me being out-wrestled by idiots.

- I don't think you get it. We are not talking about your constant failure to adapt your training to your strengths and your opponent, we are talking about a fat cunt so retarded he choose to attack you to avenge himself for the beat down he took from Havoc and his goons !

- You see...I think poor Lance just followed the lead of Jenny Punk when she let him Stone and Muerte infiltrate Dynasty.

Feeling the naivete of Provençal making PAKA's blood boil, Hajime enters and try to put an other perspective to the situation :

- To be precise, Punk just let them enter the show. She clearly didn't ask them to attack someone specifically, which means Blackfyre, out of every single Dynasty Elitist, chose to destroy the only guy Havoc doesn't want to protect and want to see out of TV for good. I am sure Eric laughed when he saw you get destroy by Dance. This backward bully didn't made a statement against Dynasty and the T.R.U.E fuckery, he helped the guys he wanted to scare !

The speech of the young lion is sprinkled by PAKA's nods and, most importantly, make Provençal's face changed from sadness to realization :

- You're right. Lance is a big idiot. No wonder he didn't capitalize on the two Main-Event matches he had during the last month ! The guy is just an animal, a muscle mass with a reptilian brain, or worst, a Yorkshire terrier's brain ! Even that good old Eric didn't go so far in his delusions ! I am pretty sure he is convinced he made the statement of the century and he's happy to have done something a less physically gifted Elitist managed to do with more ease !

- So, I repeat my question, are you gonna let this fat bitch go away with what he did ?

The question of PAKA makes Provençal stand up. He puts the pack of ice down as a is classical optimistic smile illuminate his face :

- Non, I am maybe a simple joke for many, a laughing stoke disappointing his family every single week, a blip on everyone radar, but even I, The Unvictorious, have some standards ! As big and frightening as he is, I can't let a dummy like Lance Blackfyre humiliate me without kicking him back ! I am gonna show this barely sentient blob that even the worst Dynasty competitor can defeat him with the important muscle of all : the brain ! Laugh at me and Dynasty while you can Lance ! Right now, you're the most ridiculous Showdown Elitist, heck, even EAW Elitist here, and I am gonna prove it to you by out-smarting you at every turn ! After what I will do to you, you'll live in infamy as the dummy humiliated by the least talented wrestler of this company ! You'll become the laughing stock of the laughing stock, the bottom of the barrel, the punchline of the biggest joke ever told in EAW ! So go ahead, think you've triumphed ! Have fun against Frank Grayson ! Ignore me if you want ! Sooner than later the time will come when this Joke will find and put you back at your place, beneath me !

- See ! That's the annoying Provençal I know ! Undisturbed by his uncanny abilty to lose and ready to grind his way to the top, very slowly, but ready nonetheless.

- Thanks PAKA ! You know, even if I don't hit women or can't see Jake Smith be of any help to you, I hope your team wins at Territorial Invasion...PAKA ? What are you doing with this chair ? No, please I didn't meant to upset yo...

To be Continued.


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