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Ronan is standing in front of a pool house in his backyard with a Hawaiian shirt, and swim shorts on that have his face plastered all over them as he blows a party horn in front of the camera
Malosi: Ladies and gentlemen, as you can probably tell I am celebrating because I have a lot to celebrate about. Ya see, I did exactly what I said I was gonna do on Dynasty and I DEFEATED Hevel and Eddie Terrial. Now sadly, there was no audience there. There was no audience in the arena to cheer and let their voices be heard that their favorite and most essential elitists ended his losing streak. That’s fine, because I invited the ENTIRE EAW roster to my pool party and when they get here I’m sure that they will give me the applause that I deserve. One man that I KNOW will give me the applause that I deserve is standing right here by my side. WRESTLING LEGEND....SYLAS SANDARS!
Sylas comes into frame giving Ronan a round of applause and he pats Ronan on the back for his victory
Sylas: Ronan, words can’t quite describe just how happy I am for you right now. I mean, you turned your bad luck around into good luck all in ONE night. You ended your losing streak and you landed yourself a spot on the Gateway to Glory card. Not only that, you have the easiest match of your blossoming career at Gateway to Glory. Korey Gaines, Eddie Terrial, Kasey Kaos, Hevel, Christian DeMarco. I mean, do you notice a common factor between those names? There ain’t nobody in that list who can measure up to you, there ain’t nobody in that list that could lace you or mines boots amigo. Plus, I’m sure you’ve already got two members of the match SHOOK. I can bet you right now that Hevel and Terrial are trembling in their knees over that beating you gave them. I’m sure Terrial still has a shiner from that Souvenir you delivered to him. And Korey Gaines, he’s probably already pissed his pants. Because he knows that his “Win” against you last week is going to be proven to mean nothing at Gateway to Glory.
Malosi: Truer words could not have been said, Sylas. I should be a favorite to win this match up, but I’m sure some people see me as an underdog STILL. Maybe, because of the stipulation. Ya see, this match isn’t just ANY match it’s a ladder match. Now, it’s common knowledge that a key factor to have in ladder matches is speed. I’m not the quickest guy in this match up, I’d be an idiot to think that I am. This match isn’t my speed, however it is more the speed of people like Korey Gaines. He’s a spot monkey, he’s an aerial daredevil and this is the one advantage he’ll ever have above me in a match. However, I’m not deterred going into Gateway to Glory. Because while I may not be the quickest man in this match, I don’t necessarily need speed Sylas. Because what is Ronan Malosi best known for, man?
Sylas thinks for a second
Sylas: That glorious beard of yours.
Malosi: Well, of course. But, what’s my SECOND best trait?
Sylas: Your superhuman strength and impeccable ability to throw a great party?
Malosi: Well, you said it not me. But, what’s the THIRD best thing that I’m good at?
Sylas: Uhm......
Malosi: I’ll answer the question for ya since I’m sure we could go on all day about my MANY abilities. The ability I’m talking about particularly is thinking, Sylas. I’ve always been five steps ahead of the people that are already five steps behind, Sylas. In fact, I’m already mapping out a blueprint in my head on just exactly how I’m going to win the ladder match at Gateway to Glory. And trust me, this plan is FULL PROOF! I’m sure none of my other opponents have the mental capabilities to come up with a plan this good. Especially, Kasey Kaos. If you ask me, she hasn’t had a good thought in her head since.....FOREVER! She could literally think twice and it’d be two more thoughts than she’s had all day. She doesn’t even have the common decency, the common knowledge to thank the people who’ve helped her along in her rise to stardom. She never thanked ME! She’s been on like what, three Hot Takes. And not once has it crossed her mind that I strapped a rocket to her back by allowing her to be on my show. Ya know, the show that gets Dynasty it’s HIGHEST spike in ratings? That’s fine though, because when you don’t appreciate the people who paved the way for you they just may come back and pave a road right over you. That’s exactly what I’m going to do to you, Kasey. And the thing that makes it feel so good is that I get to crush everything you’ve worked for. I’m gonna kill all this HYPE, and I’m gonna show that you’re not the star StarrStan should be focusing on. He should be focusing on this 6-foot-5 Hot Take King in Ronan Malosi. I’ll say this, beating you down is a bit easier said than done Kasey. How do you beat down someone who doesn’t know how to stay down? You’ve never heard of the word quit in your life. You’re something we like to call a different kind of cat. I mean, I’ve never seen Minerva black mist somebody and them shrug it off like you did. I mean, you actually LIKED being misted. I’ll tell you something you won’t like though, the feeling of this elbow connecting right to the side of your head. Because you won’t be able to shrug that off, you’ll only be able to sleep it off. And don-
Sylas: Hey Ronan, this party’s been going on for quite some time and me and you are still the only guest. Like, where are the people at? I didn’t set up that snack table for nothing.
Malosi: Of course you didn’t Sylas, OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T! Look, the people’ll be here alright? I get your sort of a boomer when it comes to this type of stuff but this isn’t the 1980’s no more, man. People show up late to parties now, it’s kinda the in thing to do.
Sylas nods
Malosi: I’ll tell you something that is in right now though: stepping into EAW when you CLEARLY aren’t qualified for the job. I’m just talking about Kasey Kaos, I’m talking about Christian DeMarco. More new blood here on Dynasty. I don’t know if StarrStan is doing daily background checks on these guys but I don’t think he’s cut out for this. I mean, this guy suffers from severe anxiety and to cope with it he joins EAW? That seems a little loco if you ask me, it also seems that StarrStan booked this guy into a corner. How do we expect HIM to climb a ladder without getting all whacked or psyched out or something?! I mean, he could barely even perform in a simple tag match. He practically left “Poor” Korey Gaines to fend for himself in a den of wolves. Andre Walker and Justin Windgate tore him apart and I can’t say I didn’t laugh. It was pretty funny watching him eat a beating, he deserves it. Christian, you don’t truly “deserve” this beating which you undoubtedly will get if you show up at Gateway to Glory. Which is why I’m gonna play to your anxiety and I’m going to tell you to run, run while you still can. Take this opportunity I’m giving you because it’s once and a lifetime. You better run because things gonna get realllll ugly at Gateway to Glory. People are gonna be flying off ladders, getting hit with ladders, and even thrown off ladders. Hell, one of those people getting thrown off a ladder could be you. Sounds painful, doesn’t it? Is that what you really want? To experience pain? I need you to think about that and if you don’t show up to Gateway to Glory then I’ll know that you made the right decision.
Sylas: This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Ronan doesn’t show mercy all the time and he doesn’t plan to. So, don’t make Malosi look like an idiot come Gateway to Glory.
Malosi: Idiot.
Sylas: Yeah, I said idiot.
Malosi: No, that’s not it Sylas. The word idiot just reminded me of someone, that little newspaper boy....Eddie Terrial. He was an IDIOT to think that he could take me on, he was an IDIOT that he could beat me, he’s an IDIOT to think that he belongs in my ring. He should stick to writing articles. I can’t wait to read your little article about our match, Eddie. It’s a shame that you can’t go with the title you wanted. “Eddie subdues the monster after pinning Hevel to earn his second victory.”
Sylas: That plan didn’t work out for him.
Ronan chuckles
Malosi: It sure didn’t, Sylas. I’ll say this though, I don’t think his spirit is truly crushed yet. Even after I hit him with a little “Dreamcrusher” on Dynasty. That’s fine, Eddie. I can tell you’re a hard spirit to break and that’s fine. But, you’re playing superhero and I’m gonna knock you back into reality. You ain’t Clark Kent, you ain’t finna be doing articles and wrestling. It’s a mockery to Dynasty and more importantly, it’s a mockery to ME! I know I said that Dynasty would be the last time I shared the ring with you, but I guess I’m gonna have to make an exception at Gateway to Glory. Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you for Gateway to Glory. There’ll be no article for that match or any match afterwards because it’ll be hard to type when I break both of your hands.
Ronan stares into the camera angrily until Sylas calms him down a bit
Sylas: Tone it down, tone it down! We’re celebrating, remember?
Malosi: Yeah, it’s just these vermin make me so angry. Speaking of vermin, let’s talk about the biggest vermin on Dynasty again...Korey Gaines. Now I knew, I KNEW that me and him would cross paths again it would just be at the right place and the right time. I see no better place than Gateway to Glory, I just wish this match was one-on-one but again that’ll be down the line. For now, I’m not gonna complain. This is great opportunity, this is an opportunity that our one-on-one match wouldn’t have given me. This is the golden opportunity to climb to the top of the ladder and chuck Korey Gaines right off of it. Because ya see, Korey Gaines likes to run his mouth about me, he LOVESSSS to run his mouth about me. He was running his mouth about me all, last week. He even went as far as to call me a “Bitch” he called me a man of excuses. Korey, I have NEVER made excuses ONCE in my EAW career. I just want to state the facts, the simple facts that stand in front of everyone’s faces. And the fact of the matter is: your “Victory” over me meant NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! Tell me Korey, do you truly believe that you would’ve beat me without Minerva softening me up beforehand? If you do, you’re nothing short of delusional. It’s also FLAT OUT delusional that our match wasn’t rescheduled. I had a concussion and I was not in the right frame of mind to fight. Thankfully, my amazing instincts somewhat kicked in and I was able to defend myself a bit but still. It wasn’t right, your win should be erased from the history books. The hypocrisy here in EAW is absolutely astounding. Because you haven’t been criticized or lambasted for cheating. Yet, if I would’ve done the same thing and beat you after Minerva attacked you I would be crucified. I can’t wait to here all the hypocrites voice their hate when I leave you in the ICU after Gateway to Glory. And Korey, you’ll still be playing the tough guy act, putting on a facade. Sadly, there just won’t be anyone there to hear you.
Malosi: Hevel, I almost forgot about you. I mean, what can I say? You clearly didn’t put any effort into our match on Dynasty. The only bit of effort you put in was SHOWING UP to Dynasty. Knowing you, you probably thought me and Terrial weren’t worth your time or something. I mean, you are perfection personified. You’re a personified PUSSY that I had to save multiple times on Dynasty. If I didn’t in and break him off of you, Eddie Terrial would’ve walked away with the victory. Like I said, I’m always five steps ahead. I proved that on Dynasty. Hevel, I’m gonna prove something at Gateway to Glory too. You came into EAW brand new and with promise and ALREADY you’re just another guy who needs a step over. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna wrap up this little fiasco and get back to celebrating. Before you go though cameraman, do you want to have yourself a drink? Ya know, have yourself a shot with the soon to be EAW HALL OF FAMMEEERRRRRR!!! Ronan Malosi?
Cameraman: Yeah, I wouldn’t mind a drink.
Ronan pours some tequila in two shot glasses and drinks his but throws the cameraman’s drink into his face
Malosi: HAHAHAHA, you shoulda seen the look on your face! Sylas, he actually thought he was good enough to share a drink with me.
Sylas: HAHA, good one Ronan.
The cameraman is still trying to get the drink out his eyes
Malosi: Why are you still here? Get outta my sight.
Ronan throws the cameraman out of his backyard
Malosi: Ladies and gentlemen, as you can probably tell I am celebrating because I have a lot to celebrate about. Ya see, I did exactly what I said I was gonna do on Dynasty and I DEFEATED Hevel and Eddie Terrial. Now sadly, there was no audience there. There was no audience in the arena to cheer and let their voices be heard that their favorite and most essential elitists ended his losing streak. That’s fine, because I invited the ENTIRE EAW roster to my pool party and when they get here I’m sure that they will give me the applause that I deserve. One man that I KNOW will give me the applause that I deserve is standing right here by my side. WRESTLING LEGEND....SYLAS SANDARS!
Sylas comes into frame giving Ronan a round of applause and he pats Ronan on the back for his victory
Sylas: Ronan, words can’t quite describe just how happy I am for you right now. I mean, you turned your bad luck around into good luck all in ONE night. You ended your losing streak and you landed yourself a spot on the Gateway to Glory card. Not only that, you have the easiest match of your blossoming career at Gateway to Glory. Korey Gaines, Eddie Terrial, Kasey Kaos, Hevel, Christian DeMarco. I mean, do you notice a common factor between those names? There ain’t nobody in that list who can measure up to you, there ain’t nobody in that list that could lace you or mines boots amigo. Plus, I’m sure you’ve already got two members of the match SHOOK. I can bet you right now that Hevel and Terrial are trembling in their knees over that beating you gave them. I’m sure Terrial still has a shiner from that Souvenir you delivered to him. And Korey Gaines, he’s probably already pissed his pants. Because he knows that his “Win” against you last week is going to be proven to mean nothing at Gateway to Glory.
Malosi: Truer words could not have been said, Sylas. I should be a favorite to win this match up, but I’m sure some people see me as an underdog STILL. Maybe, because of the stipulation. Ya see, this match isn’t just ANY match it’s a ladder match. Now, it’s common knowledge that a key factor to have in ladder matches is speed. I’m not the quickest guy in this match up, I’d be an idiot to think that I am. This match isn’t my speed, however it is more the speed of people like Korey Gaines. He’s a spot monkey, he’s an aerial daredevil and this is the one advantage he’ll ever have above me in a match. However, I’m not deterred going into Gateway to Glory. Because while I may not be the quickest man in this match, I don’t necessarily need speed Sylas. Because what is Ronan Malosi best known for, man?
Sylas thinks for a second
Sylas: That glorious beard of yours.
Malosi: Well, of course. But, what’s my SECOND best trait?
Sylas: Your superhuman strength and impeccable ability to throw a great party?
Malosi: Well, you said it not me. But, what’s the THIRD best thing that I’m good at?
Sylas: Uhm......
Malosi: I’ll answer the question for ya since I’m sure we could go on all day about my MANY abilities. The ability I’m talking about particularly is thinking, Sylas. I’ve always been five steps ahead of the people that are already five steps behind, Sylas. In fact, I’m already mapping out a blueprint in my head on just exactly how I’m going to win the ladder match at Gateway to Glory. And trust me, this plan is FULL PROOF! I’m sure none of my other opponents have the mental capabilities to come up with a plan this good. Especially, Kasey Kaos. If you ask me, she hasn’t had a good thought in her head since.....FOREVER! She could literally think twice and it’d be two more thoughts than she’s had all day. She doesn’t even have the common decency, the common knowledge to thank the people who’ve helped her along in her rise to stardom. She never thanked ME! She’s been on like what, three Hot Takes. And not once has it crossed her mind that I strapped a rocket to her back by allowing her to be on my show. Ya know, the show that gets Dynasty it’s HIGHEST spike in ratings? That’s fine though, because when you don’t appreciate the people who paved the way for you they just may come back and pave a road right over you. That’s exactly what I’m going to do to you, Kasey. And the thing that makes it feel so good is that I get to crush everything you’ve worked for. I’m gonna kill all this HYPE, and I’m gonna show that you’re not the star StarrStan should be focusing on. He should be focusing on this 6-foot-5 Hot Take King in Ronan Malosi. I’ll say this, beating you down is a bit easier said than done Kasey. How do you beat down someone who doesn’t know how to stay down? You’ve never heard of the word quit in your life. You’re something we like to call a different kind of cat. I mean, I’ve never seen Minerva black mist somebody and them shrug it off like you did. I mean, you actually LIKED being misted. I’ll tell you something you won’t like though, the feeling of this elbow connecting right to the side of your head. Because you won’t be able to shrug that off, you’ll only be able to sleep it off. And don-
Sylas: Hey Ronan, this party’s been going on for quite some time and me and you are still the only guest. Like, where are the people at? I didn’t set up that snack table for nothing.
Malosi: Of course you didn’t Sylas, OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T! Look, the people’ll be here alright? I get your sort of a boomer when it comes to this type of stuff but this isn’t the 1980’s no more, man. People show up late to parties now, it’s kinda the in thing to do.
Sylas nods
Malosi: I’ll tell you something that is in right now though: stepping into EAW when you CLEARLY aren’t qualified for the job. I’m just talking about Kasey Kaos, I’m talking about Christian DeMarco. More new blood here on Dynasty. I don’t know if StarrStan is doing daily background checks on these guys but I don’t think he’s cut out for this. I mean, this guy suffers from severe anxiety and to cope with it he joins EAW? That seems a little loco if you ask me, it also seems that StarrStan booked this guy into a corner. How do we expect HIM to climb a ladder without getting all whacked or psyched out or something?! I mean, he could barely even perform in a simple tag match. He practically left “Poor” Korey Gaines to fend for himself in a den of wolves. Andre Walker and Justin Windgate tore him apart and I can’t say I didn’t laugh. It was pretty funny watching him eat a beating, he deserves it. Christian, you don’t truly “deserve” this beating which you undoubtedly will get if you show up at Gateway to Glory. Which is why I’m gonna play to your anxiety and I’m going to tell you to run, run while you still can. Take this opportunity I’m giving you because it’s once and a lifetime. You better run because things gonna get realllll ugly at Gateway to Glory. People are gonna be flying off ladders, getting hit with ladders, and even thrown off ladders. Hell, one of those people getting thrown off a ladder could be you. Sounds painful, doesn’t it? Is that what you really want? To experience pain? I need you to think about that and if you don’t show up to Gateway to Glory then I’ll know that you made the right decision.
Sylas: This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Ronan doesn’t show mercy all the time and he doesn’t plan to. So, don’t make Malosi look like an idiot come Gateway to Glory.
Malosi: Idiot.
Sylas: Yeah, I said idiot.
Malosi: No, that’s not it Sylas. The word idiot just reminded me of someone, that little newspaper boy....Eddie Terrial. He was an IDIOT to think that he could take me on, he was an IDIOT that he could beat me, he’s an IDIOT to think that he belongs in my ring. He should stick to writing articles. I can’t wait to read your little article about our match, Eddie. It’s a shame that you can’t go with the title you wanted. “Eddie subdues the monster after pinning Hevel to earn his second victory.”
Sylas: That plan didn’t work out for him.
Ronan chuckles
Malosi: It sure didn’t, Sylas. I’ll say this though, I don’t think his spirit is truly crushed yet. Even after I hit him with a little “Dreamcrusher” on Dynasty. That’s fine, Eddie. I can tell you’re a hard spirit to break and that’s fine. But, you’re playing superhero and I’m gonna knock you back into reality. You ain’t Clark Kent, you ain’t finna be doing articles and wrestling. It’s a mockery to Dynasty and more importantly, it’s a mockery to ME! I know I said that Dynasty would be the last time I shared the ring with you, but I guess I’m gonna have to make an exception at Gateway to Glory. Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you for Gateway to Glory. There’ll be no article for that match or any match afterwards because it’ll be hard to type when I break both of your hands.
Ronan stares into the camera angrily until Sylas calms him down a bit
Sylas: Tone it down, tone it down! We’re celebrating, remember?
Malosi: Yeah, it’s just these vermin make me so angry. Speaking of vermin, let’s talk about the biggest vermin on Dynasty again...Korey Gaines. Now I knew, I KNEW that me and him would cross paths again it would just be at the right place and the right time. I see no better place than Gateway to Glory, I just wish this match was one-on-one but again that’ll be down the line. For now, I’m not gonna complain. This is great opportunity, this is an opportunity that our one-on-one match wouldn’t have given me. This is the golden opportunity to climb to the top of the ladder and chuck Korey Gaines right off of it. Because ya see, Korey Gaines likes to run his mouth about me, he LOVESSSS to run his mouth about me. He was running his mouth about me all, last week. He even went as far as to call me a “Bitch” he called me a man of excuses. Korey, I have NEVER made excuses ONCE in my EAW career. I just want to state the facts, the simple facts that stand in front of everyone’s faces. And the fact of the matter is: your “Victory” over me meant NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! Tell me Korey, do you truly believe that you would’ve beat me without Minerva softening me up beforehand? If you do, you’re nothing short of delusional. It’s also FLAT OUT delusional that our match wasn’t rescheduled. I had a concussion and I was not in the right frame of mind to fight. Thankfully, my amazing instincts somewhat kicked in and I was able to defend myself a bit but still. It wasn’t right, your win should be erased from the history books. The hypocrisy here in EAW is absolutely astounding. Because you haven’t been criticized or lambasted for cheating. Yet, if I would’ve done the same thing and beat you after Minerva attacked you I would be crucified. I can’t wait to here all the hypocrites voice their hate when I leave you in the ICU after Gateway to Glory. And Korey, you’ll still be playing the tough guy act, putting on a facade. Sadly, there just won’t be anyone there to hear you.
Malosi: Hevel, I almost forgot about you. I mean, what can I say? You clearly didn’t put any effort into our match on Dynasty. The only bit of effort you put in was SHOWING UP to Dynasty. Knowing you, you probably thought me and Terrial weren’t worth your time or something. I mean, you are perfection personified. You’re a personified PUSSY that I had to save multiple times on Dynasty. If I didn’t in and break him off of you, Eddie Terrial would’ve walked away with the victory. Like I said, I’m always five steps ahead. I proved that on Dynasty. Hevel, I’m gonna prove something at Gateway to Glory too. You came into EAW brand new and with promise and ALREADY you’re just another guy who needs a step over. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna wrap up this little fiasco and get back to celebrating. Before you go though cameraman, do you want to have yourself a drink? Ya know, have yourself a shot with the soon to be EAW HALL OF FAMMEEERRRRRR!!! Ronan Malosi?
Cameraman: Yeah, I wouldn’t mind a drink.
Ronan pours some tequila in two shot glasses and drinks his but throws the cameraman’s drink into his face
Malosi: HAHAHAHA, you shoulda seen the look on your face! Sylas, he actually thought he was good enough to share a drink with me.
Sylas: HAHA, good one Ronan.
The cameraman is still trying to get the drink out his eyes
Malosi: Why are you still here? Get outta my sight.
Ronan throws the cameraman out of his backyard
