MATCH PROMO Change Your World - Voltage

Jalyn Garcia

Active member
EAW ROSTER
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64
Points
33
I tried to escape the rain.

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The dark clouds.

W I L D H E A R T

The stormy nights.

Chapter One: A New Star In The Skies

And still it follows me.

Voltage, August 24nd, 2019

Every day. Every breath I take.

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Change Your World - Promo One

I question. I question this. I question where I am. I question what I want. I question where I want to be. And this just feels like a constantly losing battle. It feels like a war where the tide turns back on me each and every time that I manage to finally turn those clouds away, when I finally make the rain stop pouring for just one second. Left and right, each decision I take ultimately leads me right back to the place where I’m staring back up at the ceiling questioning just about everything that I’ve done and everything that I’m doing. And so my mind is on a loop and it’s constantly going around and around and around and I can’t turn it off; constantly asking myself why I am I still here? And when I can’t find an answer, it returns back to the start like a gramaphone dragging the needle back to the beginning of a track. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. When I do sleep, I sleep through alarms. I miss flights, I miss connecting flights, I miss trains, I miss Ubers. I miss my checkout time. I’m late to arenas and I’m the first to leave just so I can drag myself back to the comfort of a bed and tuck myself in hoping to forget the world just outside that one, singular, glass window. Each of those points, each of those moments in my day to day - week to week - life, I either see or I feel or I hear the sound of rain and thunder. Even when I’m surrounded by the thing I love the most and that’s being inside that ring, in an arena full of fans, I...still...hear it. I hear it. I cannot escape any of it. I cannot find just a moment of reprieve from it.

And I ask him. I ask Jamie. I ask Cameron. I ask their family. I ask just about every connection that he has, that he can put in contact with me and I cannot get the answer that puts my mind at ease.

Just win.

It’s simple, isn’t it? Just a very simple, fundamental aspect of this business. When you’re swept up in defeat, you go nowhere. You stagnate. You struggle to keep your head above the water for long enough to survive. They tell me to win but what happens when you just can’t? And when I tell them that simply “winning” isn’t even a possibility, I’m told to redefine myself, to reinvigorate my personal identity. Yeah, because that’s going to work. Because putting on some mask that conceals who I am to the greater world is somehow going to make a difference. At the end of the day? I’M STILL BENEATH THAT MASK. ME. JALYN FUCKING GARCIA. THIS SUPPOSED “WILDHEART”. YEAH, BENEATH THAT MASK IS STILL ME AND NOTHING CHANGES WHEN EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO CHANGE EXISTS WITHIN THE WALLS OF MY FUCKING MIND. Problem? Problem is your mind powers everything. It powers what you see. It powers what you hear. It powers what you feel. You think, therefore you are. It’s entirely possible that I’m not actually cutting a promo for a wrestling match on Sunday and instead that I’m in a mental asylum staring at the walls thinking that I’m playing in the rain. You think, therefore you are. I think that I’m the WildHeart, Jalyn Garica but it’s entirely possible that I’m nothing but the peak mediocrity that I’ve already mocked others for being without winning a match, without even winning a damn thing.

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.

Bring the mind into complete harmony.

I think the clouds follow me, that the rain follows me. But what if that just isn’t the case? I allow myself to get bogged down and succumbing to the blues so willingly, so easily, that I simply miss the days where the sun shines down. It’s supposed to be summer, I’m supposed to feel the warmth on my skin. But instead all I’ve done is spent the last two months trapped in this bleak and depressing place where I don’t feel that warmth. Who is the gatekeeper? Who keeps me here? Who guards me under lock and key in this limited mental reality? Nobody. There’s nobody. There’s nobody standing there to force me back into this hole dare I try to escape. I can walk straight out that door and right past the mythical jailer that I THINK has kept me here. So...this means what? I don’t wake up tomorrow, drag myself out of bed and hope that when I look out that hotel window that it isn’t raining. If I do? I’ll simply crawl back beneath the sheets and dream for the world to continue passing me by. No. How I overcome it, overcome all of it, is by reducing that very sound to nothing more than simple background noise. Nothing more than audio that slowly - day by day, week by week - is reduced to nothing but a muted sound trying to break back into my focus. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. I keep seeing defeat as this constant setback. I see defeat as this impossible mountain that stands between me and some grand sense of calm and comfort in my status. If I see every defeat as a lesson - just like so many I undertook in reaching EAW to begin with - then tomorrow that noise becomes more and more distant; more and more faint. Tomorrow? Tomorrow I might not win. Tomorrow I might end up laying flat on my back but I guess if there is anything that makes tomorrow any different to the last two months, it’s the simplistic fact that my perspective of not the whole world, not the world that I cannot control but my world, what I see, what I control, has changed. And it’s changed in a way that doesn’t lead to instantaneous success. All those that I called mediocre...that I blasted for being nothing short of embarrassing? They all have this problem of thinking that a fleeting thought that occupies their mind in the final moments of their consciousness per night is somehow going to be the fuel that gets them up in the morning and working towards their goals. Rise and grind right? The mantra heralded and championed by the kind of people who are always progressing towards their goals. None of that occurs over night. You just don’t know and that’s something you can’t fear. You can’t allow the fear of never shrugging off this daunting reality. We’re merely gifted a chance, an opportunity to move on.

I get a chance. I get some sort of opportunity to once again correct this trajectory and get myself back on the one that had me stargazing at the night sky for days on end.

That is through one Jesse Barlow.

A man I know nothing about and quite frankly none of that bothers me; I almost embrace that fact. To me, Barlow is an irrelevant name, an irrelevant personality, merely a relevant presence. That’s about it; that’s about as good as it should be. This is a personal battle. This a battle between myself and my own mind and I will not be bogged down by someone’s deficiencies and preoccupying myself with a verbal back and throw of harsh words...of criticisms. Just about anyone could stand across from me on Voltage and I wouldn’t treat them any different. Walk, before you run. Simply waking up come Monday morning without those dark clouds hanging over my head is all I need, all I want. It makes the result almost an irrelevant aspect but regardless victory would go a considerable way in helping those clouds disappear, that rain to finally fade to mute. At the end of the day, Garcia is a name that I do not plan to waste. It’s not a legacy that I wish to disgrace nor an identity that I want to disappoint. Elite Answers Wrestling is ripe for my moment to shine, my opportunity to rise through the ranks and what? I’m going to waste it? I’m going to leave it rotting on the side of the road because I can’t get over my own mental struggles. It’s a conflict. Between sides pulling me in different directions selfishly. But if one night’s rest, one personal pep talk doesn’t change your outcome, then it’s neither who will win. Come Voltage, I can only throw before Jesse Barlow the very fucking best that I have. Every strike thrown with as much force as possible, every kick delivered swiftly. And victory? A result decided when the dust settles on this battlefield.

But no matter how it lays.

I’ll march on.

Forever forward.
 

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