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The camera cuts to the Arena San Francisco where TLA is attending an indy lucha show. TLA is hyped to see all of the high flying luchadores do their thang and he gets the opportunity to enjoy the show as a fan for once instead of as a competitor. However, as TLA looks over the shoulder of an elderly white woman sitting in front of him, he is surprised to see what she is texting on her phone.
TLA: Aww hell nah who this gringa think she is? She here in Oaxaca texting that shit? Pinche puta. I should beat the shit outta her right here right now.
TLA has to restrain himself from getting violent and getting himself arrested for attacking an old white woman. This would probably mean he has to miss Grand Rampage so he decides to take the high road. We definitely keeping an eye out for Voltage tho she not gonna ruin Javier’s big night!
TLA: Lucha lucha lucha you know a vato finna get he lucha on. Y’all know we got them wildest fans out here. The craziest Hispanic fans in the world packin’ this arena. You know that Adam Lucas and Dr. Bethany Blue best watch out cuz we been looking for them since the last time yo boi threw down en Mexico. We out here and we reppin’ la cultura more fiercely than ever. The haters might think it won’t matter none. They might not respect it but we flyin’ that flag regardless. Gotta hold it down for mi gente cuz if I don’t do it ain’t nobody else gonna do it. They say that TLA be the Baddest Hombre on the Planet and that is something imma be defending like my life depends on it. Gonna be fuckin’ up erry opp in that ring. Getting a Grand Rampage preview in. Don’t matter who or what you are. You on that list you on TLA’s list and you gonna get that assbeating of a lifetime. You know I just see a culo and I gotta whip it. Gotta get real dangerous out there in that ring. They say that this a small town show. Small ass arena. Only a few hundred fans gonna get in. But that makes this a very special night. A very special event. Maybe some of y’all in this match gonna half ass it. Maybe the paycheck y’all get for doing a lucha indy show ain’t worth it to y’all. But for the real ones like yo boi we go just as hard for the small crowds as we be goin’ for the Pain for Pride stadium shows.
Doin’ it for the luv of the game.
TLA: It might be Semana Santa en Mexico but what imma be doin’ to y’all motherfuckers in that ring gonna be anything be holy. Gonna be a straight up demonic beat down if ya feel me. Cuz we be takin’ no prisoners out here. We goin’ harder than most we droppin’ every opp with the quickness. Cuz we just on that savage mode no doubt no doubt. When you got a bad ese like me out here just doin’ some real OG type shit you just can’t even expect what imma bust out. I be whippin’ out da AK. I be poppin’ a cap in all y’all bitch asses leavin’ y’all lying. Delivering you them papers letting you know that there be a hit put out on yo ass. This might just be yo last performance y’all best make the most of it. When you in the ring with me that is the chance of a lifetime. Best make the most of it. Might be the end of yo lifetime if you fuck it up. Might be livin’ but you dead inside cuz you know you done fucked up the biggest opportunity of yo career in the ring with a leyenda. I be giving these opportunities out with the generosity. I ain’t pulling no part timer type shit like the other oldheads around this place. I am sure they are gonna start poppin’ out the woodwork now we in Pain for Pride season. They comin’ back to stat pad and flex they legado. Pero yo boi been here all year round. Gettin’ he lucha on week in and week out and if there is such a thing as ring rust…
I ain’t never had any.
TLA: Cuz I ain’t never let myself get outta practice. Always at the top of my game. Ain’t nobody can say otherwise. People be acting like I ain’t the main event no longer then they get in the ring with me and they get reminded just who the fuck I am. And imma remind everyone in this match just who I am. Even the rare person who is able to beat me like Minerva got no choice but to admit that I gave her the fight of her life gave her the fight of her career before she managed to drain the last drop of sangre up out a vato. But this week we on that comeback arc and that was like a whole year ago almost now. That was then and this is now and just cuz y’all won the last match against me don’t mean I ain’t gonna get one over on y’all this time. Cuz that is what y’all can expect from TLA. Anyone. Anywhere. Anytime. I can win. I can beat em all. Don’t matter what kind of person, champion, legend you are. I can beat em all and this week imma beat em all senseless. Some of y’all just might not make it to Grand Rampage I fear. Just might not be the show for you cuz you was unlucky enough to be in the ring across from a hardened veterano like yo boi.
Runnin’ and gunnin’.
TLA: Faster than fast y’all know imma put y’all on blast. I be deserving of a World Championship opportunity at this point. I’ve beaten most of the people who have challenged for it lately. But we ain’t be no beggar. We ain’t out here crying and moaning to be handed shit. We taking that hard road and what road is harder than the Grand Rampage? The Grand Rampage be the match that errybody in EAW says is the hardest match to win. The second hardest match to win is a match against TLA. I am sure everyone says this. Nah for real for real it is a tough ass lucha. They be saying the odds ain’t on yo side. I ain’t won this match before I’ve come real close tho. They say it’s never gonna happen. TLA should just give it up. You don’t need it holmes. Just move on and keep yo blood pressure down. But that ain’t my style. I be out here putting myself into matches I ain’t got a prayer of winning on the regular. I got matches on a weekly basis where I be fighting against the odds. Taking on all kinds of unstoppable record breaking champions and homies escorted by they entire posses basically fighting they asses five on one. But I fights them regardless cuz I ain’t one to back down. That is why what happened with Chris Elite got me feelin’ such a way. Cuz he should understand that and he should be doin’ that just as much as I am doin’ that. I am going to be watching his Oaxaca Street Fight against NICK this week real closely.
See if he shits the bed again.
TLA: Or maybe if y’all really wanna take it to the streets here in Mexico you gonna find me on those streets too. Cuz I straight run these streets out here. I got my own match to focus on tho. I got six opps to take down. Got Saori Aizen riding beside yo boi. Says that TLA lucky to have her and maybe I am. Maybe Saori gonna be the best partner that I ever done had. We gonna find out. We ain’t never know until we try. We gonna throw fists tho. That much is certain. We fighting until someone tear us down. Of course a match like this gonna be chaotic. You just know it gonna be wildin’. Gonna have all kinds of homies makin’ noise and the sad part is that me and Saori could lose this match without even being involved in the decision. Some weak ass motherfucker gonna take the pin and then the winner gonna act like they beat TLA? Fuck outta here. We ain’t about to let that happen. My name is my name and we makin’ sure my name be the name known on these streets. Gotta make sure ain’t nobody ever forget bout what we doin’. Cuz this that lucha game and we worldwide. We ain’t just restrained to Mexico no longer we taking shit over globally. Can’t stop. Won’t stop. This la cultura tonight. But we gonna be slippin’ all up in all yo casas. One by one y’all can’t keep us out. Kickin’ all them doors down.
A vato comin’ in.
TLA: Ashlynn Quinn says that TLA done turned on his partner for petty reasons. But that is just throwing stones while living in a glass house if I ever saw it. Cuz she out here teaming up with Jon Kelton who turned on his own partner for whatever reason himself. I don’t gotta team up with anyone who I ain’t wanna team up with and after Shock Value can y’all even blame me for not wanting to team up with Chris Elite? I don’t think my reasons the same as Jon Kelton’s reasons tho cuz I seem to remember Bronson Daniels showing up and doin’ he best for the longest for at least most of his run as Kelton’s partner. Maybe Kelton done got sick of his shit I know we was all sick of Elysium so maybe he did us a favor by putting it down and putting us all out our misery from having to watch they soap opera bromance dramas on a weekly basis. But my reasons for turning on Chris Elite ain’t petty at all and I think that if any of y’all were in my position you would have done the exact same thing. Cuz I done did what was necessary to wake the homie up. I didn’t even turn on him I beat his ass for his own benefit. I cut the cord and told him it is sink or swim time. Cuz I done knew he would not listen any other way. Gonna find out if he gonna listen to me this week or at Grand Rampage.
Or if it’s gonna be the same old shit.
TLA: I gotta make a good example for Javier up in here. That’s why I gotta show him that sometimes you gotta dish out that tough love to a homie. When he ain’t gonna listen any other way you gotta yell a lil louder if ya feel me. Turn the music up. Turn the volume up. Turn the TV up. Make sure it straight blastin’ cuz errybody gotta hear it. This Pain for Pride season and I am sick and tired of all y’all not respecting that. Y’all ain’t understand what it means. I am in this match this week with six people and I think that at least most of you understand that. I think that Damon Lazarus and Auburn Ware understand that. Auburn knows exactly what I am laying down and Damon knows all about that ruthlessness. He talks about wanting to change this business for the better. I got no idea what he means by that. You know this gringo shady as hell. He prolly plotting all kinds of sinister shit. But his heart is in the right place. Wants to make EAW a better place and he putting in that work to do it. He just got here and he already got it figured out more than most of y’all.
Never give up.
TLA: Never quit cuz you ain’t never really lose until you six feet under. I ain’t backing down in the Grand Rampage despite the odds. I ain’t backing down on Voltage despite the odds. I be tellin’ mi amigo Javier he best not give up neither. And that is exactly the type of shit imma be representing until the very end. We goin’ all the way to Pain for Pride. I’ve main evented it before. Imma main event it again. Shit every match that TLA in be a main event tho. I make it the main event. Got all them ojos lookin’ on wanting to see what a homie gonna do next. I keep em watching. Keep them invested they ain’t know what’s gonna happen next. The only thing they know not gonna happen is Chris Elite gonna grow some hair on that bald dome of his. But Grand Rampage? That shit be anyone’s ball game. Y’all know I am in it to win it. Greatest ever we eliminating the shit out the whole roster one by one. Takin’ y’all out. Saori Aizen says that she is the hero of hell. Well we gonna be in hell soon enough. Gonna be all up en el infierno. Burning up you know imma burn all y’all alive spittin’ them hottest flames y’all know I be spittin’. My heat finna burn the whole arena up. They lucky this a small arena cuz the casualties gonna be minimal. I hope all y’all in attendance be ready for what you bout to be walking into.
Cuz it gonna be a warzone.
TLA is shown sippin’ a Corona as he cheers for his favorite indy luchadores to win they matches. Gotta show that luv to the hermanos. TLA joins the fans in blowing air horns in the crowd. He makes sure that his air horn is positioned right next to the ear of the racist gringa sitting in front of him. This vieja gonna learn this ain’t the time nor the place for this mierda. She done fucked with the wrong one.
TLA: Aww hell nah who this gringa think she is? She here in Oaxaca texting that shit? Pinche puta. I should beat the shit outta her right here right now.
TLA has to restrain himself from getting violent and getting himself arrested for attacking an old white woman. This would probably mean he has to miss Grand Rampage so he decides to take the high road. We definitely keeping an eye out for Voltage tho she not gonna ruin Javier’s big night!
TLA: Lucha lucha lucha you know a vato finna get he lucha on. Y’all know we got them wildest fans out here. The craziest Hispanic fans in the world packin’ this arena. You know that Adam Lucas and Dr. Bethany Blue best watch out cuz we been looking for them since the last time yo boi threw down en Mexico. We out here and we reppin’ la cultura more fiercely than ever. The haters might think it won’t matter none. They might not respect it but we flyin’ that flag regardless. Gotta hold it down for mi gente cuz if I don’t do it ain’t nobody else gonna do it. They say that TLA be the Baddest Hombre on the Planet and that is something imma be defending like my life depends on it. Gonna be fuckin’ up erry opp in that ring. Getting a Grand Rampage preview in. Don’t matter who or what you are. You on that list you on TLA’s list and you gonna get that assbeating of a lifetime. You know I just see a culo and I gotta whip it. Gotta get real dangerous out there in that ring. They say that this a small town show. Small ass arena. Only a few hundred fans gonna get in. But that makes this a very special night. A very special event. Maybe some of y’all in this match gonna half ass it. Maybe the paycheck y’all get for doing a lucha indy show ain’t worth it to y’all. But for the real ones like yo boi we go just as hard for the small crowds as we be goin’ for the Pain for Pride stadium shows.
Doin’ it for the luv of the game.
TLA: It might be Semana Santa en Mexico but what imma be doin’ to y’all motherfuckers in that ring gonna be anything be holy. Gonna be a straight up demonic beat down if ya feel me. Cuz we be takin’ no prisoners out here. We goin’ harder than most we droppin’ every opp with the quickness. Cuz we just on that savage mode no doubt no doubt. When you got a bad ese like me out here just doin’ some real OG type shit you just can’t even expect what imma bust out. I be whippin’ out da AK. I be poppin’ a cap in all y’all bitch asses leavin’ y’all lying. Delivering you them papers letting you know that there be a hit put out on yo ass. This might just be yo last performance y’all best make the most of it. When you in the ring with me that is the chance of a lifetime. Best make the most of it. Might be the end of yo lifetime if you fuck it up. Might be livin’ but you dead inside cuz you know you done fucked up the biggest opportunity of yo career in the ring with a leyenda. I be giving these opportunities out with the generosity. I ain’t pulling no part timer type shit like the other oldheads around this place. I am sure they are gonna start poppin’ out the woodwork now we in Pain for Pride season. They comin’ back to stat pad and flex they legado. Pero yo boi been here all year round. Gettin’ he lucha on week in and week out and if there is such a thing as ring rust…
I ain’t never had any.
TLA: Cuz I ain’t never let myself get outta practice. Always at the top of my game. Ain’t nobody can say otherwise. People be acting like I ain’t the main event no longer then they get in the ring with me and they get reminded just who the fuck I am. And imma remind everyone in this match just who I am. Even the rare person who is able to beat me like Minerva got no choice but to admit that I gave her the fight of her life gave her the fight of her career before she managed to drain the last drop of sangre up out a vato. But this week we on that comeback arc and that was like a whole year ago almost now. That was then and this is now and just cuz y’all won the last match against me don’t mean I ain’t gonna get one over on y’all this time. Cuz that is what y’all can expect from TLA. Anyone. Anywhere. Anytime. I can win. I can beat em all. Don’t matter what kind of person, champion, legend you are. I can beat em all and this week imma beat em all senseless. Some of y’all just might not make it to Grand Rampage I fear. Just might not be the show for you cuz you was unlucky enough to be in the ring across from a hardened veterano like yo boi.
Runnin’ and gunnin’.
TLA: Faster than fast y’all know imma put y’all on blast. I be deserving of a World Championship opportunity at this point. I’ve beaten most of the people who have challenged for it lately. But we ain’t be no beggar. We ain’t out here crying and moaning to be handed shit. We taking that hard road and what road is harder than the Grand Rampage? The Grand Rampage be the match that errybody in EAW says is the hardest match to win. The second hardest match to win is a match against TLA. I am sure everyone says this. Nah for real for real it is a tough ass lucha. They be saying the odds ain’t on yo side. I ain’t won this match before I’ve come real close tho. They say it’s never gonna happen. TLA should just give it up. You don’t need it holmes. Just move on and keep yo blood pressure down. But that ain’t my style. I be out here putting myself into matches I ain’t got a prayer of winning on the regular. I got matches on a weekly basis where I be fighting against the odds. Taking on all kinds of unstoppable record breaking champions and homies escorted by they entire posses basically fighting they asses five on one. But I fights them regardless cuz I ain’t one to back down. That is why what happened with Chris Elite got me feelin’ such a way. Cuz he should understand that and he should be doin’ that just as much as I am doin’ that. I am going to be watching his Oaxaca Street Fight against NICK this week real closely.
See if he shits the bed again.
TLA: Or maybe if y’all really wanna take it to the streets here in Mexico you gonna find me on those streets too. Cuz I straight run these streets out here. I got my own match to focus on tho. I got six opps to take down. Got Saori Aizen riding beside yo boi. Says that TLA lucky to have her and maybe I am. Maybe Saori gonna be the best partner that I ever done had. We gonna find out. We ain’t never know until we try. We gonna throw fists tho. That much is certain. We fighting until someone tear us down. Of course a match like this gonna be chaotic. You just know it gonna be wildin’. Gonna have all kinds of homies makin’ noise and the sad part is that me and Saori could lose this match without even being involved in the decision. Some weak ass motherfucker gonna take the pin and then the winner gonna act like they beat TLA? Fuck outta here. We ain’t about to let that happen. My name is my name and we makin’ sure my name be the name known on these streets. Gotta make sure ain’t nobody ever forget bout what we doin’. Cuz this that lucha game and we worldwide. We ain’t just restrained to Mexico no longer we taking shit over globally. Can’t stop. Won’t stop. This la cultura tonight. But we gonna be slippin’ all up in all yo casas. One by one y’all can’t keep us out. Kickin’ all them doors down.
A vato comin’ in.
TLA: Ashlynn Quinn says that TLA done turned on his partner for petty reasons. But that is just throwing stones while living in a glass house if I ever saw it. Cuz she out here teaming up with Jon Kelton who turned on his own partner for whatever reason himself. I don’t gotta team up with anyone who I ain’t wanna team up with and after Shock Value can y’all even blame me for not wanting to team up with Chris Elite? I don’t think my reasons the same as Jon Kelton’s reasons tho cuz I seem to remember Bronson Daniels showing up and doin’ he best for the longest for at least most of his run as Kelton’s partner. Maybe Kelton done got sick of his shit I know we was all sick of Elysium so maybe he did us a favor by putting it down and putting us all out our misery from having to watch they soap opera bromance dramas on a weekly basis. But my reasons for turning on Chris Elite ain’t petty at all and I think that if any of y’all were in my position you would have done the exact same thing. Cuz I done did what was necessary to wake the homie up. I didn’t even turn on him I beat his ass for his own benefit. I cut the cord and told him it is sink or swim time. Cuz I done knew he would not listen any other way. Gonna find out if he gonna listen to me this week or at Grand Rampage.
Or if it’s gonna be the same old shit.
TLA: I gotta make a good example for Javier up in here. That’s why I gotta show him that sometimes you gotta dish out that tough love to a homie. When he ain’t gonna listen any other way you gotta yell a lil louder if ya feel me. Turn the music up. Turn the volume up. Turn the TV up. Make sure it straight blastin’ cuz errybody gotta hear it. This Pain for Pride season and I am sick and tired of all y’all not respecting that. Y’all ain’t understand what it means. I am in this match this week with six people and I think that at least most of you understand that. I think that Damon Lazarus and Auburn Ware understand that. Auburn knows exactly what I am laying down and Damon knows all about that ruthlessness. He talks about wanting to change this business for the better. I got no idea what he means by that. You know this gringo shady as hell. He prolly plotting all kinds of sinister shit. But his heart is in the right place. Wants to make EAW a better place and he putting in that work to do it. He just got here and he already got it figured out more than most of y’all.
Never give up.
TLA: Never quit cuz you ain’t never really lose until you six feet under. I ain’t backing down in the Grand Rampage despite the odds. I ain’t backing down on Voltage despite the odds. I be tellin’ mi amigo Javier he best not give up neither. And that is exactly the type of shit imma be representing until the very end. We goin’ all the way to Pain for Pride. I’ve main evented it before. Imma main event it again. Shit every match that TLA in be a main event tho. I make it the main event. Got all them ojos lookin’ on wanting to see what a homie gonna do next. I keep em watching. Keep them invested they ain’t know what’s gonna happen next. The only thing they know not gonna happen is Chris Elite gonna grow some hair on that bald dome of his. But Grand Rampage? That shit be anyone’s ball game. Y’all know I am in it to win it. Greatest ever we eliminating the shit out the whole roster one by one. Takin’ y’all out. Saori Aizen says that she is the hero of hell. Well we gonna be in hell soon enough. Gonna be all up en el infierno. Burning up you know imma burn all y’all alive spittin’ them hottest flames y’all know I be spittin’. My heat finna burn the whole arena up. They lucky this a small arena cuz the casualties gonna be minimal. I hope all y’all in attendance be ready for what you bout to be walking into.
Cuz it gonna be a warzone.
TLA is shown sippin’ a Corona as he cheers for his favorite indy luchadores to win they matches. Gotta show that luv to the hermanos. TLA joins the fans in blowing air horns in the crowd. He makes sure that his air horn is positioned right next to the ear of the racist gringa sitting in front of him. This vieja gonna learn this ain’t the time nor the place for this mierda. She done fucked with the wrong one.
