MATCH PROMO Ed Infinitum So Scurred They Tried To Take Down The Site :mjlol: !!!


La Pantera Sexual
EAW Hall of Famer
The camera cuts to TLA arriving in Kuwait to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month.

TLA: Y’all know that the realest vato out always keeps it real. TLA comin’ up in here banging them big ass booty bitches. No bitches be safe. Charlie best keep an eye on Veena cuz La Pantera Sexual will snatch her ass too. Tho don’t worry yo bald lil head too much cuz you know I like a lil more seasoning with my bitches. Veena too bland if ya feel me you know that when you TLA you can afford to be picky. Only the best for a real one. Y’all know how it be. I been on an airplane you know flyin’ up and flyin’ in to Kuwait you feel me they ain’t know what about to hit em. They may have seen wrestling but they ain’t never seen wrestling like this. TLA and Cameron Ella Ava about to change the game ya feel me. We go hard doing this shit and ain’t about to let some entitled ass motherfuckers who think they got what it takes to step to us get away with steppin’ just a little too softly.

You know we finna kick them like a feral cat tryna bite on yo boi.

TLA: Imma slap the shit out of Charlie Marr and Veena Adams if she come at me. Y’all think that this whole gender segregation type shit be protecting you but it only protecting you while the match underway. You try any funny business tryna sneak attack on yo boi then you just know imma unload these manos at full force. Give Veena a real taste of the pipe and not the one she been thirsting for even. The lead pipe that is. Get it all nice and bloody up in there you know Veena ain’t walking out of Kuwait alive she fuck with me. Charlie Marr can only do so much to stop me I ain’t sure he got what it takes to protect this bitch. I’m sure she thinks she don’t need no protection but the truth is that she ain’t even gotta worry about me she gotta worry about Cameron Ella Ava first and foremost cuz you know that these bitches be wildin’. Cam giving zero fucks up in here.

Zero fucks but yall still getting fucked up.

TLA is shown trying to watch Charlie Marr and Veena Adams’ videos but the EAW website is down.

TLA: Apparently Charlie Marr and Veena Adams replied to the shit I had to say but due to technical difficulties I ain’t been able to look at none of that. To be honest I should prolly be thanking the failure of our IT department for this as nobody has time to listen to that basura anyway. I am sure that Charlie and Veena just hopped up on they high horses the whole time ranting about their superior genetics. Bringing up matches that I’ve lost and talking about how TLA doesn’t take wrestling seriously enough or some shit. You know the usual shit that people do to try and discredit me because we all know that to be successful around here you gotta be an athletic white blonde dude who hates the fans and promotes hierarchy in all their videos. Well the whole world is better off not listening to that shit. But I am sure that sooner or later we will get our shit fixed and I can reply to whatever mierda they be spewing out this week. It will be good motivation at least to beat they asses extra hard this weekend at Clash of Kingdoms anyway.

Show them they ain’t built differently.

TLA: Show them what hard work do. Show them what a real vato do. You see Charlie and Veena you think you can just come around here and do whatever you want without consequences. But that ain’t the case at all. You try and bully TLA and try to hurt TLA but you fucked up. Cuz you ain’t taken my life and you ain’t taken my ability to fight so you getting just one pissed off hijo de puta looking to put all y’all six feet under and show you what happens when you interfere with my business. When you cost me my dream of winning that World Championship and continue to protect Kassidy Heart from the Baddest Hombre on the Planet. You fucked up because you may have succeeded in protecting her. But now y’all asses the ones in danger. And I ain’t so sure Kassidy is looking to return to the favor. Nah y’all exposed and you know imma slide up in there and slice y’all throats and let that sangre flow cuz you know how it be when you come after TLA for blood you know you gotta pay.

In blood.

TLA: I wouldn’t be shocked if Veena Adams slipped some of that Adams dinero into somebody pocket in order to prevent me from watching her videos. She knows she done said some dumb ass pinche idiota type shit out here and fears that TLA will respond and own the shit out of her. They tryna take away my voice but I will not be silenced. We going to roll on in and if you ain’t going to let us talk then imma talk with my fists real quick. Fuck y’all up straight out and show you what a real Campeon do. Y’all see I got mi amiga Cameron by my side you know we had that beef before but together we will be unstoppable droppin’ haters with that quickness. Done shown just how dominant I can be on this brand before you see when I get all up in my zone ain’t nobody else wanna be up in that zone. Cuz you know el rey stay rulin’ up in that zone frfr. Y’all wanna come in my zone then you best be prepared for what that do mean cuz it mean real bad shit for all y’all.

Bad hombre shit for all y’all.

TLA: Oh god shit is still down. Imma slit the throats of the EAW IT team so that I can actually see what dumb shit my opponents are saying. This is a PPV week you know I gotta endure they lies and slander all week long or else I ain’t a real warrior. This is my duty I gotta listen and respond to they bullshit cuz who else is gonna do it? Gonna pull up on them at they casa slide on down to they mother’s basements and beat the shit outta them damn nerds. They be wasting TLA’s time and ain’t nobody waste TLA’s time. They gonna get these manos imma beat the shit outta them servers until we get EAW back up and running properly. Imma bring EAW back single handedly and imma do it for mi gente. Gonna do it for the fans. They be all deserving n shit. Y’all done left me no choice. Gotta go get my AK. Gotta go get Steroid Dawg. Finna unleash that bitch on all y’all like you all Ronan Malosi. Steroid Dawg finna get her bite on. Get them claws on.

Ain’t gonna be no survivors.

TLA: The haters want to hate and you know I just got word they got them systems back up and running so now I can hear all they hatin’ at full volume. Oh lawd I should apologize to them hard working hustlers down in the IT department. Them being shit at they job actually did spare me from having to listen to this mierda. Charlie Marr accuses me of faking my beliefs for my own gain but then doesn’t offer any proof. So we can just throw all of that shit out the window. I be keepin’ it real up in here Charlie. What belief you got a problem with? That I am all about this wrestling business and these great fans? That I be reppin’ por mi gente? That I got a beef to settle with y’all for getting involved up in my business? Nah apparently it is none of that cuz all Charlie has to offer is that during my career I’ve apparently rubbed him the wrong way. Lo siento mijo. I ain’t realized that I been living rent free in yo cabeza this whole time. Cuz been hating silently since day one and now he finally doing something about it.

Too bad he can’t do nothing about it.

TLA: Oooh big man Charlie. Finna put me in a body bag. I’m so fucking terrified omg. He’s so mad because I’ve been all successful n shit. Tell me Charles. How the fuck you know anything about how hard I’ve worked in this industry? You ain’t know shit. You ain’t been there through the struggle. You ain’t been there when I started from the bottom and had to fight my way against adversity every step of the way. You see Charlie don’t put in the hate when you the one who comes and goes every few months while I been putting the work in on this roster every chance I get wrestling against champions, Hall of Famers, y leyendas. Y’all can hate me all you want. Come at me bro. Come take your shot. You wanna put me in a bodybag? Streets need a body. Take yo shot cabron.

Many tried many failed.

TLA: You ain’t got what it takes to put me down. You out here calling me a comedy character and everything you hate. But the thing is Charlie I don’t care what you hate. I don’t do what I do for you. I don’t do what I do for Veena Adams. I couldn’t give a fuck what Kassidy Heart or Mr. DEDEDE or any of the other rich ass white motherfuckers who run this place have to think about me. Cuz I don’t do it for you. I do it for me. I do it for mi familia. I do it for each and every one of the millions and millions of TLA fans who cheer me on every single semana. Pero you know what? Even if they didn’t? I’d still do it regardless. I’d still be out here enjoying life and staying true to myself cuz I don’t back down to haters like all y’all who think that they can step in and tell people how they should live they life. Tell TLA how he should talk. Tell TLA how he should dress. Oh y’all should stop making so many jokes. Y’all should tow the company line before you get fired again. Fuck all that. Imma say what imma say and if some motherfucker got a problem.

That motherfucker can get fucked.

TLA: I am in the Hall of Fame not only because of my longevity but because of the impact I have made on this company over such a long period. I’ve won championships consistently since I have arrived here and more recently than y’all. Besides if you really want to get into championship success or lack thereof I would be looking at your partner when it comes to the four of us. Cuz I know Cameron got that gold covered. But my priorities are all wrong! I can understand why you would think that Charles. Cuz right now my priority is kicking yo culo all over Kuwait and making sure you left a bloody disgrace in front of all these people you claim to represent. You right Charlie I am different. Built differently that is. Which means that y’all just don’t stand a chance against a vato like me. Y’all so mad about me making a few jokes dawg. You’re literally seething and having a meltdown over it. You would think that these wrestlers would be used to it by now but yo they just as salty as ever. I’m sorry that I joke around too much Charlie I am just enjoying my life which from the sound of things you have never actually done. Just don’t get salty with me cuz Kassidy Heart is the only one in this company who ever found you entertaining.

Too bad now y’all just stuck being her bitches.

TLA: Speaking of fake changes of religion all this Muslim shit from Charlie is coming more outta nowhere than it did with Mr. DEDEDE. The difference between you and me is that of course to you it must be fake. To me I could really give a fuck. Explore the world bro. I know I have. If I want to explore my spiritual side and get involved in a religion imma do that even if I later decide that shit ain’t really for me. Y’all can call it fake but there is a difference. Not like I care when you ain’t even want me in this company and EAW is a religion that I been reppin’ since day one. Pro wrestling a religion I been reppin’ since before day one. You take EAW away? The lucha continues. All the EAW fans out here know just how real it’s been if this was my last fight. It’s been real y’all. But yo this ain’t the end cuz Charlie and Veena? Shit. They ain’t got what it takes to put me down. They ain’t ready to pull the trigger. They tryna play them mindgames on TLA but yo.

The cope is real.

TLA: Apparently I’m really insecure and need constant adulation to get by and should see a therapist. Charlie Marr is doing armchair psychology now? Damn bro must be rough out there. Maybe you should retire as a wrestler and pursue a psychology degree. Well actually maybe hold off on that cuz it don’t seem like you much good at that neither. What you need to understand Charlie is that it is important to keep shit positive. It is important to look on the brighter side of life. It is important to stay all tranquilo and sip an ice cold Corona now and then. Corona Hombres brew available now at stores near you! Merch plug aside tho Charlie. The mistake you made is that you seem to think that it is wrong to make jokes or being happy or positive about life and the situations you find yourself in. Sure you could just obsess over all the negative shit in your life but what is the point? You still gotta deal with it somehow. If you can find the humor and the joy in life then that is a very valuable thing Charlie and the fact you can’t handle to see someone who is happy really says it all.

Seems pretty insecure to me bozo.

TLA: What I got to be mad about? Nah life is good. I’m traveling the world wrestling in far away countries getting paid millions of pesos to do it. Merch stay booming. Bitches stay booming. Poon Palace stay booming. Am I supposed to be mad cuz I lost a match Charlie? Am I supposed to care? Am I supposed to act like this is anything I ain’t dealt with far worse than before? Nah y’all don’t know what the lowest of the lows are or how to bounce back from that shit cuz you ain’t never been knocked down that far. You ain’t understand the struggle. Who the fukc is Wyatt Holiday? Is that what you call the career breaks you take when you ain’t wrestle for months? You name it after a person? It’s just a holiday bro. Don’t get all fancy on me now. It sounds almost as cringe as you literally threatening to kill me because I made jokes about you looking like a senior citizen. You really younger than me tho dawg?

Damn prolly shouldn’t be bragging about that.

TLA: Nah nah it’s all good tho cuz errybody know that La Pantera Sexual is a fine ass sexy beast. Not every man can look this good at my age. Well I guess I am just entering my prime… But yo what does prime even mean anymore? We got old ass motherfuckers in this business doing just fine. I’m sure gonna be doing just fine. All while looking fine as fuck as well. I’m glad you’re not a QAnon supporter at least tho Charlie. That would be a shame cuz I imagine you would be pretty depressed right now with all yo loco ass conspiracy theories constantly getting destroyed. It’s also real obvious that your free ass speech was never even in jeopardy considering how much you be running yo mouth. Maybe now you can stop feeling violated by all them SJWs coming after you tryna silence you on social media tryna oppress you cuz you can’t say the N word on Twitter without getting banned.

It’s a real struggle for your people out here Charlie.

TLA: Good luck dawg you gonna need it. Y’all can talk shit about Cameron coming to back me up but I ain’t got no issues with more people wanting in on the fight. Y’all want some you just gotta show up. We gonna throw down take it to the parking lot if we gotta. Take it to the streets. I’ll fuck y’all up whenever wherever. That is if Veena Adams ever comes down from her locked up tight ass security penthouse in the clouds. Which is pretty much where her mind is from the sound of things. Prolly cuz we in Kuwait and she will get assaulted if she steps out on the streets without her husband to protect her. Cuz we all know she can’t protect herself. All she can do is her best to hide behind others and talk shit but can’t ever back it up. You hate to see it. Maybe Veena wouldn’t have to cost me championship matches against Kassidy if she could actually back up her tough talk and beat her herself.

The best you could do is get yo uncle to buy you a replica championship chica.

TLA: You can be real proud of fucking me over Veena but I hope it was worth the asswhipping you going to get. Cuz while maybe you only gotta deal with Cameron… in the match. That’s just that. In the match. This ain’t the Empire era no more amiga. I got no problems laying hands on yo bitch ass and beating the shit outta you I come across you backstage. I will fuck yo shit up and beat you until you cough all of Charlie’s jizz out yo mouth and prolly DEDEDE’s too. Cuz we know them Adams all into that incest shit. That’s only kinda a knock on DEDEDE anyway. I mean he prolly confused you for Kassidy anyway. Y’all pinche guera bitches all look the same to me! Considering your uncle’s activities I wouldn’t be throwing around accusations my way like calling me a “literal sex trafficker”. The only way that would apply is cuz you know the traffic to the Poon Palace straight up jammed cuz errybody comin’ to get some booty. Don’t be mad Veena cuz you ain’t got the kind of adoring fans that these Poons got. They living they best life and I ain’t about to let you shame them for it. Veena be like “NO! PEOPLE ARE FUCKING! THIS MUST BE ILLEGAL! THIS IS SEX TRAFFICKING! OMG!!!”. Nah Veena. Just cuz you ain’t getting any dick don’t mean that it is illegal.

The activities between you and your tio on the other hand…

TLA: Yo I ain’t judging. For all I know that shit actually is legal in this country. Y’all do y’all I guess. Maybe if you spent less time coming up with lazy ass nicknames to insult everyone and more time in the ring you could actually be a good wrestler. I mean you’re wrestling royalty right? Real shame them “superior” genes and DNA n shit is going to waste. Nah Veena I ain’t some misogynist. Just cuz I think you’re trash don’t mean I hate ALL women. Tho if all women were like you then that would be a totally different story! Nah in fact my feuds and matches with all the Ava sisters proves everything to the contrary of that. Cuz for all the beef and brutality and blood that we have had in the past there has always been that respect. So when it came time to fight you best believe Cam was a soldado ready to fight on the front lines. Have you ever been on the front lines in yo life Veena?

Or are you just always the lil bitch hiding in the back?

TLA: Y’all some entitled lil gringa cunt who thinks that she gets to decide who and what a champion is. But you don’t get to decide that. You are completely powerless and all you have done is delayed the inevitable and all you have done is knocked me down and given me one last chance to show the entire world just how damn good I am at pulling myself back up and earning my spot at the top of this company. Cuz that is the thing that idiotas like you just don’t seem to get. By making my job harder you are just giving me more and more opportunities to build mi legado. One more chance to prove to the world just what TLA capable of going through of taking down and showing why I am the Baddest Hombre on the Planet. Ad Infinitum might as well. Call yo boi that cuz that’s how long I been in the game fighting and showing the world who the baddest vato out really be. For infinity.

And beyond!


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