MATCH PROMO Forever Alonan (Showdown #2)

Charlie Marr

Disturb The Peace
I am a fat fucking loser who doesn’t pull bald off as well as Charlie Marr. My hairline is so far back that my dad hasn’t walked out on it yet. I am the biggest virgin in EAW history, I am scared to touch women and build up a real connection. I pay girls to sit next to me in photos because there isn’t a fucking chance they will do it for free. It is so pathetic that I am a grown man and I haven’t felt the supple touch of a female. I despise women because they don’t want me, I am desperate for their attention but it never seems to arrive. There isn’t a single human being that gives a fuck about me, if I died nobody would care
Look, I can make up fake quotes too. It’s not impressive, Ronan. It’s embarrassing you would go to the effort of creating such an elaborate fake quote to try and prove me wrong. You really need a fucking life, Ronan. As I have said previously, get your priorities straight. You’re focusing on all the wrong kind of shit, you’re desperate to try and make fun of me rather than looking at ways to ensure you beat me. Unfortunately for you, you’re not fucking funny and your insults are just terrible. Why are you focusing so much on something you fucking suck at? Get yourself in the facility, practice your wrestling and find out methods to beat a man that is above you. I am better than you in every single facet of the game. I am better in the ring, better on the microphone, more successful, better looking. What have you even got over me? You’re a fucking loser that will always be a loser. You’ve always been at the bottom, why do you think that will ever change? You haven’t shown anyone any kind of reason for them to believe that you might improve one day. Your actions in the lead up to this match has just displayed to the world why you will never level up and not be at the bottom. Your focus is all wrong, your head is all over the place and you don’t know how to prioritise shit. As you have said yourself, Jon Kelton is out of the picture. If that’s true, why the fuck are his balls in your mouth? As much as you want to claim you won’t be thinking about him during our match, you will be. You don’t have the mental fortitude to separate our match from all of your other problems. This is EAW, matches do not exist within their own vacuum. You cannot separate one match against a different elitist from the the rivalries that you are engaged in with others. I already know that TLA is going to try and poke his nose in this match, the same way he did in my last match against Amir Yussuf. He cost me because he got involved in something that he shouldn’t have. I have no doubt he will try and do that exact same shit after I almost committed murder last week. I am sure that you will love that TLA shows up and tries to distract me which will help you. Smile all you want Ronan but we both know that Jon Kelton is equally capable of doing the exact same shit. What are you going to do then? Not a fucking chance your eyes will be completeting focused on me when Jon Kelton is stood outside the ring, your eyes will be darting all over the place. Your brain will be going 100 miles an hour, you will not be able to focus on the task at hand. A small brain like yours cannot handle so much going on at once, you can barely focus on one thing at a time. Yet, apparently I am the one with ADHD. I can just focus on numerous issues at once, something that has been displayed throughout my career. If you want evidence of that, just look at the EAW Championship match at Road to Redemption 2019. I had five other elitists all after me and my eyes had to be darting all over the place. I had motherfuckers attacking me from in front of me, to the right of me, to the left of me and behind me. I fucking dominated my competition despite the fact that the odds were stacked against me. I only ended up losing my EAW Championship because of Malcolm Jones getting involved. You wouldn’t know what that was like would you, Ronan? You have never been a World Champion. You have never wrestled in a match of any kind of importance. You are a fucking curtain jerker and that is all you ever will be. You open the shows to wet the appetite of the fans who are desperate to see Charlie Marr in the main event. You are facing Ryan Wilson and Rebecca Blackwell while I am facing Jamie O’Hara and Kassidy Heart. We are not on the same level and don’t ever try to compare us.

Don’t lie to us, Ronan. You don’t think that I know how much EAW elitists earn? You must be forgetting that the person I am closest too has been apart of the EAW management team on a number of occasions. You’re fucking insane if you don’t think we discuss the contracts of EAW elitists. I still have access to employment hero and I can look at EAW payroll whenever the fuck I want. For a start, it gives me a price point to base my next contract negotiations on. I just take a look at what losers like Xander Payne are earning and I ask for my shit to be doubled. Not only that, we take a look at what losers like you earn and we laugh. Veena and I have spent many moments just laughing at the pittance that you earn. Not to drop EAW in it but it cannot be legal what you are being paid. We really need to bring tips into EAW to supplement your income, four year olds in sweatshops in Asia are being paid more than you. You’re at the very bottom of the hierarchy, Ronan. You’re a one percenter alright, you’re in the lowest one percent of salaried elitists in EAW. Congrats, you have finally achieved your dream. I am pretty sure Gaines is still being paid more than you and he hasn’t been in EAW for about a year. What’s this fake lifestyle you’re trying to live? You’re poor, Ronan. You live in a subsidised housing development in Gary, Indiana. People in Guantanamo bay don’t even want to live there. You’re attempting to flex all of your different vehicles, they’re cars that have been left in the local area because homeless people are setting them on fire to keep them warm. Fake it until you make it really is your motto, Ronan. Unfortunately for you, I can see right through this bullshit and I know you’re faking it. You’re a loser within the EAW universe, you’re a loser in real life and you always will be. Nobody wants you, nobody will ever want you. I don’t understand why you are bragging about how the apparent hottest girls in town want you. You live in Gary, Indiana. The only girl in town under 300 pounds is a crackhead who can’t put on weight because she can’t stomach food. That’s not really something to brag about, Ronan. Meanwhile, just look at the girl that will be accompanying me to the ring. Just take a look at the most beautiful women on the planet holding my hand on the way to the ring. You are envious of me and envious of my ability to actually speak to a woman without having a panic attack. Stop bragging about shit that just isn’t true, man. This shit is so tiresome, you know you’re a fucking loser. This faux arrogance to hide your crippling insecurities and anxiety is embarrassing. Be yourself and you might actually build a meaningful connection. If not, you will be left by everyone you care about. You will be alone forever, Ronan. Nobody wants you, not even your own mother. Just look at what she said.

“Is that Dr Blue?"

“Yes, speaking”

“I need an abortion, badly”

“Unfortunately Mrs Malosi you cannot have an abortion as your son is 32 years old”
Likes: Xander Payne


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