MATCH PROMO from undeniable to undesirable

Bea Valentine

The Eternally Depressed
EAW ROSTER
Messages
188
Points
93
Location
Therapy
(Recycling those chaotic and envious events of what happened at Pain For Pride, was Bea Valentine. To put it frankly, she was not thrilled or happy. She was very battered down, into this vulgar state. She began to speak, as you could just tell how much was off within her word.)

I was supposed to go to the top of the ladder, and retrieve the briefcase at Pain For Pride… but no. Instead of that happening, I was an IDIOT. I didn't pay enough attention.. and… and I lost. I lost. I lost. I LOST. I lost my entire opportunity to become the winner of Cash In The Vault, and now I sit here with the most disgusting and pathetic, 0-2 record at Pain For Pride. I haven't been the same ever since Grand Rampage. I don't think there is ever going to be a reality in my life where I see Gloria again, AND THAT SUCKS SO FREAKING BAD! I have lost everything to the point where as a performer, I am undesirable. All my feats at the back end of this season are just painting the picture. I am treading back down the road I was on last season, going from being this confident and foregoing competitor, to being this loser. I have zero confidence to write home about now, because it feels as if my words haven't kept up with themselves in months now! And going on such a major scale of defeat, getting knocked down again, and again, and again… the draft is coming. But like; WHO WOULD EVEN WANT ME? I have been virtually disgusting and gross all near the back half of this season. I won ONCE. ONCE. I legitimately have been so dastardly and disgusting, nothing has gone my way. I should have been promoing to you with the currency of calling myself “Madame Cash In The Vault”. But instead of that – I am standing here with nothing to write home about. I really want to just say, I don't think I have done enough to be drafted this time around. As well, I just haven't been consistent enough to end my season. Now I am going to be sent out to quite legitimately – DIE. I mean, quite seriously, what if things don't go so well for me next season, and I get sprawled out and shipped to Dynasty or Showdown? What if this entire time, my success was via the virtue of my hand being held on Voltage? These are tough and borderline negative questions, but it is so difficult for me to not stand here in a pit of worry. What person starts their career 0-2 at Pain For Pride? Sure I can establish the fact – I have never been pinned at Pain For Pride. BUT WHY AM I LOSING SO MUCH NOW? If you were to tell me, “But Bea! you had such a great season beforehand, you were one of the breakout stars!”... I would tell you yeah, but I feel like my walls are closing in. My growth and depth as a champion is far past me, I have condoned and paid for my sins. I knew my success would not last forever, absolutely. But my failures have legitimately continued to keep me choked on the ground. I once felt like I was on the trajectory to become a HALL OF FAMER! Now I am nothing more than a HALL OF LAMER. I was going to enter season 18 with the best mindset plausible. I was going to have Gloria 2. We were gonna cash in and get Gloria 3. And it was gonna be special… BUT I AM AN IDIOT. AND DONOVAN DUKE IS A ROCK CLIMBER. I'll have you know, I have embedded that in the back of my mind. I am going to learn how to rock climb, and that shit will NEVER happen to me again! The embarrassment I felt knowing I lost at Pain For Pride.. watching the man who had time and time again, gotten one over me, watching my hopes and dreams.. die. This one is personal, I am never gonna forget it. I am never going to let that leave my mind. I want to really say that I can build off the end of my season, and use it as motivation but.. This isn't the Bea Valentine from last year who duked you out with a “SIKE.” I was lying all along.. see?

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No heart or inspiration to even do so after my clinical failures. And now the anxiety in the pit of my stomach is harboring, Bea! Not only are you fighting for your brand to get the #1 overall draft pick, you are fighting the guy who won Rookie Of The Year over you, and the man who WON at Pain For Pride, unlike you. And it is like oh dear. If things couldn't potentially get any worse in my going favor, it's like congratulations, Phoebe. You have done all this for Voltage over the past year, and we admire and thank you for everything that you have pulled off… Now if you wouldn't mind love, care to go ahead and just fight for possibly your replacement? Against a guy who beat his opponent, in fact he didn't defeat his opponent. HE COLONIZED HIS OPPONENTS ENTIRE MATCH! He made British Strong Style rules into the Kelton rules! And Michael Machina lost at Pain For Pride, so this is just gonna make him angrier, and ahh.. I don't know where to start. I have spoken on my shortcomings, but it's hard for me to not act like every fault of it is my own. I took full responsibility, and I did dumb things. But I want to never be this woman again, once the dust settles in season 18. I don't think there's gonna be room for that meteoric Bea Valentine ascension in season 18 however. And it really, really sucks 😞! I have a chip on my shoulder, but breaking it off is going to be so much harder. I have shown I can be special, but I don't think I have shown if I can be great. Not until my own personal grievances air away. Until I get that victory of assurance, I am always an emotional mess after defeat. But to talk all that and still lose? My approach to this triple threat will be difficult, because if I were to talk trash, it'd just be another embarrassing situation! And I don't want to have a defeated mental state, that rapidly destroys me–

WHATEVER. I AM JUST GOING TO SAY WORDS!

I know that over the last little bit, Jon Kelton was stuck in this purgatory of facing British chavs. Or roadmen, whatever you want to call those crude imbeciles. Regardless of that, he was probably going to be main eventing Pain For Pride if it weren't for the British, but not only did he stand his own empire, but he SLAYED those chavs. That was an all timer performance, that truly showed that country it's declining state. He was pinned in a position where – He had the rules against him, he was all alone, and he toughened it up, because he's a beast! I am proud of him, I am very proud. He showed that through trial and tribulation he is a legendary top of his class Elitist. Albeit, with that said, that just makes me feel even more demoralized. He colonized an entire match type and sent Daryl Kinkade back to the United Kingdom. Meanwhile, I lost to a man from OKLAHOMA. It is funny though looking at it through the glass lens, Kelton was fighting a British invader, who wanted to invade his career and purpose! Now we are having this pseudo Territorial Invasion match, where the winners brand takes their replacement. But whatever, we'll suffice. Any other week Mr. Jonathan, this would have been a week of epic proportions for me. I was meant to be here hanging onto my briefcase, slathering my tongue all over Gloria 2, from top to bottom. But I really can't say much. How am I supposed to insult you? Feels like my only line of defense is beating the dead bush. I am expected to topple you with heightened words and intensity. But it's incredibly difficult and daft for me, so I am just going to have to try and beat the shit out of you in the ring. I will put the vision of Donovan Duke in my head, hanging on for dear life, and unhooking that briefcase… AS I BEAT YOUR ASS. I really don't know what else to do about this situation, because you should be able to enjoy yourself at this point Jon. You won the National Elite Championship last Pain For Pride. You beat the British at this one, and there is probably a small sake of you not being entirely satisfied with it. You want to be selected high, and maybe you will! But I am not given the privilege to set back and relax on my pillar of Pain For Pride wins. I am given only a choice of selection, 9dds are that if you and Mike win – You may be the first 5 selected! I am in imminent danger as I may approach the Social Stream yet again…. But, it's okay. It's fine. I think. I guess. I'm going to swoon in and show my worth, that I don't belong on such nefarious means by winning this match! I will pack my punch, as truly I have more fighting and biting for than someone like Jon Kelton does right now. He is transcending down his path to the inevitable, I am just trying to stay employed and not get a notification on Social Stream that I have been drafted! Sorry if I have to rain on your parade, but yet again this is another season where Bea Valentine has to dig herself out of purgatory. Zero momentum edged into my name, but just this eternal idea. I am still at the end of the day – The Queen Bea! And I will somehow get myself out of this hole. With a tone setting win…

Somehow..

Because I am not the only one in this match who lost at Pain For Pride. But that was inevitable for Michael, he was meant to lose so he could ascend to those brighter heights and places. He is meant to be a future World Champion. Because he has that handsome and picture perfect face, that is supposed to be on a poster of course!! But not only that, he takes part in being a psychotic and handsome bastard that tears anyone in half with the Bullet From Hades. And the issue granted is that, he is what I really wish Bea Valentine could be. This is not only a star, BUT A STAR. A true face that everyone is scrambling to act like they made, Machina has all these people stepping up to the plate to say that “I made Michael Machina”. And “I gave him the keys to the kingdom”. When he did that with his only inspired merit, unlike what all these vultures wanna collect credit for. I wish I had people trying to do that for me, but of course I don't have that hefty level of consistency like he does. He legitimately was one of the LAST people to ever pin Jamie O'Hara, in a huge major way, and I am ripping my shirt off and celebrating when I defeat fucking MITSU! I am jealous of Michael Machina, not gonna act like this isn't the truth. In a way we mirror one another, but mine is like the negative effects of Michael Machina in the way he is the positive effects of Bea Valentine! He defeated his opponent at Grand Rampage. He walked out of the show as a champion, he broke the record, he did every bloody thing! To the point where when he lost at Pain For Pride.. It wasn't even a loss. Sure he lost at Pain For Pride..

Who is going to give a flying fuck in 6 months when he's already hoisting another championship in the air?

I don't really know how to go about it. I could say “haha you lost to 3 red deaths”. But that was a war, and it took the very best of BRAE to kill Michael Machina. I looked like a pudgy idiot who didn't realize Donovan Duke is a spider monkey who can rock climb! But ahh.. damn. I am so upset, because my career is at a standstill. No one even finds me hot or irresistible like they once did. I don't think I am ever going to beat the Gloria allegations, because she was everything AND she completed me. But, but, but, there is a giant romper here. Let's beat about the bush, Michael and Kelton are vying for nothing really. This is business for them, this is make or break, DO OR DIE FOR ME. If I lose, I don't know what will happen, because virtually I might be the biggest schlemiel in the books of EAW. But ah, I don't know. I just hope for the best from this point on, maybe it will fall into my hands. I want to be smart about this, but at the same time – I don't want to be defeated and say “why even bother”... 2023 Bea Valentine would be slapping me in the face, and kicking Michael Machina and Jon Kelton in the dick, but for me? I just gotta figure it out. I think I will be okay beyond hearing the response, usually if I am insulted, I get angry and throw all these depressive mood swings out of the window. I may have BPD the more I think about it. Or I am just passionate, or both. Or– whatever. At the end of the day, I don't feel like I was robbed of the briefcase, I just wasn't smart enough, and I screwed myself over. Donovan got what he wanted, and I am plagued with that Pain For Pride season curse. I don't know what I am doing wrong, but dammit I gotta figure it the fuck out! I have no other choice, with all the worry in the world of my future, with basically zero control.. I just gotta hope and pray.
 

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