- Messages
- 96
- Points
- 33
The days are drawing closer when I will participate in the biggest match of my life. It's been a long journey, and at this point I think a lot of people have started doubting me. I think a lot of people are starting to forget that I was New Breed Champion for a while, and it's becoming a distant memory. At some point, yes, I have to do something else. I can't live in that blissful moment where I won a championship and was able to present it to my pride and joy. I do it to myself, though. All the doubt that's being cast down on me. It's not like I don't understand it. You get put into big spots and fail, what do you expect to happen? I don't deserve what I do not earn. And the more that things don't go my way in the matches I find myself in, the more I don't deserve anything at all. I want to earn the respect of not only Ahren but everyone here. I don't want to be a lost cause, I don't want to be a charity case. I want to pull myself off the mat and make the strides that I need to in order to make Ahren proud. To make myself proud. None of this matters if I'm not completing the challenges put in front of me. So I look at that big Elimination Chamber, the structure that has caused numerous injuries, and I just need to take it out of the equation. I enjoy inflicting pain, I enjoy fighting, but the moment takes hold of me, I think. I need to remove myself from the moment, the eyes, the judgment, and just do what I'm capable of doing. I haven't ever found myself in a moment this big, against legends and former champions. So it'll be easier said than done of course, but with Ahren having my back, anything is possible. And I don't want this constant failure to loom over my head. I was New Breed Champion, great! That was AWESOME! It was everything that I could ever dream it to be. And yet, it means nothing at all. The biggest, most special moment in my life means nothing at all, and there's nothing I can do to bring it back. And I shouldn't want to bring it back, because I can't live in the past. I need to move forward. I need to see the chamber as my next big step, because it's as big as it gets. The Elimination Chamber is the night, the moment, that solidified my GOAT as the GOAT! He won the EAW Championship in a chamber, and I can envision myself doing the same thing. It's a different trajectory, it's a different timeline, but I'm ok with skipping timelines for the greater good. So we'll see what happens. Some people don't even need to win to make a big impression, and although I wouldn't want that to be me, I would rather just make that big impression by winning. I just stopped being a rookie not THAT long ago. I'm still considered young, probably inexperienced, but that doesn't mean anything. No more excuses, no more bullshit that is going to keep me stuck in the same spot that I continue to find myself in. Sure, I'm in a bigger match than I've ever had, and even this week, it's huge. But who cares??? Does Ahren care? I would hope not, because what good are these matches if I continue to show up, and do nothing with them?
This week, I'm against two of the greatest EAW wrestlers of all time. DDD, and Drake King have accomplished more in this company than just about everyone. There are two wrestlers who, if you beat them, you can put your name on the map. You can literally beat anyone if you can beat DDD and Drake King. So even before the chamber match, I'm finding myself in a big situation here. Even if I can't really trust my teammate, I find the whole concept of teaming with some random dude to be strange. It all adds up to something good for me, honestly. It's a match to wet the palate and make sure that I'm ready for the big match that is on the horizon. And if I lose this one? I can review what went wrong and do better next time. BUT! I am not going into this match with any thought that I could even possibly lose. I need them to put me in the ground. I need them to show no mercy to me, make me scream in pain, and make me not be able to take anything else. That's what I want. I want to be tortured like no one has ever tortured me before. So that I know what I'm getting myself in the future. So that I can leave this match with no regrets, and I know that I'm on the right path come the Elimination Chamber. I mean it's Drake King and DDD that we're talking about here. I'm aware of the rivalry that they have. I'm aware that they probably won't be able to get along, and if I just turn that switch off, and not worry about the random guy watching me from the corner, then everything will be all oogly goo!
Like I said, I know the standing I find myself in the eyes of others. I'm not unaware of the fact that I haven't accomplished this, and haven't accomplished that. I know. And I don't want pity, I don't want lying, I don't want anything from anyone, honestly. So when you, Drake King, tell me that I don't have the standing of a Rex McAllister or a Limmy, that doesn't mean much to me. I'm not an idiot; I know that I have much more to prove than anyone else in that match. I know that even if Limmy and Rex have been struggling as of late, just like me, it doesn't mean as much. They are successful; they have shown what they can do. I'm the mystery. I'm the wildcard that no one expects anything out of because I haven't done it before. That's fair, and that's fine. I don't want to live off the success of Ahren. His successes aren't mine; that wouldn't make sense. Although I will say that my successes are his, because without him, there is no me. I understand where I am, and I understand what I must do. I have to be the toughest person in the match. I have to take on all the punishment and just get up. That's all I have to do. Take the pain, take everything that could be given, and just refuse to lie down. Find my opportunities to inflict as much pain as humanly possible, and maybe, just maybe, shock the world. That's what it'll take. I need to shock the entire planet in order to do what I want to do, and that's fine with me. I find myself in a position that I never thought I'd be able to find myself. I never thought I'd be in EAW, much less an Elimination Chamber match, trying to push myself to the upper echelon of talent. Because this is so much more than just becoming a champion. This is becoming relevant. This is me becoming the real deal. Right now, I understand why you look at me the way you do, and as I said, it's fair. And it's matches like the Elimination Chambers where I can wash away all the doubt that takes hold over my very being. It's also matches like this one. Matches against you and DDD, where if I beat you, people will start talking. The heads will turn, and people will take notice. Does that mean I've made it? No. I'll never think that I've made it regardless I don't think. But beating two legends in one night isn't always as impressive as it sounds. Not to say that beating you two wouldn't be impressive, but let's see how it happens first. I know I'll keep my foot on your neck, but who's to say that DDD won't too?
This road to redemption means a lot to me. It literally feels like I'm trying to redeem myself. I think back to my time on Voltage, and I think of nothing but good times. Beating BRAE to become the New Breed Champion, and holding that with pride for a good amount of time, only for me to drop off a cliff since joining Dynasty. I'm fully understanding of everything right now. People can talk truthfully without it being disrespectful. Drake King, the multi-time World Champion and Hall of Famer, should be able to beat Effy McAvoy. That isn't a controversial statement. So much so that this match is almost a detriment to you. If you beat me, so what? If I actually do find a way to beat you, that becomes an embarrassment for you. Something that I'm sure you'll say you'll shake off, and have an excuse in your back pocket. But, all that to say, I'm fully understanding of everything. This match is on two totally different scales for us. For you, this is nothing. Just another random match that you'll forget by next week. For me? It could be everything. People always have these matches that they go back to, and remember when they really took off. A win against a big name, and I think back, and well, the only one that I can really definitely talk about is the one against BRAE. I need more. I need to hang my hat on something more tangible at the moment, don't I? So a win against DDD, a win against you, a win against both of you at the same time, carrying that into Elimination Chamber? I can't think of a better scenario than that. Ahren has told me his battles against you; he's won, he's lost, so he does know you. He can give me a scouting report on you from when he was a competitor. I'm not going in cold; I know how to study. And if anything, I think some things could go in my favor here. And maybe this match on Dynasty can be something bigger. I show you something that you didn't even realize lay deep within me. But maybe you already know that. Seeing as you're already coming up with reasons as to why I would get a "fluke win" against you.
This week, I'm against two of the greatest EAW wrestlers of all time. DDD, and Drake King have accomplished more in this company than just about everyone. There are two wrestlers who, if you beat them, you can put your name on the map. You can literally beat anyone if you can beat DDD and Drake King. So even before the chamber match, I'm finding myself in a big situation here. Even if I can't really trust my teammate, I find the whole concept of teaming with some random dude to be strange. It all adds up to something good for me, honestly. It's a match to wet the palate and make sure that I'm ready for the big match that is on the horizon. And if I lose this one? I can review what went wrong and do better next time. BUT! I am not going into this match with any thought that I could even possibly lose. I need them to put me in the ground. I need them to show no mercy to me, make me scream in pain, and make me not be able to take anything else. That's what I want. I want to be tortured like no one has ever tortured me before. So that I know what I'm getting myself in the future. So that I can leave this match with no regrets, and I know that I'm on the right path come the Elimination Chamber. I mean it's Drake King and DDD that we're talking about here. I'm aware of the rivalry that they have. I'm aware that they probably won't be able to get along, and if I just turn that switch off, and not worry about the random guy watching me from the corner, then everything will be all oogly goo!
Like I said, I know the standing I find myself in the eyes of others. I'm not unaware of the fact that I haven't accomplished this, and haven't accomplished that. I know. And I don't want pity, I don't want lying, I don't want anything from anyone, honestly. So when you, Drake King, tell me that I don't have the standing of a Rex McAllister or a Limmy, that doesn't mean much to me. I'm not an idiot; I know that I have much more to prove than anyone else in that match. I know that even if Limmy and Rex have been struggling as of late, just like me, it doesn't mean as much. They are successful; they have shown what they can do. I'm the mystery. I'm the wildcard that no one expects anything out of because I haven't done it before. That's fair, and that's fine. I don't want to live off the success of Ahren. His successes aren't mine; that wouldn't make sense. Although I will say that my successes are his, because without him, there is no me. I understand where I am, and I understand what I must do. I have to be the toughest person in the match. I have to take on all the punishment and just get up. That's all I have to do. Take the pain, take everything that could be given, and just refuse to lie down. Find my opportunities to inflict as much pain as humanly possible, and maybe, just maybe, shock the world. That's what it'll take. I need to shock the entire planet in order to do what I want to do, and that's fine with me. I find myself in a position that I never thought I'd be able to find myself. I never thought I'd be in EAW, much less an Elimination Chamber match, trying to push myself to the upper echelon of talent. Because this is so much more than just becoming a champion. This is becoming relevant. This is me becoming the real deal. Right now, I understand why you look at me the way you do, and as I said, it's fair. And it's matches like the Elimination Chambers where I can wash away all the doubt that takes hold over my very being. It's also matches like this one. Matches against you and DDD, where if I beat you, people will start talking. The heads will turn, and people will take notice. Does that mean I've made it? No. I'll never think that I've made it regardless I don't think. But beating two legends in one night isn't always as impressive as it sounds. Not to say that beating you two wouldn't be impressive, but let's see how it happens first. I know I'll keep my foot on your neck, but who's to say that DDD won't too?
This road to redemption means a lot to me. It literally feels like I'm trying to redeem myself. I think back to my time on Voltage, and I think of nothing but good times. Beating BRAE to become the New Breed Champion, and holding that with pride for a good amount of time, only for me to drop off a cliff since joining Dynasty. I'm fully understanding of everything right now. People can talk truthfully without it being disrespectful. Drake King, the multi-time World Champion and Hall of Famer, should be able to beat Effy McAvoy. That isn't a controversial statement. So much so that this match is almost a detriment to you. If you beat me, so what? If I actually do find a way to beat you, that becomes an embarrassment for you. Something that I'm sure you'll say you'll shake off, and have an excuse in your back pocket. But, all that to say, I'm fully understanding of everything. This match is on two totally different scales for us. For you, this is nothing. Just another random match that you'll forget by next week. For me? It could be everything. People always have these matches that they go back to, and remember when they really took off. A win against a big name, and I think back, and well, the only one that I can really definitely talk about is the one against BRAE. I need more. I need to hang my hat on something more tangible at the moment, don't I? So a win against DDD, a win against you, a win against both of you at the same time, carrying that into Elimination Chamber? I can't think of a better scenario than that. Ahren has told me his battles against you; he's won, he's lost, so he does know you. He can give me a scouting report on you from when he was a competitor. I'm not going in cold; I know how to study. And if anything, I think some things could go in my favor here. And maybe this match on Dynasty can be something bigger. I show you something that you didn't even realize lay deep within me. But maybe you already know that. Seeing as you're already coming up with reasons as to why I would get a "fluke win" against you.

