I just feel so full of filth and disgust currently. Valerie Hellstorm.. Do you know what she's going to say about that victory? She will not let that hill die, as she is going to continue to mention it until she finally croaks, guaranteed it took nearly all of La Familia, and not only that, but it took me getting hit in the head multiple times for Valerie Hellstorm to be able to pull this off. But.. My problem with all of it is, everything that rubs me the wrong way.. they all laughed at me, they all left, they took my....my......MY GLORIA... Valerie... she has her, I don't have her, yet I am the champion, but Valerie has her - this, this is the worst thing to happen ever. I feel so discouraged right now, all the confidence I had once shuffled up into nothingness. I see nothing but red and that is raged by blisteringly infuriating anger. I could even live with the nonsense of what Valerie Hellstorm did with La Familia, BUT TAKING GLORIA ON HER OWN ACCORD IS WHERE THE LINE IS DRAWN. Bullshit! That is right, fuck your filter! Until Gloria is returned to my possession, I am an angry woman. I will not stop until I am fucking vindicated! Do you know how hard I work for Gloria for a pirate wench like Valerie Hellstorm to just take it and go running elsewhere? Do you know how nice it must truly be, you can bring in all your buddies in La Familia, I swear to God, If I ever see Luis De La Rosa, I am going to rip his ears, OFF OF HIS HEAD! I just don't know what Gloria is doing right now. Valerie Hellstorm needs to be taken to the nuthouse because she's a crazy bitch! I know that they are defiling Gloria. When and or if, I ever get her back.. I am afraid that she is going to be rubbed all over nastily, and have all sorts of gross smears on her. Valerie Hellstorm is probably ruining her right now! UGH! I AM JUST SO FUCKING ANGRY. Without Gloria, what am I? What am I, without the identity of her. I went through all that, just for Valerie Hellstorm to take it away from me? ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW DAMMIT? VALERIE NEEDS TO GET LOCKED UP IN ALCATRAZ. GOOD GOD, My mind is spinning in so many different places. All I currently see is the color red, a color edged in so much blood. Because that was so traumatizing what happened. I lost in such an unfathomable way, beaten till I was bloody. And you expect me to be fucking calm about it? HAVE BLOODY NOT. All this rage however, needs to be compressed over into anger. I am carrying so much rage in my bones, that it's continuing to control me. I need to divert some of this anger, it just made me realize as well. I HAVE A MATCH ON SUNDAY. How the hell am I going to have a match on Sunday, when I don't even have a Gloria to make me look prettier? Gloria was more than half the tandem, please be serious. I have taken about 7 nerve pills, and downed a whole bottle of liquid nerve medicine. MAYBE MY OPPONENT THE FUCKING DOCTOR COULD HELP ME OUT, AND TELL ME WHY I STILL AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND! I am seeing colors, Bethany. I don't like blinking, because even when I close my eyes for a split second. I see Valerie Hellstorm behind this filter, and she has red eyes, demonic soulless eyes. She has... no heart. She is a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE human being. And in this image, she has Gloria. Gloria is scared. I am losing my FUCKING mind. God please help me. I have no consistency in body temperature, I am either too hot with anger, or too cold due to how paralyzed out of fear I am. I haven't slept at all, I smoked my last pack of cigarettes, it would really mean a lot doc, if you gave me some advice, before you started making an attempt to degrade me. Because this is just not good for me, this is honestly the worst possible week this match could have happened. I am supposed to take a deep breath, and act as if I am ready for this match with a performer like Dr. Bethany, I just ammmm NOT ready for this. But okay, I have to act like I am. O-fucking-kay, alright. Let me just try to put together the consistent workings of a monologue. Hi, Bethany.. UGH, THAT ISN'T GOING TO FUCKING WORK, BECAUSE GLORIA ISN'T HERE. THE MYSTIQUE IS GONE ENTIRELY, THERE'S NO IMPORTANCE BEHIND IT. I'VE LOST MY AURA....
I just feel so disgusting and auraless right now, knowing that Gloria is in the possession of someone who only sees her as that.. "A Championship.", when she is nothing like that. She is so much more than just a Championship, she seems so much to me. I feel empty and voidless without her. But I'm not pulling any sympathy when I have battles like these against Dr. Bethany Blue, let me just take a deep sigh, as I've had the time to recollect myself and truly consider. I may be empty, naked, looking pathetic and rough without Gloria. But a little over 100 days ago, I didn't have Gloria. I marched in here with the same damn confidence that I had prior, now none of it is here! Alright, I gotta fix that. Dr. Bethany Blue, apologies for the rambling as the week you caught me is putrid and horrendous. I remembered the time you absolutely ethered Valerie Hellstorm, I wish you were able to do that again, but anyways. I can only sit here and complain so much. But I am a very angry woman currently Doctor, and that is going to be showcased throughout this absolutely mental week. Without Gloria.. I don't know what I did wrong, for something like this to happen. But now it's time for me to do it right! I am facing one of the most dangerous and lethal women in EAW. She probably does know how to put someone down with a lethal injection too, so that just makes it even more worrisome. But contrary to popular belief, this isn't the same Bea Valentine that would fumble over her words at the sight of a much larger Elitist that has achieved more than her. I know all that stuff is out the window however, and Bethany Blue is on her own journey quite like I am. Though different, it can all be chipped towards the same. She wants to be a champion again, and I want Gloria back..
!! Okay, I really gotta refrain myself from saying that name, it's throwing me off, and I'm struggling with my words. Anyways, this match on Voltage comes after the most disgusting and pathetic week of my life. I feel like someone took a shit in my mouth, that's how bad the taste left from a week ago is. Do you know how discouraging it is, to ultimately lose to one Valerie Hellstorm? My body aches so hard, my kidneys are shutting down. BUT, ultimately a win over Bethany Blue would provide me with a better mood, source and input. I'm not gonna make this entirely about my life and whatnot. Because this match is one of the biggest ones I've had in EAW. That is why it's so much worse that it happens, ON THIS WEEK. I already know that things are going to be said, Bethany probably has assumptions already about me as an Elitist. I just wish to clarify, ignore and descend on all those assumptions dear, as I am absolutely NOT the woman who got beaten up so badly by La Familia last week, I am a lot better than that. I beat Princess Candice and her twin sister Cameron Ella Ava in back to back weeks, before that nonsense! If you wanna do a rewind Bethany, just look at that, cause that is a whole lot better of an assignment. I still am a pretty good Elitist, I'd suppose. Because I AM champion, I just don't have my.. this is so fucking cruel. But Bethany has probably had a whole lot worse in her career, and I could be dead right now. But what is life without---!!! anyways. I am just going to say it damn! You have a lot of ways to drive the open dagger into my wounds right now, as my heart is entirely on my sleeve! It's a clean shot to cut me in half, and I don't wish for pity and mercy. But I want it to be prominent that if you are going to take those cheap shots, you are gonna have to fight me to get towards them! I am so angry, after losing to one wench Valerie Hellstorm, that the next Elitist I face, I could probably knock them out cold with one punch! AGH, things are going to get better, because defeating Miss Bethany can be that proper stepping stone that last week, was a product of the system. It was all entirely due in part to the lucky circumstances of having friends. It must be nice having friends to help you in EAW, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER BEA, YOU'RE JUST RAMBLING.The worst part about all this is, tomorrow is Valentine's day, the HOLIDAY that they named after me, and I am Glorialess and nothing is right. I had plans to go out and party, and enjoy life. Now I will be stuck inside of a room with nothing to enjoy, god it's painful. It's agonizing, but it's just life. Bethany you really did get the worst week to face me. You got me at my lowest in EAW, losing to Valerie Hellstorm has significantly made me more emotionally unstable than I already am, and when I am emotionally unstable, I am not afraid to do anything to anyone! And with that said, you may be able to pick me apart, but that glare in my eyes is just pure blood red. All I envision is the look of 70 Valerie's laughing at me. And that is going to make me throw so many harder punches out of anger! It's just not fair, but nothing is fair in this life it seems! People get invited into anything, and they get to participate all happy and go lucky, like what the hell? There should be a proper system put into place for Elitists. God is always giving me the toughest battles
, I am facing a certified generational Elitist on a week I am my most grumpy, my most discouraged, and my most embarrassed. It was hard to even put makeup on this morning and look at myself in the mirror, all I saw was an empty woman. It makes me really consider the fact that I am going one on one with an Elitist that can shut me down in about 5 seconds. That's how golden Bethany is, and I am here to tally up some confidence. So you know what, I think I have to take a different approach to all of this. I have to take the "Fuck it, I have nothing to lose approach". I will be walking into this match with Bethany, and she is going to absolutely give me her all, but luckily the pain for me right now is so numbing, her all might not even hurt. A slap to the face only is a pinch of what my heart feels without Gloria. I would rather get shot in the face with a bottlerocket than ever experience the generational trauma I felt last week. You know Bethany, actually. Maybe I need this, maybe I'm just an overdramatic lady who is acting ridiculous because her "Fake Trophy" was taken away from her, and I should realize it's not the championship that makes the champion, it's the champion that makes the championship. BUT PLEASE, it would be really nice if you said some harsh hurtful things, that really got me contemplating my life and the choices leading up towards it, it would help me so much, because right now I just feel so dry and dull. It's an unexplained feeling. If you could help me morally strain my focus more on life, and this match, it would mean a lot. Insult me and my intellect, because I want every single thought to be about Bethany and not about what La Familia is doing to my baby right now. Please. And do me another favor, and while I still have intent to win, It'd be much appreciated if you held back just enough, but still hurt me just enough, that I'd be too distracted by the pain, that my focus would be on it. This is a rare opportunity Bethany, have you ever seen someone lay down like a deer in headlights? Granted, I'm going to get up and move a little bit, because I don't wanna lose this match 
, but it would mean a lot for me to get my ass kicked psychically, as psychical pain would drown out the emotional pain, and that is the best case scenario for me. I have had a humble pie slammed down my gullet, and It was Kiwi, and I am allergic to Kiwi. I just think I'll be okay. I drew some very disturbing pictures, all of them are me poisoning Valerie Hellstorm , but this is just worst case scenario..I'm sure I'm not the first Elitist to get their baby taken away, but the sentiment is so much different with me. I am a very emotional woman, you get to Gloria, you break me , and that is how you take me down. This is why this is an SOS call to Bethany Blue, it's very complicated and convoluted, but any class with a PHD should be able to understand what I am saying, but if you want it in terms, I need you to beat me up. BUT NOT SO BAD, like just rough me up a bit. But just enough that, if you are focused, and I am focused, we can make good decisions from this, and then I have enough pain to distract me, I can swoop in, do a bit better. Then all will be okay! I may sound like an absolute masochist and man woman right now, but that is the lifelink between myself and Gloria. I just need something to wash the taste of failure out of my mouth. I am a very emotional loser, a very sore one at that. So yeah Bethany, this is just me giving you a few free shots, but not entirely all the shots, because then? I would just be an idiot. It is important for me to keep on my toes, but I just need something to numb the pain , and I know a woman, that is as smart as you are, as you have a PHD, should be able to comply, as you know all the places it hurts, without causing all too much damage. For that I say, you know, I'm not a Doctor, or anything like that. BUT, I did get asked to play one in a soap opera before. I declined it, as I felt the market wasn't consistent enough. So that practically meant, It would be Doctor going up against Doctor. But you know, this is a great opportunity for the both of us! A little tune up match, as the french say. We both get what we want, and in the end, I can wake up in the morning and cry my eyes out, not because of being empty inside without Gloria, but due in part to the indomitable pain of Bethany trying to rip my arm off. And that is a much better situation to be in, so with that being said. Good luck, I forward and await your response, a no is okay. It would be a shame, but it's okay to say no. And please keep me in your prayers, as my emotional state isn't the greatest right now. I'll try and recuperate, maybe eat some ice cubes. But just know, I WILL HAVE MY JUSTICE! NONE OF THIS WILL HAPPEN IN VEIN! I PROMISE!
