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Ronan is sitting down backstage sometime after the end of the GR match unwrapping his hands
Malosi: I don’t understand, I really don’t. I did everything right, I had the golden game plan and it blew up in my face. In fact, everything’s been blowing up in my face as of late. It seems when Ronan Malosi tries to do right it just ends up being wrong, when Ronan Malosi is so close to the brass ring it ends up getting ripped from him. Tonight, I was so close to the brass ring and it was ripped from me by Terry Chambers, Andre Walker, Cage, and Shawn Sturgis. Like the cowards they are, they ganged up on me. But I can’t blame them, I understand why they ganged up on me. It was their only hope for survival, they knew that there was no way they could’ve stopped me individually. Hell, if it was one-on-one, mano y mano, a fair fight then I could’ve beaten them down with one arm tied behind my back. And anybody who doubts me on that can step in the ring with me and see how long they last. And here’s a little spoiler: not long. And do you know why? Because I’m the one of- no, try the best wrestler in EA- no, the best wrestler in the universe.
Ronan does mocking laughter
Malosi: Yeah, I said it, I’m the best wrestler in the universe. But, guess what? The best wrestler in the universe, the Hot Take King, the Cape-Town Crippler now doesn’t have a road to Pain For Pride. The best wrestler in the universe is being made to look mediocre and believe me, I’m anything but mediocre. So now the question is, what’s next Ronan Malosi. Truthfully, I don’t know. But, I do know that I’m not gonna let my career go down the toilet, I’m not gonna let it go down the drain. I do know that WHOEVER I face next better be prepared because I’m sparing no expenses, I’m taking no prisoners. Whoever I face next better realize that Ronan Malosi is gonna obliterate them where they stand. But my opponents aren’t the only ones who I wanna punch in the face, the true people I wanna beat down is you. The fans! Because after my match, my phone was blowing up. And you’d think the people would be apologetic. Ya know, like they are for everybody else not named Ronan Malosi sending me their prayers after my hard fought performance out there. Nope....instead I got tweets of people laughing at me, thanking the cowards who ganged up on me and eliminated me. Saying that Ronan Malosi winning the Grand Rampage match would’ve been the, “Worse thing ever.” Clearly, you critics don’t know what the worse thing ever is because Rex McAllister won the Grand Rampage match. Ya know, Rex McAllister that anti-draw, bland, boring, no-charisma, talentless hack won the Grand Rampage match. Then, what do I see plastered all over social media? Congratulations! “Congratulations, Rex for winning the Grand Rampage match.” Where was this energy for me? I mean, I gift you people with my Hot Takes every week and I’m met with no appreciation for it. Do any of you people know just how hard it is to be Ronan Malosi? Do any of you people know just how hard it is to come up with amazing hot takes like I do every week? No, because none of you have ever had a great thought in your heads since well...forever. I swear, it’s hard to be brilliant in an age of dummies. Everywhere I turn there’s a new idiot in my presence. I’m glad you people aren’t in attendance anymore because I was going mentally insane from seeing a bunch of ugly, miserable faces everywhere I turned criticizing and booing me. Look, I get this sounds like an attack on the EAW fanbase because it is. But, it’s not just that. This is an attack on EAW in general. Because I am their greatest performer to ever grace the ropes and I’ve been relegated to this. I’m backstage angry, and frustrated when I should be celebrating right now at the bar with the boys about my Grand Rampage win. Tonight, should’ve been the greatest night of my life. But, it isn’t due to cowards, and due to food poisoning. Yeah, I caught food poisoning and that’s why I couldn’t perform to my full potential. Believe me, when I’m at 100% I can get the job done. But enough about my ability in-ring, my ability up here should be congratulated too.
Ronan taps on his noggin’
Malosi: Because I’m smart enough to realize something that most performers don’t realize until late in their careers. I’m smart enough to realize that enough is enough....it’s time for a change. I guarantee, I promise that next time Ronan Malosi is in the ring I will run right through my opponent. And all of you watch as I go on to do what I should’ve a long time ago. And that’s win my first piece of gold in EAW. Because I’m Ronan Malosi and I’m the Cape-Town Crippler.
Ronan chuckles a bit
Malosi: People are right, it’s time I live up to that name.
Ronan gets up and throws the chair he was sitting on across the room and storms off
Malosi: I don’t understand, I really don’t. I did everything right, I had the golden game plan and it blew up in my face. In fact, everything’s been blowing up in my face as of late. It seems when Ronan Malosi tries to do right it just ends up being wrong, when Ronan Malosi is so close to the brass ring it ends up getting ripped from him. Tonight, I was so close to the brass ring and it was ripped from me by Terry Chambers, Andre Walker, Cage, and Shawn Sturgis. Like the cowards they are, they ganged up on me. But I can’t blame them, I understand why they ganged up on me. It was their only hope for survival, they knew that there was no way they could’ve stopped me individually. Hell, if it was one-on-one, mano y mano, a fair fight then I could’ve beaten them down with one arm tied behind my back. And anybody who doubts me on that can step in the ring with me and see how long they last. And here’s a little spoiler: not long. And do you know why? Because I’m the one of- no, try the best wrestler in EA- no, the best wrestler in the universe.
Ronan does mocking laughter
Malosi: Yeah, I said it, I’m the best wrestler in the universe. But, guess what? The best wrestler in the universe, the Hot Take King, the Cape-Town Crippler now doesn’t have a road to Pain For Pride. The best wrestler in the universe is being made to look mediocre and believe me, I’m anything but mediocre. So now the question is, what’s next Ronan Malosi. Truthfully, I don’t know. But, I do know that I’m not gonna let my career go down the toilet, I’m not gonna let it go down the drain. I do know that WHOEVER I face next better be prepared because I’m sparing no expenses, I’m taking no prisoners. Whoever I face next better realize that Ronan Malosi is gonna obliterate them where they stand. But my opponents aren’t the only ones who I wanna punch in the face, the true people I wanna beat down is you. The fans! Because after my match, my phone was blowing up. And you’d think the people would be apologetic. Ya know, like they are for everybody else not named Ronan Malosi sending me their prayers after my hard fought performance out there. Nope....instead I got tweets of people laughing at me, thanking the cowards who ganged up on me and eliminated me. Saying that Ronan Malosi winning the Grand Rampage match would’ve been the, “Worse thing ever.” Clearly, you critics don’t know what the worse thing ever is because Rex McAllister won the Grand Rampage match. Ya know, Rex McAllister that anti-draw, bland, boring, no-charisma, talentless hack won the Grand Rampage match. Then, what do I see plastered all over social media? Congratulations! “Congratulations, Rex for winning the Grand Rampage match.” Where was this energy for me? I mean, I gift you people with my Hot Takes every week and I’m met with no appreciation for it. Do any of you people know just how hard it is to be Ronan Malosi? Do any of you people know just how hard it is to come up with amazing hot takes like I do every week? No, because none of you have ever had a great thought in your heads since well...forever. I swear, it’s hard to be brilliant in an age of dummies. Everywhere I turn there’s a new idiot in my presence. I’m glad you people aren’t in attendance anymore because I was going mentally insane from seeing a bunch of ugly, miserable faces everywhere I turned criticizing and booing me. Look, I get this sounds like an attack on the EAW fanbase because it is. But, it’s not just that. This is an attack on EAW in general. Because I am their greatest performer to ever grace the ropes and I’ve been relegated to this. I’m backstage angry, and frustrated when I should be celebrating right now at the bar with the boys about my Grand Rampage win. Tonight, should’ve been the greatest night of my life. But, it isn’t due to cowards, and due to food poisoning. Yeah, I caught food poisoning and that’s why I couldn’t perform to my full potential. Believe me, when I’m at 100% I can get the job done. But enough about my ability in-ring, my ability up here should be congratulated too.
Ronan taps on his noggin’
Malosi: Because I’m smart enough to realize something that most performers don’t realize until late in their careers. I’m smart enough to realize that enough is enough....it’s time for a change. I guarantee, I promise that next time Ronan Malosi is in the ring I will run right through my opponent. And all of you watch as I go on to do what I should’ve a long time ago. And that’s win my first piece of gold in EAW. Because I’m Ronan Malosi and I’m the Cape-Town Crippler.
Ronan chuckles a bit
Malosi: People are right, it’s time I live up to that name.
Ronan gets up and throws the chair he was sitting on across the room and storms off
