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values - showdown #2
location - Tampa, Florida - the first real showdown for BOA.
Auburn Ware, that was certainly a response. As your mind runs around, dancing on the cusp of something beyond the newcomer, whilst still being forced to come down to my level. Expecting less than you yet in the situation of this bout, but also remaining respectful and aware of what this world could present to you at any time. It endears me to see someone so kind-hearted, so strongly willed to have a process they need to follow, to not fall into the slaughterhouse of the freak shows. Those who want to "tear one another limb by limb." I am not here to do such things; that is a silly notion. Whilst I'm sure such things can happen/ I am sure anger presents itself in very funny ways. Maybe to you, not so amusing, but I listen to something like that and can't help but smirk. One that tells the person they're facing that they're going to do something of that sort is either incredibly filled with anger, guilt, or maybe plain overall madness. Hearing things like that only tells you one of two things: you have gotten into their head, or they're overzealous about what the future holds. It's fascinating to me, Auburn, when I bobbled the head of that girl, I had this idea that I would move onto someone with this easy target, this thing I could find and pull out and understand the monster they are. Instead, it's happenstance I find myself against someone I admire, an individual who has a way of doing things, a thought process I can't do anything but dream of having. A moral code of ethics that makes you a better person than probably a whole lot of elitists. So let's talk about the points you shared with me, yes, Carrie Collins wasn't a challenge. She has nothing on the upper echelons of elitists that are present within this company & not only did I not present her as such when I bashed her head in, or threw her around like a human ragdoll. I didn't come into this week, starting my video claiming you were the same; in fact, I made it abundantly clear I knew the difference. I made it very clear from the jump, I am not treating you as anything less than you are, & that is someone with skill, someone with the will to take me down & humble me. Honest to the gods above, Ware, I think the only thing I can ultimately agree on with you is that we both expect the level we want to compete at to be nothing less than perfection, & even there we'll find differences in our wants as we are on opposite ends of the ring, to be expected. As I sat in my room, eating takeout and listening to your video, I found more hatred and disdain than I think you would like to admit. On the grander scale of things, I think you have something inside you, that killer instinct. While you uphold your moral code of ethics, whilst claiming you will do things right by the sport we compete in. I think the dog that resides in you is barking, itching & ravenously waiting to come out. As I stated prior in this video, I respect the way you see things, & I so badly wish I could see them like you, I am not in lala land. I am going to state to beat the sick-minded; you must yourself have a sick mind. When you strip the personality you have cultivated & crafted throughout the years down, bare bones & search within yourself. All you will find is ego, that goes for every soul living on earth, & ego makes people go mad, one day you won't be able to face the stars & claim this moral code anymore.
So as much as I respect it, as much as I hear those words & wish to view things through your lenses... I would never fucking do it. I would never do it because I am aware of the way that would drag me down, the way it would make me reverse into time. It's honorable, sure, but that honour will get you hurt. I didn't come into this week searching for your greatest and worst hits, I didn't watch your Pain For Pride matches, hell, I only watched the Temple Of Trials simply because I was here. Now you said that was a mistake, a flaw in the grand scheme of things due to your short tenure compared to other elitists, but I need to ask you. It's nagging at me since I heard the words escape your lips, Auburn Ware. What does it matter if I did? Maybe one day I'll listen to this back & it'll give me some sort of hardy chuckle & a face palm, I'll grasp the weight & the importance of true research. The only favor I believe in the current moment that would do for me is prepare me to expect your offense, try & understand what kind of survivor you are on the base level of it all. The only issue I find with that is, I don't care what the base level brings: so you might consider this a stepping stone to your next venture, but you & I both know very well it's different for me. So sure you'll be a tall glass of water for me to try & take down. This is privy to not just you but also me because of the experience that you have over me, something you spoke of highly. You came into Elite Answers Wrestling expecting things & I have a totally different mindset due to my core values. My values don't tell me I must know what you're going to come at me with, seeing that I love the thrill, the surprise of it all. I love the fact that when I get inside the ropes, & we face off, you must adapt to me the same way I must adapt to you, & perchance I could get a slight advantage on you knowing the baseline details of who you are, how you work, & what to expect. I find in life the best thing to expect is nothing. So yes, Auburn drawing back to my original talking point, I could have looked into every nook & cranny of what you have done up until this point, but in all reality, I don't see it changing a damn thing for me. I see things differently, my eyes are not yours & yours are not mine. Two opposite sides of the pole, a large spectrum that many elitists, I'm sure, will find themselves on.
Was I talking in circles? Sorry, I was so boring for you to listen to, suppose I may have done & glad you noticed. Tells me you at least listened to the words I spoke, so maybe that's a bore for you, it happens I said what I wanted to say & said it how I wanted to say it. Reiteration runs nobody off but the beholder who doesn't want to hear it. Perhaps it's my need to improve on my speaking, the way I word things & that'll all come with that word you loved to use in experience. I'll figure it out in my own time, my tempo will be found & it will be a matter of time. We're ever-changing as a species, Ms. Ware. Every small minute thing we do affects the people we become, & as I said in my last video, I only hope that this is a learning curve for me. Winning versus losing, this sure will give me a boost & might let the others know in the back & those who are watching at home see I'm serious. Know I am not here to play the part of a competitor but be one. I'm almost sure a win against you doesn't guarantee anything but the fact you will have lost, & we will both move on, & that works both ways. Not to say I am coming in with low expectations, or without my held as high as possible. I am just being realistic, grounded, or I mean shit, it doesn't truly matter the word I use, circles, I guess, right? The only thing that will actually carry weight is in the moment, when you look into my eyes & I look into yours. We both see what the will of the other is, you can tell a lot about someone when you see into their eyes. Almost like a short passage way to the soul, the emotions, the hardships & the pain they carry. It takes a smarter level of individual to see those finer details, but we're both here, aren't we? Classified as elitists among the very best of this craft, despite the very truth, you & everyone else just don't know if I'm cut from the same cloth yet.
You're right, Kennedy Street wouldn't have just picked up anybody to be on her roster. You gave me far too much credit entirely too quickly, though, & I assume you only did it to be nice, as that seems to be the bravado in which you carry yourself. I just want it to be clear, I am only capable of handling my present & my present is sitting in this rank hotel, awaiting our bout. Wondering as I stare into the sky, what kind of person is actually behind the mask of Auburn Ware. What kind of deeper struggles do you carry? How much anger is the so-called perfectionist allowed to present? Speaking of that word perfect, I love that word, but I think we share an admiration for it for entirely different reasons. In truth, the way you interpret it kind of pisses me off. I find the word perfect as something so far beyond us it's an impossible high to reach, therefore making it the best high one can get. I truly fathom that as the peak of the preverbial mountains we all want to reach, while I heard you use it as if it's something attainable. It's not. Oh, how I wished it was, I pray it was, & I think it's almost sick that you & I, the rest of the world, every living soul will never feel that high. We only get to a certain point before tumbling down to reality, hitting our heads & we start back at the low. In the absence of perfection will always be a struggle. In the very definition of the word, we are all struggling & were made to be. So while we found equal footing on agreeing it's childish semantics to ignore the fact we struggle, that's simply coping for others, exactly how I view your striving for perfection against mine. Moving on, you're respectful & hard to dislike, while I still have my minor gripes against you, Auburn. You're a sweetheart who has gained my respect before the battle has even begun, something not many people besides a select few have ever done. I found myself feeling disrespected at points hearing you speak, only to realise I would have said the same, but worse in your shoes. So I decided to only live in that fallacy for a moment or two before digesting the words in whole & understanding that line. Fairytales, they're fucking lovely, but they'll only get you hurt. Dreams can be fascinating, but only lead you to the source if you're willing & nightmares will only haunt you if you look back. So I live my now to the fullest, so again, unlike you, in the big old' circle you love so much. I will never claim that I'll fucking beat you or you won't catch me off guard like the feeble claim you made against me. I don't know what BOA wakes up to do tomorrow besides deliver what the "Boar Of Notre Dame" always has, and that's unrequited violence.
You and I have a story to tell, one that only ends in one side happy and the other in heartbreak. Sadly, we can't know things before they happen. What I do know now is, I want to smack you across your skull as hard as humanly possible & see what you deliver back. As you said, I love to be hit, & I fucking love returning the favor. Not your value, but mine.
Aren't values an amazing thing, Ms. Ware? Values.
location - Tampa, Florida - the first real showdown for BOA.
Auburn Ware, that was certainly a response. As your mind runs around, dancing on the cusp of something beyond the newcomer, whilst still being forced to come down to my level. Expecting less than you yet in the situation of this bout, but also remaining respectful and aware of what this world could present to you at any time. It endears me to see someone so kind-hearted, so strongly willed to have a process they need to follow, to not fall into the slaughterhouse of the freak shows. Those who want to "tear one another limb by limb." I am not here to do such things; that is a silly notion. Whilst I'm sure such things can happen/ I am sure anger presents itself in very funny ways. Maybe to you, not so amusing, but I listen to something like that and can't help but smirk. One that tells the person they're facing that they're going to do something of that sort is either incredibly filled with anger, guilt, or maybe plain overall madness. Hearing things like that only tells you one of two things: you have gotten into their head, or they're overzealous about what the future holds. It's fascinating to me, Auburn, when I bobbled the head of that girl, I had this idea that I would move onto someone with this easy target, this thing I could find and pull out and understand the monster they are. Instead, it's happenstance I find myself against someone I admire, an individual who has a way of doing things, a thought process I can't do anything but dream of having. A moral code of ethics that makes you a better person than probably a whole lot of elitists. So let's talk about the points you shared with me, yes, Carrie Collins wasn't a challenge. She has nothing on the upper echelons of elitists that are present within this company & not only did I not present her as such when I bashed her head in, or threw her around like a human ragdoll. I didn't come into this week, starting my video claiming you were the same; in fact, I made it abundantly clear I knew the difference. I made it very clear from the jump, I am not treating you as anything less than you are, & that is someone with skill, someone with the will to take me down & humble me. Honest to the gods above, Ware, I think the only thing I can ultimately agree on with you is that we both expect the level we want to compete at to be nothing less than perfection, & even there we'll find differences in our wants as we are on opposite ends of the ring, to be expected. As I sat in my room, eating takeout and listening to your video, I found more hatred and disdain than I think you would like to admit. On the grander scale of things, I think you have something inside you, that killer instinct. While you uphold your moral code of ethics, whilst claiming you will do things right by the sport we compete in. I think the dog that resides in you is barking, itching & ravenously waiting to come out. As I stated prior in this video, I respect the way you see things, & I so badly wish I could see them like you, I am not in lala land. I am going to state to beat the sick-minded; you must yourself have a sick mind. When you strip the personality you have cultivated & crafted throughout the years down, bare bones & search within yourself. All you will find is ego, that goes for every soul living on earth, & ego makes people go mad, one day you won't be able to face the stars & claim this moral code anymore.
So as much as I respect it, as much as I hear those words & wish to view things through your lenses... I would never fucking do it. I would never do it because I am aware of the way that would drag me down, the way it would make me reverse into time. It's honorable, sure, but that honour will get you hurt. I didn't come into this week searching for your greatest and worst hits, I didn't watch your Pain For Pride matches, hell, I only watched the Temple Of Trials simply because I was here. Now you said that was a mistake, a flaw in the grand scheme of things due to your short tenure compared to other elitists, but I need to ask you. It's nagging at me since I heard the words escape your lips, Auburn Ware. What does it matter if I did? Maybe one day I'll listen to this back & it'll give me some sort of hardy chuckle & a face palm, I'll grasp the weight & the importance of true research. The only favor I believe in the current moment that would do for me is prepare me to expect your offense, try & understand what kind of survivor you are on the base level of it all. The only issue I find with that is, I don't care what the base level brings: so you might consider this a stepping stone to your next venture, but you & I both know very well it's different for me. So sure you'll be a tall glass of water for me to try & take down. This is privy to not just you but also me because of the experience that you have over me, something you spoke of highly. You came into Elite Answers Wrestling expecting things & I have a totally different mindset due to my core values. My values don't tell me I must know what you're going to come at me with, seeing that I love the thrill, the surprise of it all. I love the fact that when I get inside the ropes, & we face off, you must adapt to me the same way I must adapt to you, & perchance I could get a slight advantage on you knowing the baseline details of who you are, how you work, & what to expect. I find in life the best thing to expect is nothing. So yes, Auburn drawing back to my original talking point, I could have looked into every nook & cranny of what you have done up until this point, but in all reality, I don't see it changing a damn thing for me. I see things differently, my eyes are not yours & yours are not mine. Two opposite sides of the pole, a large spectrum that many elitists, I'm sure, will find themselves on.
Was I talking in circles? Sorry, I was so boring for you to listen to, suppose I may have done & glad you noticed. Tells me you at least listened to the words I spoke, so maybe that's a bore for you, it happens I said what I wanted to say & said it how I wanted to say it. Reiteration runs nobody off but the beholder who doesn't want to hear it. Perhaps it's my need to improve on my speaking, the way I word things & that'll all come with that word you loved to use in experience. I'll figure it out in my own time, my tempo will be found & it will be a matter of time. We're ever-changing as a species, Ms. Ware. Every small minute thing we do affects the people we become, & as I said in my last video, I only hope that this is a learning curve for me. Winning versus losing, this sure will give me a boost & might let the others know in the back & those who are watching at home see I'm serious. Know I am not here to play the part of a competitor but be one. I'm almost sure a win against you doesn't guarantee anything but the fact you will have lost, & we will both move on, & that works both ways. Not to say I am coming in with low expectations, or without my held as high as possible. I am just being realistic, grounded, or I mean shit, it doesn't truly matter the word I use, circles, I guess, right? The only thing that will actually carry weight is in the moment, when you look into my eyes & I look into yours. We both see what the will of the other is, you can tell a lot about someone when you see into their eyes. Almost like a short passage way to the soul, the emotions, the hardships & the pain they carry. It takes a smarter level of individual to see those finer details, but we're both here, aren't we? Classified as elitists among the very best of this craft, despite the very truth, you & everyone else just don't know if I'm cut from the same cloth yet.
You're right, Kennedy Street wouldn't have just picked up anybody to be on her roster. You gave me far too much credit entirely too quickly, though, & I assume you only did it to be nice, as that seems to be the bravado in which you carry yourself. I just want it to be clear, I am only capable of handling my present & my present is sitting in this rank hotel, awaiting our bout. Wondering as I stare into the sky, what kind of person is actually behind the mask of Auburn Ware. What kind of deeper struggles do you carry? How much anger is the so-called perfectionist allowed to present? Speaking of that word perfect, I love that word, but I think we share an admiration for it for entirely different reasons. In truth, the way you interpret it kind of pisses me off. I find the word perfect as something so far beyond us it's an impossible high to reach, therefore making it the best high one can get. I truly fathom that as the peak of the preverbial mountains we all want to reach, while I heard you use it as if it's something attainable. It's not. Oh, how I wished it was, I pray it was, & I think it's almost sick that you & I, the rest of the world, every living soul will never feel that high. We only get to a certain point before tumbling down to reality, hitting our heads & we start back at the low. In the absence of perfection will always be a struggle. In the very definition of the word, we are all struggling & were made to be. So while we found equal footing on agreeing it's childish semantics to ignore the fact we struggle, that's simply coping for others, exactly how I view your striving for perfection against mine. Moving on, you're respectful & hard to dislike, while I still have my minor gripes against you, Auburn. You're a sweetheart who has gained my respect before the battle has even begun, something not many people besides a select few have ever done. I found myself feeling disrespected at points hearing you speak, only to realise I would have said the same, but worse in your shoes. So I decided to only live in that fallacy for a moment or two before digesting the words in whole & understanding that line. Fairytales, they're fucking lovely, but they'll only get you hurt. Dreams can be fascinating, but only lead you to the source if you're willing & nightmares will only haunt you if you look back. So I live my now to the fullest, so again, unlike you, in the big old' circle you love so much. I will never claim that I'll fucking beat you or you won't catch me off guard like the feeble claim you made against me. I don't know what BOA wakes up to do tomorrow besides deliver what the "Boar Of Notre Dame" always has, and that's unrequited violence.
You and I have a story to tell, one that only ends in one side happy and the other in heartbreak. Sadly, we can't know things before they happen. What I do know now is, I want to smack you across your skull as hard as humanly possible & see what you deliver back. As you said, I love to be hit, & I fucking love returning the favor. Not your value, but mine.
Aren't values an amazing thing, Ms. Ware? Values.
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