MATCH PROMO winnie the pooh: blood and honey [KOE #002]

Bea Valentine

The Eternally Depressed
EAW ROSTER
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The scene would open, as we see Bea Valentine elsewhere in a secluded room, she had a DVD in her hand. She nodded, examined the DVD. Everything looked good to her.

Everything looks good here darling. I am going to watch my first ever Disney movie. I spent a full day at the park, it is pivotal that I embed myself in this newly bred culture. “Wilford The Pooh: Blood And Honey”. I don't know what the plot of this movie is, but it has to do with gynecologists and honey. I think that's very intriguing, Gloria honey.. what do you think?

Gloria: …………

Do you really think so?

Gloria: …………

Mon dieu, I don't know dear. That does sound propaganda-ish. The movie is Rated R, I assume that means R, for REALLY FUN. I am excited to witness this movie first and forehand. I want to give my conditional review on it, and grasp the opinion of Princess Candice. So without further ado, it's time to play the film. I really hope this is, CINEMA. Or else!

Bea Valentine was soon watching the movie, as she was watching one of the generic poorly directed scenes early on in the movie.

WoAH GLORIA DON'T LOOK! SHE HAS HER TITS OUT! BUT CHIN NOT UP! JUST TITS OUT!!!

Bea Valentine covered Gloria's eyes, as Winnie The Pooh, the loveable cartoon bear, was revisioned in this murderous blood lust live action. He was going on a murderous rampage. And Bea Valentine? She was loving every ounce of it.

OH MY GOODNESS. THIS IS AMAZING! HE JUST KILLED THE GIRL WITH HER TITS OUT! Wow! Wilford is so menacing and scary.. I probably wouldn't play this for my children however, but I understand mental maturity at a young age. Princess Candice, why were you gatekeeping this movie? This is actually phenomenal! Like, my favorite movie of all time, if you didn't know this about me – Was The Human Centipede 2! BUT, this has overruled that for me! My new favorite movie is Wilford The Pooh: Blood and Honey! I LOVE THIS MOVIE! I love Wilford so much too, what a zany little bear he is, running around and doing mischievous things. Why wasn't he at Disney World that day? I really wanted to meet him 😞! He might be my hero, you know, if Gloria had been a boy, I would have named her Wilford in honor of this fellow!

Winnie The Pooh would brutally slaughter people in cold blood, as Bea Valentine looked on. It was all gory, graphic, as you would expect for the most part. But the reaction Bea Valentine gave was—

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! GLORIA ARE YOU SEEING THIS! HE JUST BUTCHERED THE WOMAN 🤣🤣🤣🤣!! HE MURDERED HER SO BADLY WOWOWOWOWOWOWO!!

Bea Valentine held her stomach in laughter, as the mentally ill woman was drawn to absolute tears by the scenery. But then; the movie ended after a hop in the scenery. Bea Valentine wiped her tears as she looked at the camera. So upset.. but why was that?

Can't believe I am about to say this dear. I am actually amazed. I never thought in my life, I would give my support to a Disney film.. Matter of fact, I always was disgusted when someone would say.. "Finding Nemu.. is my favorite Disney Film". I thought it was quirky, an easy choice. Or when someone said Toy Story was their favorite! You wanna see a Toy Story, look no further than the tits on Princess Candice, you can definitely tell Walt Disney's money is spent well! I would love to meet Walt Disney soon actually, Princess Candice. I hope that you can allow me to schedule a meet n greet with the sir, Walt. Walt, I'm sure it's short for Walter. But is Disney short for Disneynold? I figured as much chérie. But I don't know what all the hostility is, you tried to say Universal Studios wasn't a Disney resort? I did my google research dear. And I mean look no further than proof. I took my own photography polaroid with Arachnid-Kid, and he is a Disney property! I think you're just stuck in one park, and you need to go out and explore all the others. You got super mad, at me, FOR EMBEDDING MYSELF IN YOUR CULTURE! What the bloody heck is your problem? You should be locked up inside a containment. You should go to Disney jail! But you know what? I tried my hardest to redeem myself here. I want to become one with the Disney. I want to be one... with the D. Hold on, that sounds disgusting. Mon dieu. Anyways.

As I was saying. I watched Wilford The Pooh: Blood and Honey. AND IT WAS UTTER PERFECTION PERSONIFIED! I just wanna commend props to the cinematography. I feel as if creativity was on another level for this match. Highlighted by what we can accomplish, when we put our beautiful minds to work. Do me a favor, won't you Princess? Do you mind asking Wilford The Pooh to include me in the sequel? I even went ahead and made my own audition tape. You can give him my email as well. PhoebeHollywood@Yahoo.com, I want to be in it so bad! I hope you can put aside your hatred for Universal Studios. ALSO. WHO THE BLOODY F#€£ IS BEATRICE? GASP! I SAID A SWEAR WORD. OH NO. MY APOLOGIES, I AM SO SORRY. GLORIA DON'T REPEAT THAT- Anyways, ahem. My name is Phoebe Veronica Valentine, not Beatrice. NEVER BEATRICE. You have a lot of nerve, speaking like this. When I know for a guaranteed fact, YOUR NAME IS SHORT FOR GEOFFREY! Candice = Geoffrey it makes perfect sense! You have a masculine name, and you should be ashamed of that! I have a beautiful name. So just leave me alone. At the end of the day - Only 2 names matter in this conversation and little monologue I am having. Wilford, and Gloria. Wilford The Pooh: Blood and Honey is my favorite film of all time. There, I said it. It's crazy. But it's true. No longer Is it the second centipede… it's the first Blood and Honey. But with that being said, I made my own audition for the sequel. I would love to play it for you, Princess. Play the picture!

The scene rolled again, as Bea Valentine was sitting in front of a set background, selling the notion she was auditioning for a role. She then began to speak.

Hello, yes. I am Bea Valentine, EAW Champion and mother of 1. I am a very important factor to the process and here is a pivotal reason as to why I should partake in Wilford The Pooh: Blood and Honey. I feel as if my role can give a very charismatic boost to the movie. Something it never lacked once, but something it can very much triple down on. All things considered. So, let me establish this furthermore dear. I have kept the pages set, to see a potential synopsis for the second film. But unfortunately I can't find one, so I am going to make my own! Picture this – A feminine lead, named Candice. Who is brutally slaughtered within the first 20 minutes of the movie. I am going to put myself in her shoes.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WILFORD NOOOOO, WILFORD LEAVE ME ALONE– AGHHGGGGGKK NOOOOOO I'M DYINNGG, AGHHHH I'M DEAD..”

Bea Valentine fell to the floor, as if she had a dagger in her heart, she soon stood up after a long period of time. As she took a deep breath, brushing herself off. As she ended the video. It panned back to her in modern day now.

Please Candice. If you get me a role in the sequel, I would rightfully so, allow you to call me Beatrice again! It would mean a lot to me, it's a passion project. But not only that, but my life's dream. To be an on screen character that Wilford slaughters. That's my dream, it really is. But you know what else I dream about? Gloria making a cameo in said movie, making her acting debut. That may be the greatest thing to happen, ever! I am asking for your help, believe it or not. In fact I will only minimally slander you, until you get back to me on it, Princess Candice. I want this so bad 💔! I don't know where the T-Bone even really comes from between us in the first place!

Gloria: ……..

What is that dear? Oh, it's because of how people will say “We have beef”. I didn't want to say beef, so I said T-Bone, it's the same difference– Okay you know though Gloria. Even though what Candice might say, contrary to popular belief. How do I know that it's even Candice making a proclamation of these said things? Like can the government prove it? How am I unsure that it isn't her twin sister saying these blasphemous things? There's no affirmation, nor confirmation. So please, just forgive me honestly in my opinion! I want to be in the Wilford The Pooh movie! It's at the point where when our match happens, I am going to be asking you about Wilford every second! So just accept and give me what I want, and then I'll give you what you want! Wait, no. That sounds like I'd be tucking it within my tail, and allowing you to have Gloria. But that is incorrect. You don't deserve her ❤️. But you know what you do deserve? Actually I don't know. I don't care enough in taking that much of a deep dive around you. You've kind of made your whole personality wanting my Gloria, and unfortunately that cannot happen 😞! But you know what? I can give you affirmation that you are a pretty individual. You are also very... I don't know sheesh, JUST GET ME A ROLE IN WILFORD THE POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY!! Don't disappoint me, I will be so heartbroken 💔! You have the power to mend together my wildest dreams. Out of the kindness of my heart, this isn't me speaking, knowing that I am better than you. As a woman who has defeated so many individuals that are your superiors. I speak to you; as a friend. I know that I am greater than you in every faucet of the imagination, but I won't display that and make it immeasurably obvious, because I am a nice person. I have something to gain from this. My wildest dreams! And you know what you gain? Uhh.. a smile on my face! And I have such an infectious, contagious smile. AND YOU CAN CALL ME BEATRICE. I may cry a little bit, and rip my hair out, but as long as you make it quick, it won't be so painful. And I'll have you know baby girl, you can be so braggadocious all you wish, about coming up victorious in a wrestling ring, or even a bloody Disney park! but you know what? I have went through- Exploding barbed opportunity ladder Valerie Hellstorm on a pole match! Heck in a cells, I was on a glass rope, WHATEVER A GLASS ROPE WAS! I'M STILL FIGURING IT OUT! I survived an Extreme Elimination Chamber. I have popped off on every occasion given, and with Pinocchio rooting against me, victory is my only mindset! Let's see who gets it done, and let's see who is coping and crying? Bippity boppity boo ~ but please, don't take my disrespect to harshly. I am just a competitive spirit ❤️! Please consider me for Wilford The Pooh 🥺
 

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