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"Every Elitist is similar in their baseline.
At our core, we all want the same thing.
However, to boil one thing down to its core defeats the entire purpose of why they’re doing what they’re doing, no? No one person is simply the core of themselves. No one person is just the foundation. That’s the way I see it. Yeah, ARIA wanted to become Universal Women’s Champion, it was a “need” for her. Same for Usagi. I’ll excuse my criticisms toward their cadence, because they say that for just about any match, and take it at face value. So many others want to become the Universal Women’s Champion. They dream of it. They desire it. Dr. Bethany Blue. Harper Lee. Hikari Kanno. Caroline. Madison Kaline. Candice Blair. Cameron Ella Ava. Veena Adams. Bea Valentine. Milli Banks. Sienna Jade. Miku Sakai. Raven Roberts. Ms. Extreme. Any other example you used. We all desire the same thing, just as you do. However, realistically, to isolate information, to isolate their desires, to isolate their approaches, does that not derive from their very aspirations? I’d say so. You can compare me to ARIA, or Usagi, or Kass, or anyone else you’ve beaten, and you can do so by linking our goals. That we all want to become Universal Women’s Champion, and that our stories are similar. Whether or not that’s true, simply saying “you’re like them” isn’t enough to justify why YOU will beat ME. Because I’m not them. You know I’m not. You say I’m not. My motivations, my past, my history, it could all line up with somebody else that you’ve beaten and do so to a T, picture perfect, two different pieces that fit the same spot in a puzzle. And yet… that result is not going to be the same. In this hypothetical, there could be absolutely nothing that differentiates me from ARIA. ARIA losing does not mean Holly Arrow will too. That’s just a hypothetical, though. On top of that fact, ARIA and I are nothing alike outside of wanting to become World Champion and having been betrayed. ARIA doesn’t have the edge that I have, ARIA doesn’t have the killer instinct that I have, and she certainly doesn’t have the experience that I have. That last one is irreversible, of course, I came here first, but the other two could change at any moment. And yet… all ARIA’s done is throw in a few swears. Can’t exactly say she’s any different from what she was before. I could look at her work from this very and come to the conclusion that her flaws are the same as they were back at Territorial Invasion. ARIA doesn’t have the grasp on this place like I do. Usagi? She's immature. She’s her own worst enemy. She can’t afford to blame herself for her own failures, and guess what? She’s still failing. Kassidy Heart? Just as you said, she’s far more successful than any of us, but the two and I couldn’t be any more dissimilar. Our very interactions on Showdown all those years ago proves it. Her emotional thinking, latching onto anything that may even resemble “disrespect” to her. Our personality, our ideals. It doesn’t match up.
What makes an Elitist? It’s being the full package.
And yet, to rob traits of that said “full package” to fit a point? That doesn’t work for me brother. Your incessant drive on trying to mark me like the rest of the Elitists you’ve defeated in your reign is certainly a choice, and not one that I’ll ever understand. You can repeat your points and continue trying to drive home this notion, but in the end? When I win? It’s not going to matter. I am NOT like ARIA. I am NOT like Usagi. They fell. I won’t. You can respect both of their drive and tenacity, you can even see some of those characteristics in me, but their flaws are flaws I have already shed and their strengths are twenty times stronger in my hands. I outclass those two. My time away certainly helped that, too. You mention that “some time away and renewed focus” isn’t going to change the history seen in your Championship reign, but if anything? I’d argue otherwise. I have been a failure in my own eyes for far too long, and ultimately? I do blame myself. I continue to slip up, trip on my own feet, placing a stick in front of the wheel of the bike. Whether that be through undermining certain opponents and not going into the match with the winning mindset that otherwise would have earned me the victory, whether that be limiting myself in order to work around an injury rather than letting it heal, or whether it be by refusing to understand the stakes at hand, walking into a match with rose tinted glasses, deluding myself that the one and only result is a Holly Arrow win… or, ultimately, just finding other things or people to blame for ALL of those very flaws. One way or another, I have been held back by myself, and that time away helped shed my skin. As a wrestler? I am just as capable as Elitists like yourself, Elitists like Kassidy Heart. There’s a reason I’ve constantly picked up victories that seemingly “just happened” and never went anywhere, because I am just as deadly as people like yourself. I’m not former ice ace that had to blame her friend over herself, nor am I the naive detective who has still yet gotten a true grasp on what makes this company, this “process” spin. Whether it be the likes of Rex McAllister, Cleopatra - fuck it, the entire Queen’s Court - Chris Elite, Andrea Valentine among others, I have shown that I am more than capable of putting those people down. But time and time again, I enter a sprint, and I cut myself off. I waste time blaming everything else, sour my mood, sour my mind, and those sprints get slower, and slower, and slower. I became my own worst enemy. If not for myself? I WOULD be among the likes of Ms. Extreme. I WOULD be among the likes of Minerva. I WOULD be among the likes of Kassidy Heart. I’d have done so time and time again.
I focused on a grudge with an old rival instead of going for a guaranteed contract that would earn me whatever I wanted, a match at Andrea Valentine’s Universal Women’s Championship. I shot myself in the foot.
I let myself be blinded by, instead of motivated by, my constant failures and fears, and thus ultimately came up short against Harper Lee. I shot myself in the foot.
I let my opponent get into my head after consistently undermining them heading into the Empress of Elite finals, a match I undoubtedly should have won, a crown I’d have made a legitimate use out of… I shot myself in the foot.
Time after time after time again. I am responsible for my own failures. Not here.
Minerva, there’s a reason that - despite losing to these people - my reputation has somehow been more favoured by the top of the top of this industry after it. There’s a reason names like Cameron Ella Ava have always seen something in me, but criticise the likes of Harper Lee and the Empress of Elite holder. There’s a reason why some of those people that “screwed me over” just aren’t here anymore. My potential is so much higher than a majority if not everybody in this entire company, yet I have consistently held myself back. I cannot afford to do the same thing again. That’s why, before I entered my Tyler Parker “Revenge SZN” arc, before I ever tried to do what I’ve so desperately been waiting to do in murdering Harper Lee… I came to challenge you. The absolute best at her game. I wanted to beat her fair and square. I want to prove that I am better. NOT JUST because I have been overshadowed by somebody, desperate to get that singles Championship I’ve been waiting for since I got here. NOT JUST because I have been betrayed, dealt with SO MUCH adversity, and have been at the cusp of winning the Universal Women’s Championship before… but because it would be a disservice to myself if I didn’t. Because I am on borrowed time. Because I am SCARED of the consequences that I DON’T do such a thing. I am envious of those that have. I am envious of those more successful around me. I am terrified of the idea that my trophy case only gets heavier with dust and not gold for the rest of my life. This isn’t an act of passion, an act of love, an act of wrestling LOVE. You could use a thousand and one examples, including yourself, of anybody who has achieved something I haven’t. I’d say I’d rather die than be the one Elitist not successful among my peers… but both of those options result in the same outcome. You are the x-factor. You are the one who could very well stop me from achieving that success. That could very well happen this weekend. But I’m good enough to prevent that. After all this time? I’m going to finally do it. This isn’t just… failing once at becoming World Champion. This isn’t just… wanting an opportunity after not being good enough to earn them. You know many opportunities I’ve had, that I’ve earned, but haven’t made the most out of due to my flaws? Countless. I have probably earned more opportunities than either one of your previous opponents combined and doubled, and that’s including title defences. If I were anybody else? That’d probably be detrimental to everything they say. That would probably mean they suck, right? I mean, who loses time and time and time again, yet somehow, by their sheer talent and ability alone, are still recognized as being among the upper echelon of this company… aside from me? I couldn’t name one.
I’m sure you can relate. Whether or not you can doesn’t matter to me, but I’m not going to detest whether or not you feel that way as much as I hate the term. I’m sure your losing streak means you can relate somewhat to my position, but honestly Minerva… does your story not help my point? Does your story not help WHY I’m doing what I’m doing, does your story not lend credence to everything I’m saying? I hate to sound as if I lack sympathy, I don’t, this business takes a toll and I’m sure you’re still fucking thankful that you took your career back into your own hands, but I haven’t had that luxury. Whether it be by my own faults or not, I haven’t. A little over the year isn’t a little under four. Existing for TWO years isn’t being EAW’s very own “Potential Man” meme for FOUR. Have I truly not gotten to your level of desperation? Do you truly believe that? Of course, I haven’t gone around and done what you did with New Eden, however everything I have done quite literally embodies your description of those events. I’ve been far from what I’ve wanted to be for double the time you mentioned, and throughout all of that, I have blamed everybody but myself. Kasey Kaos, the very woman you defended the title against, beat me to retain the Specialist’s Championship and she did so by using a fireball. I said I was screwed out of winning it. I started to flounder due to my deteriorating passion, and thus turned on Mary S. Atlas, and blamed HER for it. Before “gaslighting” even became a word that half of this roster had in their vocabulary, I was gaslighting my former partner into believing that everything I had done to her was her fault… and then I beat her. I stole her spotlight. I ruined her career. I deluded myself into believing it was all better. I went on to face Ms. Extreme not once, but twice, and I believed that because I had gotten rid of somebody that was holding me back, I’d win. I failed. I didn’t blame myself though. I went into King of Elite, and I got eliminated by the eventual winner. Match of the Year candidate of course but, let’s be realistic, had it won I wasn’t the one accepting that reward. Unique Opportunity Ladder Match, the same person I held a grudge against injured me, and I blamed my lack of World Championship on her for MONTHS. These themes? It was common place for me. All the way up until I returned THIS YEAR. I blamed everybody. Everybody BUT myself, and I have failed for years. This isn’t some attempt at making this the trauma olympics or anything, nor am I trying to devalue you or your belief that you relate… if anything, I’m telling YOU that I relate. If anything, you and I are in the same boat. You swore to make wrongs into rights, and until you do, nothing or no one is going to stop you from accomplishing that goal.
Ditto.
I’ve had three and a half years worth of failures. I’ve had numerous careers ruined at my hands. I’ve been responsible for a lot of my own trauma, and I know now that I am the only one that can fix it. I am the only one who can be the cure to all of my jealousy and envy. I am the only one who can actually let myself be at peace with this job that I have, and finally wrestle because I want to WRESTLE. I have to put an end to all of that constant failing, and I have to attest for all of the wrong I have done in this company. Whether they deserve to be here or not is a completely different topic entirely, but the likes of Mary S. Atlas? Becca Black? I’m responsible for the “toxic work environment” that caused them to leave. Funny? Yeah. But do I really wanna be known for that? Do I really wanna be known for bullying the locker room as I did with POTARA? Or can I do more? Different situation or not, Minerva, my answer is the same as yours. So if anything… I’m not like ARIA or Usagi, or even Kass. I have more in common with you, the conqueror, than them, the conquered. But the thing is… you’re right. There isn’t a happy ending. A lot of Elitists in my situation wouldn’t acknowledge this, and a lot of Elitists would probably try to spin it into some uplifting, motivating speech. I can very well acknowledge that this isn’t as black and white as “it could be bad but I’ll win.” It isn’t that straight forward. There is a great chance I lose here. That there isn’t a happy ending. I came into this knowing that would be the case. I RETURNING knowing that would be the case. A fire is lit under me, a chip is on my shoulder, but I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses. This could very well be a bad ending for me just as you acknowledge that it could be for you. I fear it just as much as you do. You and I both know that only one of us can walk out of this with the same thing that is the answer to both of our issues. I’m not going to continue familiarising myself with failure. It was at this very event last year, the Grand Rampage, where I got my first taste of what I aim to taste here. It was this very event that I believed was the upward climb for my career, the event that would FINALLY put an end to me constantly failing to grab the brass ring. I’m going to make that a theme. I’m going to associate overcoming obstacles with this very event. People have had Hall of Fame careers in the timespan that I’ve been fighting for this. People have entered and retired satisfied with their career in the same time frame I have been UNSATISFIED with. There is no better name to end that, than with you.
Losers like the woman that beat me at King of Elite last year have tried to make themselves “the next Minerva” or “the next Kassidy Heart” and they’ve failed because they don’t understand what that means. They'd never understand what statements such as "I'll do anything in my power to come out on top" which is why they were surrounded by asterisks, we still see that to this day with certain Elitists, I faced one of them last week. People like those, people they associate themselves with, they’d consider your toughness, how great you are, with the same things you say doesn’t define that toughness. You say you’re the toughest woman I’ll ever face and that may just be true. Not because of your muscles as you said, not your size, not your big ass, not how hot you are. As great as those qualities are, after all I’ve always referred to my size, my build, my brutality as “the basics” - it’s your devotion. It’s those same people, people like The Queen Bees, who have equated me to those very same things. Muscle, size, ass, being eye candy. I know that it’s your devotion to the Championship, to being the greatest in the world, that makes you stand above the rest. Anybody can possess those aforementioned qualities, but not everybody possesses the ability to transform themselves into industry titans like you have, and like I intend to do. It’s part of the reason I say I’m not like the names you’ve beaten already. There’s a reason one of them is reading out storybooks and the other is talking about posting their nudes, I don’t know what the fuck is going on in that Grand Rampage; but it shows me the level of dedication, the level of devotion, the people that are willing to sacrifice anything and everything to get to and remain at the peak and the people that aren’t there yet are in two entirely different realms. I can admit that for most of my career? I didn’t truly understand that. Even back at Pain For Pride, when I was being told I wouldn’t defend those belts for being nothing more than pretty; I didn’t TRULY understand WHY I felt so different to a statement like that. Now I do. “I’d do anything to come out with a win” doesn’t just mean hitting a low blow and a roll up like a lot of Elitists have convinced themselves is true. It’s situations like these. The fact that I’m walking a thin wire, capable of falling into success and failure, and the consequences of all of it… that’s exactly the devotion I have failed to show, or realise, this entire time.
I know what it means to lose here, and I know what it means to win here. Despite Grand Rampage being the headliner of this event, the stakes for Minerva vs. Holly Arrow is much higher. This isn’t a low risk high reward bout, one of us HAS to lose and whoever loses takes a heavy fucking blow. Perhaps the biggest losses of our careers one way or another. It’s certainly up there. Something like that may have been what held me back at some point, but now? One thing I aim to gain from this, is getting used to walking that line comfortably.
Putting everything on the line and still being able to tell myself…
“It’s just that the world feels so, so wonderful right now.”
Three and a half years of struggle, tribulation, adversity.
Now, my serotonin.
"Every Elitist is similar in their baseline.
At our core, we all want the same thing.
However, to boil one thing down to its core defeats the entire purpose of why they’re doing what they’re doing, no? No one person is simply the core of themselves. No one person is just the foundation. That’s the way I see it. Yeah, ARIA wanted to become Universal Women’s Champion, it was a “need” for her. Same for Usagi. I’ll excuse my criticisms toward their cadence, because they say that for just about any match, and take it at face value. So many others want to become the Universal Women’s Champion. They dream of it. They desire it. Dr. Bethany Blue. Harper Lee. Hikari Kanno. Caroline. Madison Kaline. Candice Blair. Cameron Ella Ava. Veena Adams. Bea Valentine. Milli Banks. Sienna Jade. Miku Sakai. Raven Roberts. Ms. Extreme. Any other example you used. We all desire the same thing, just as you do. However, realistically, to isolate information, to isolate their desires, to isolate their approaches, does that not derive from their very aspirations? I’d say so. You can compare me to ARIA, or Usagi, or Kass, or anyone else you’ve beaten, and you can do so by linking our goals. That we all want to become Universal Women’s Champion, and that our stories are similar. Whether or not that’s true, simply saying “you’re like them” isn’t enough to justify why YOU will beat ME. Because I’m not them. You know I’m not. You say I’m not. My motivations, my past, my history, it could all line up with somebody else that you’ve beaten and do so to a T, picture perfect, two different pieces that fit the same spot in a puzzle. And yet… that result is not going to be the same. In this hypothetical, there could be absolutely nothing that differentiates me from ARIA. ARIA losing does not mean Holly Arrow will too. That’s just a hypothetical, though. On top of that fact, ARIA and I are nothing alike outside of wanting to become World Champion and having been betrayed. ARIA doesn’t have the edge that I have, ARIA doesn’t have the killer instinct that I have, and she certainly doesn’t have the experience that I have. That last one is irreversible, of course, I came here first, but the other two could change at any moment. And yet… all ARIA’s done is throw in a few swears. Can’t exactly say she’s any different from what she was before. I could look at her work from this very and come to the conclusion that her flaws are the same as they were back at Territorial Invasion. ARIA doesn’t have the grasp on this place like I do. Usagi? She's immature. She’s her own worst enemy. She can’t afford to blame herself for her own failures, and guess what? She’s still failing. Kassidy Heart? Just as you said, she’s far more successful than any of us, but the two and I couldn’t be any more dissimilar. Our very interactions on Showdown all those years ago proves it. Her emotional thinking, latching onto anything that may even resemble “disrespect” to her. Our personality, our ideals. It doesn’t match up.
What makes an Elitist? It’s being the full package.
And yet, to rob traits of that said “full package” to fit a point? That doesn’t work for me brother. Your incessant drive on trying to mark me like the rest of the Elitists you’ve defeated in your reign is certainly a choice, and not one that I’ll ever understand. You can repeat your points and continue trying to drive home this notion, but in the end? When I win? It’s not going to matter. I am NOT like ARIA. I am NOT like Usagi. They fell. I won’t. You can respect both of their drive and tenacity, you can even see some of those characteristics in me, but their flaws are flaws I have already shed and their strengths are twenty times stronger in my hands. I outclass those two. My time away certainly helped that, too. You mention that “some time away and renewed focus” isn’t going to change the history seen in your Championship reign, but if anything? I’d argue otherwise. I have been a failure in my own eyes for far too long, and ultimately? I do blame myself. I continue to slip up, trip on my own feet, placing a stick in front of the wheel of the bike. Whether that be through undermining certain opponents and not going into the match with the winning mindset that otherwise would have earned me the victory, whether that be limiting myself in order to work around an injury rather than letting it heal, or whether it be by refusing to understand the stakes at hand, walking into a match with rose tinted glasses, deluding myself that the one and only result is a Holly Arrow win… or, ultimately, just finding other things or people to blame for ALL of those very flaws. One way or another, I have been held back by myself, and that time away helped shed my skin. As a wrestler? I am just as capable as Elitists like yourself, Elitists like Kassidy Heart. There’s a reason I’ve constantly picked up victories that seemingly “just happened” and never went anywhere, because I am just as deadly as people like yourself. I’m not former ice ace that had to blame her friend over herself, nor am I the naive detective who has still yet gotten a true grasp on what makes this company, this “process” spin. Whether it be the likes of Rex McAllister, Cleopatra - fuck it, the entire Queen’s Court - Chris Elite, Andrea Valentine among others, I have shown that I am more than capable of putting those people down. But time and time again, I enter a sprint, and I cut myself off. I waste time blaming everything else, sour my mood, sour my mind, and those sprints get slower, and slower, and slower. I became my own worst enemy. If not for myself? I WOULD be among the likes of Ms. Extreme. I WOULD be among the likes of Minerva. I WOULD be among the likes of Kassidy Heart. I’d have done so time and time again.
I focused on a grudge with an old rival instead of going for a guaranteed contract that would earn me whatever I wanted, a match at Andrea Valentine’s Universal Women’s Championship. I shot myself in the foot.
I let myself be blinded by, instead of motivated by, my constant failures and fears, and thus ultimately came up short against Harper Lee. I shot myself in the foot.
I let my opponent get into my head after consistently undermining them heading into the Empress of Elite finals, a match I undoubtedly should have won, a crown I’d have made a legitimate use out of… I shot myself in the foot.
Time after time after time again. I am responsible for my own failures. Not here.
Minerva, there’s a reason that - despite losing to these people - my reputation has somehow been more favoured by the top of the top of this industry after it. There’s a reason names like Cameron Ella Ava have always seen something in me, but criticise the likes of Harper Lee and the Empress of Elite holder. There’s a reason why some of those people that “screwed me over” just aren’t here anymore. My potential is so much higher than a majority if not everybody in this entire company, yet I have consistently held myself back. I cannot afford to do the same thing again. That’s why, before I entered my Tyler Parker “Revenge SZN” arc, before I ever tried to do what I’ve so desperately been waiting to do in murdering Harper Lee… I came to challenge you. The absolute best at her game. I wanted to beat her fair and square. I want to prove that I am better. NOT JUST because I have been overshadowed by somebody, desperate to get that singles Championship I’ve been waiting for since I got here. NOT JUST because I have been betrayed, dealt with SO MUCH adversity, and have been at the cusp of winning the Universal Women’s Championship before… but because it would be a disservice to myself if I didn’t. Because I am on borrowed time. Because I am SCARED of the consequences that I DON’T do such a thing. I am envious of those that have. I am envious of those more successful around me. I am terrified of the idea that my trophy case only gets heavier with dust and not gold for the rest of my life. This isn’t an act of passion, an act of love, an act of wrestling LOVE. You could use a thousand and one examples, including yourself, of anybody who has achieved something I haven’t. I’d say I’d rather die than be the one Elitist not successful among my peers… but both of those options result in the same outcome. You are the x-factor. You are the one who could very well stop me from achieving that success. That could very well happen this weekend. But I’m good enough to prevent that. After all this time? I’m going to finally do it. This isn’t just… failing once at becoming World Champion. This isn’t just… wanting an opportunity after not being good enough to earn them. You know many opportunities I’ve had, that I’ve earned, but haven’t made the most out of due to my flaws? Countless. I have probably earned more opportunities than either one of your previous opponents combined and doubled, and that’s including title defences. If I were anybody else? That’d probably be detrimental to everything they say. That would probably mean they suck, right? I mean, who loses time and time and time again, yet somehow, by their sheer talent and ability alone, are still recognized as being among the upper echelon of this company… aside from me? I couldn’t name one.
I’m sure you can relate. Whether or not you can doesn’t matter to me, but I’m not going to detest whether or not you feel that way as much as I hate the term. I’m sure your losing streak means you can relate somewhat to my position, but honestly Minerva… does your story not help my point? Does your story not help WHY I’m doing what I’m doing, does your story not lend credence to everything I’m saying? I hate to sound as if I lack sympathy, I don’t, this business takes a toll and I’m sure you’re still fucking thankful that you took your career back into your own hands, but I haven’t had that luxury. Whether it be by my own faults or not, I haven’t. A little over the year isn’t a little under four. Existing for TWO years isn’t being EAW’s very own “Potential Man” meme for FOUR. Have I truly not gotten to your level of desperation? Do you truly believe that? Of course, I haven’t gone around and done what you did with New Eden, however everything I have done quite literally embodies your description of those events. I’ve been far from what I’ve wanted to be for double the time you mentioned, and throughout all of that, I have blamed everybody but myself. Kasey Kaos, the very woman you defended the title against, beat me to retain the Specialist’s Championship and she did so by using a fireball. I said I was screwed out of winning it. I started to flounder due to my deteriorating passion, and thus turned on Mary S. Atlas, and blamed HER for it. Before “gaslighting” even became a word that half of this roster had in their vocabulary, I was gaslighting my former partner into believing that everything I had done to her was her fault… and then I beat her. I stole her spotlight. I ruined her career. I deluded myself into believing it was all better. I went on to face Ms. Extreme not once, but twice, and I believed that because I had gotten rid of somebody that was holding me back, I’d win. I failed. I didn’t blame myself though. I went into King of Elite, and I got eliminated by the eventual winner. Match of the Year candidate of course but, let’s be realistic, had it won I wasn’t the one accepting that reward. Unique Opportunity Ladder Match, the same person I held a grudge against injured me, and I blamed my lack of World Championship on her for MONTHS. These themes? It was common place for me. All the way up until I returned THIS YEAR. I blamed everybody. Everybody BUT myself, and I have failed for years. This isn’t some attempt at making this the trauma olympics or anything, nor am I trying to devalue you or your belief that you relate… if anything, I’m telling YOU that I relate. If anything, you and I are in the same boat. You swore to make wrongs into rights, and until you do, nothing or no one is going to stop you from accomplishing that goal.
Ditto.
I’ve had three and a half years worth of failures. I’ve had numerous careers ruined at my hands. I’ve been responsible for a lot of my own trauma, and I know now that I am the only one that can fix it. I am the only one who can be the cure to all of my jealousy and envy. I am the only one who can actually let myself be at peace with this job that I have, and finally wrestle because I want to WRESTLE. I have to put an end to all of that constant failing, and I have to attest for all of the wrong I have done in this company. Whether they deserve to be here or not is a completely different topic entirely, but the likes of Mary S. Atlas? Becca Black? I’m responsible for the “toxic work environment” that caused them to leave. Funny? Yeah. But do I really wanna be known for that? Do I really wanna be known for bullying the locker room as I did with POTARA? Or can I do more? Different situation or not, Minerva, my answer is the same as yours. So if anything… I’m not like ARIA or Usagi, or even Kass. I have more in common with you, the conqueror, than them, the conquered. But the thing is… you’re right. There isn’t a happy ending. A lot of Elitists in my situation wouldn’t acknowledge this, and a lot of Elitists would probably try to spin it into some uplifting, motivating speech. I can very well acknowledge that this isn’t as black and white as “it could be bad but I’ll win.” It isn’t that straight forward. There is a great chance I lose here. That there isn’t a happy ending. I came into this knowing that would be the case. I RETURNING knowing that would be the case. A fire is lit under me, a chip is on my shoulder, but I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses. This could very well be a bad ending for me just as you acknowledge that it could be for you. I fear it just as much as you do. You and I both know that only one of us can walk out of this with the same thing that is the answer to both of our issues. I’m not going to continue familiarising myself with failure. It was at this very event last year, the Grand Rampage, where I got my first taste of what I aim to taste here. It was this very event that I believed was the upward climb for my career, the event that would FINALLY put an end to me constantly failing to grab the brass ring. I’m going to make that a theme. I’m going to associate overcoming obstacles with this very event. People have had Hall of Fame careers in the timespan that I’ve been fighting for this. People have entered and retired satisfied with their career in the same time frame I have been UNSATISFIED with. There is no better name to end that, than with you.
Losers like the woman that beat me at King of Elite last year have tried to make themselves “the next Minerva” or “the next Kassidy Heart” and they’ve failed because they don’t understand what that means. They'd never understand what statements such as "I'll do anything in my power to come out on top" which is why they were surrounded by asterisks, we still see that to this day with certain Elitists, I faced one of them last week. People like those, people they associate themselves with, they’d consider your toughness, how great you are, with the same things you say doesn’t define that toughness. You say you’re the toughest woman I’ll ever face and that may just be true. Not because of your muscles as you said, not your size, not your big ass, not how hot you are. As great as those qualities are, after all I’ve always referred to my size, my build, my brutality as “the basics” - it’s your devotion. It’s those same people, people like The Queen Bees, who have equated me to those very same things. Muscle, size, ass, being eye candy. I know that it’s your devotion to the Championship, to being the greatest in the world, that makes you stand above the rest. Anybody can possess those aforementioned qualities, but not everybody possesses the ability to transform themselves into industry titans like you have, and like I intend to do. It’s part of the reason I say I’m not like the names you’ve beaten already. There’s a reason one of them is reading out storybooks and the other is talking about posting their nudes, I don’t know what the fuck is going on in that Grand Rampage; but it shows me the level of dedication, the level of devotion, the people that are willing to sacrifice anything and everything to get to and remain at the peak and the people that aren’t there yet are in two entirely different realms. I can admit that for most of my career? I didn’t truly understand that. Even back at Pain For Pride, when I was being told I wouldn’t defend those belts for being nothing more than pretty; I didn’t TRULY understand WHY I felt so different to a statement like that. Now I do. “I’d do anything to come out with a win” doesn’t just mean hitting a low blow and a roll up like a lot of Elitists have convinced themselves is true. It’s situations like these. The fact that I’m walking a thin wire, capable of falling into success and failure, and the consequences of all of it… that’s exactly the devotion I have failed to show, or realise, this entire time.
I know what it means to lose here, and I know what it means to win here. Despite Grand Rampage being the headliner of this event, the stakes for Minerva vs. Holly Arrow is much higher. This isn’t a low risk high reward bout, one of us HAS to lose and whoever loses takes a heavy fucking blow. Perhaps the biggest losses of our careers one way or another. It’s certainly up there. Something like that may have been what held me back at some point, but now? One thing I aim to gain from this, is getting used to walking that line comfortably.
Putting everything on the line and still being able to tell myself…
“It’s just that the world feels so, so wonderful right now.”
Three and a half years of struggle, tribulation, adversity.
Now, my serotonin.
