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I had a match with Holly Arrow last year.
That match never took place.
“Lieutenant Colonel, that makes no sense.”
I’ll explain this to you all. And I’m happy to do this.
First off, AJ…I get it, and you did everything that you needed to win that match at Voltage. It comes down to something that I said over the past year when dealing with big matches. Matches might last 20, 30, or 40 minutes….maybe more. However, all you have to do is win a set amount of moments in that match. Sure, you want to control the match, set the tempo, make your opponent plan you your strengths….you know what I mean. However, there are moments in every match that, if you can win just those, you can win the match. In other words, you can have the worst of it and still come out on top, while you could also be right 99% of the time, and still lose the match.
I have nothing but good things to say about you. You have a great future in EAW. No question.
So….I had a match with Holly Arrow last year, and that match never took place. That sounds like an oxymoron, like ‘crabgrass’ or ‘dry shampoo’.
Or ‘military intelligence’. Take it from me…..yeah. No question.
That match exists….but it can’t really be used as anything other than a moment in time. Lessons learned from that match aren’t applicable anymore to where Holly and I are at this point in time. Things that were said or done….even the aftermath at Territorial Invasion and the time afterwards can’t really be considered. Holly admitted back then that POTARA defined her and her definition of success. Now, she has a singular goal to be the best in EAW on her own terms, free of the shackles that she now sees when she thinks of what POTARA was in her life.
Now, I’m not necessarily that different, save the current battles against La Familia and my goals where Grand Rampage is concerned. Holly explained to everyone before her match with Rex that there is an element of fear that motivates her….fear of failing her goals. I’m going to give her credit and say that it isn’t fear that motivates her, because though fear can motivate you, it is also deconstructive and causes rash decisions. I think Holly is much more measured and cerebral than just running towards an uncertain future blinded by fear. I think she has set expectations for herself that are exceedingly high, and she pressures herself to make those expectations. When she fails, at least in her eyes, she feels that pressure.
Folks, that’s not fear of anything. That’s what we used to call self-determination and self-motivation. World-class athletes have that drive within them, and they do pressure themselves to succeed in the hardest of situations. That’s not fear, in my honest opinion. Is she highly driven? Sure. Is she creating a climate of pressure within herself to win? Of course, but I don’t think it’s unhealthy for her to do so.
In other words, Holly Arrow is focused on becoming the best in the fed. I can’t fault her for that. That should be the goal of everyone in this industry, and in this organization. It’s my goal, to be honest……that and representing my comrades in the American Armed Forces. If there were no representation of my Corps, and I had no commission, yet I was still in the fed, it would be my goal to be the best in the EAW. Can there be any question of that?
As per usual, I have never had anything against Holly Arrow. She gave me a match last year, and gave me a shot to prove myself at Territorial Invasion. What I proved…..well, all of you can be the judge of that, but I owe Holly for giving me the opportunity. She saw something in me at that time that she thought would be useful for Voltage. I can’t repay her for that…..but that is in the past now. Though the sentiment remains, we are in vastly different circumstances, like I said earlier. Holly isn’t looking past me this time…I’m pretty sure of that. I’m sure that she sees me differently now than she did last year, and her goals, as I stated a bit ago, are vastly different.
Last year Holly let her guard down….and like I alluded to when speaking to AJ, I won a few choice moments in that match, which was against a much better worker in Holly Arrow. That isn’t going to happen this time around. I am very sure I will have all of her attention this time, and she will be coming on all cylinders to beat me in the center of that ring 1-2-3, just as I have to plan on doing to her.
It's not rocket science what the goal is. And the odds against me are real: Holly has already earned a place in the Hall of Fame, in my opinion, jut given what she has accomplished to this point in her career. Though she has recently stated that those times are behind her and that they don’t define her, the truth is that her past to this point is marked more by her victories and successes than her alliances and perceived failures. There’s no questioning those facts, even by Holly herself, and overlooking her overwhelming successes over the past 18 months is a conscious decision on her part. She can make that choice, of course, but I will not look past the pathway that led her to the here and now, and give her credit for what she has accomplished. She deserves that credit.
Is it intimidating? Eh…..yeah. Of course. The same rule applies this year as it did last year: I’m a true underdog in this match. That doesn’t translate to fear, though: It’s wise to know your opponents strengths and weaknesses, and the threats they pose. You have to go towards the sound of the artillery from time to time, and in the EAW that means that you have to go to the ring against the Holly Arrows, and the TLA’s, and the Minerva’s. There is no choice in the matter, and you simply have to take it to them as best you can and, sometimes, go right through them if that is the path you have to take.
Once you decide on that path, as Holly herself has so clearly explained, you hold to that path and don’t deviate. Call it a battle, call it what you will: I have a plan for Grand Rampage and it involves me winning. Not showing well, but winning. Everything that I can do in order to win I will do…train harder, work harder, fight smarter, develop better tactics, or learn from what I’ve messed up at in the past….it’s all on the table. The Marine is coming to fight and win this time, because mabe the only thing that I think I can use from last year’s match with Holly Arrow is that I have the ability to win against the best in the world.
Yes, Holly. THE BEST. YOU might not think you’re in that rarified air, but I know you are. You’re top-tier talent and you have no ceiling. My peaks and best successes in this fed have never come close to yours….one win in a match you admittedly looked past. No ‘but’ about it and no denying it….admit it or not, given your present state of looking at your career, you have a legacy of great success, and it is something you can look at and be proud of, no matter your mindset.
Maybe you and I are alike in that way…..a near miss is still a miss. A ‘moral victory’ is nothing of the kind. Grand Rampage only has one ‘successful’ outcome in my mind, as does this match we have scheduled at Voltage. A win is success, and a draw or some sort of magnificent-looking loss is just that: A loss. So it’ll make me fight harder this week, knowing I’m going against the best. Like I said to AJ, I have to fight like this is my last match. I have to come out there and war against you because a loss might be the end of this short wrestling adventure I’ve been on.
I have enemies, if I can speak openly, that want nothing but to see me fail. Enemies in and out of the fed. I’m sure everyone has heard the rumors in the wrestling rags. I’ll not speak further of them, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t address them here: I’ve failed enough to be noticed, and failure, while it can be instructive and part of growth, cannot be the rule, nor even an exception. There is real pressure to win and define who I am within this great fed. That has to begin here, and it has to begin now. Everything up to this pojnt has been learning about what I am able to do in this world: I know what I am as a Marine Officer, and I know who I am as a man and an American….now, I have to prove what I am, and who I am, in the EAW ring.
It has to start now, because now is all that exists.
There was a match last year between us…..and that match no longer exists, Holly.
All due respect as always.
Semper Fi.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jane Murphy woke up and looked around, momentarily forgetting that she was NOT in a hotel room in a foreign country and somewhat surprised by the surroundings of her childhood room.
Of course, the only things that were there from her childhood was the furniture and the heavy bedspread that her grandmother has made. Still, they were drowning her in familiarity and comfort….she finally had a chance to stay with her parents for a few days: It was the first time since Christmas, and the first time she’d been able to bring Mike home with her.
For a blessed couple days, they’d sat, ate, played cards, and yammered with not a care. This morning was going to be the last day they were there before their flight to Chicago and Voltage…they would try to get back for a day or two afterwards (that was the plan) before moving on to the next event.
She looked at the clock radio’s digital display: 4:02 AM. He would be awake, probably out for a run, she mused. She rose out of bed and walked to the window that looked over the back yard, and he was out there…..looking at the stars. She sighed to herself. After over a year in close proximity, and six months after acknowledging their feelings for one another, he was still relatively cloistered. Not much more than a kiss every now and then, and though they were very close to one another, it seemed like he was holding back. She had no doubt that they were soulmates, but it was his way.
She looked on for another couple seconds, then decided to throw on some clothes and go outside with him. Who needed sleep, she mused to herself with a half-yawn. In a couple minutes, she was pulling on a pair of shoes and walking out into the dark.
“Hey,” he said as she closed the screen door. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”
She smiled, her face ethereally lit by the quarter moon and the stars. “Strange men outside my window tend to keep me awake.”
He turned to look at her. Her dark eyes, in this ghostly light, were endlessly deep. He took a breath and pulled her close, embracing her to him as he kissed her on the top of her head. “You might be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” her told her. “If I haven’t told you that I love you lately, then I love you.”
From him, that was practically gushing, and she leaned into his embrace, laying her head against his chest and closing her eyes. “I love you, too.”
“Good.”
She simply enjoyed the contact as they stood there, holding each other, and she asked, “Are you OK?”
“Yeah…I’m fine.”
She nodded. “What’s on your mind?”
“Primarily you,” he confessed. “But that is the truth a lot of the time. EAW is, of course, and Grand Rampage. I think that General Young is going to make a concerted effort to pull the plug if I don’t perform well, and even McCoy won’t be able to do anything about it. If that happens,” he continued, taking in a breath and letting it out, “the good thing is that I’ll be redeployed to MARSOC and I’d be out of Young’s sight. I’ll probably get a command somewhere, and be able to put in whatever time I want to put in after that. I’d like to make full-bird Colonel someday.”
Murph nodded. “I believe you can….but that isn’t what you want, Mike.”
“Nope,” he quickly whispered, his voice quiet in the dark: It was like they were the only people on the planet, and in this cool night. “It’s not, Murph. I have this match with Holly Arrow this week, and then Grand Rampage. I want to win, Murph. I’m not sure how much of a chance I have, but I really want to win. This would be a signature win and would do a lot for what I’m doing for the Corps in the EAW…..”
She interrupted: “And a lot for Mike Connor. I think he’s important, too. You said it yourself, Mike. I get the selflessness, because you’re a good man and a true, honorable Marine, but if you aren’t doing this part of it at least partially for you, you’re going to fail. Mike, were you ever in a mission or deployment where you were doing what you did because you wanted to get home and see your wife and kids?”
There was silence for a few seconds. “Of course,” he said.
She pulled back from him, looking up into his face. “Mike, I love you more than I can say. You have to start thinking about this in terms of you. If you win this match, and Grand Rampage, YOU will bring whatever benefits to the Corps, to the Armed Forces….hell, even to me, Mike. It isn’t the Marines fighting these matches, it’s Mike Connor. I know the flag is there, and I hear the chants, but there’s a man bearing that flag, Mike, and it’s you. Can you fight for that man?”
She gave him that soft, knowing smile, and raised up on her toes and kissed him softly on the lips. I know,” she said to him, deep into that eye contact that they reserved only for each other, “that I would. I think it’s time for the greatest warrior I know to start.”
After a few seconds of that deep moment, she flashed a brilliant smile and indicated the house. “Let’s get some coffee going,” she suggested, and the walked back to the house together.
That match never took place.
“Lieutenant Colonel, that makes no sense.”
I’ll explain this to you all. And I’m happy to do this.
First off, AJ…I get it, and you did everything that you needed to win that match at Voltage. It comes down to something that I said over the past year when dealing with big matches. Matches might last 20, 30, or 40 minutes….maybe more. However, all you have to do is win a set amount of moments in that match. Sure, you want to control the match, set the tempo, make your opponent plan you your strengths….you know what I mean. However, there are moments in every match that, if you can win just those, you can win the match. In other words, you can have the worst of it and still come out on top, while you could also be right 99% of the time, and still lose the match.
I have nothing but good things to say about you. You have a great future in EAW. No question.
So….I had a match with Holly Arrow last year, and that match never took place. That sounds like an oxymoron, like ‘crabgrass’ or ‘dry shampoo’.
Or ‘military intelligence’. Take it from me…..yeah. No question.
That match exists….but it can’t really be used as anything other than a moment in time. Lessons learned from that match aren’t applicable anymore to where Holly and I are at this point in time. Things that were said or done….even the aftermath at Territorial Invasion and the time afterwards can’t really be considered. Holly admitted back then that POTARA defined her and her definition of success. Now, she has a singular goal to be the best in EAW on her own terms, free of the shackles that she now sees when she thinks of what POTARA was in her life.
Now, I’m not necessarily that different, save the current battles against La Familia and my goals where Grand Rampage is concerned. Holly explained to everyone before her match with Rex that there is an element of fear that motivates her….fear of failing her goals. I’m going to give her credit and say that it isn’t fear that motivates her, because though fear can motivate you, it is also deconstructive and causes rash decisions. I think Holly is much more measured and cerebral than just running towards an uncertain future blinded by fear. I think she has set expectations for herself that are exceedingly high, and she pressures herself to make those expectations. When she fails, at least in her eyes, she feels that pressure.
Folks, that’s not fear of anything. That’s what we used to call self-determination and self-motivation. World-class athletes have that drive within them, and they do pressure themselves to succeed in the hardest of situations. That’s not fear, in my honest opinion. Is she highly driven? Sure. Is she creating a climate of pressure within herself to win? Of course, but I don’t think it’s unhealthy for her to do so.
In other words, Holly Arrow is focused on becoming the best in the fed. I can’t fault her for that. That should be the goal of everyone in this industry, and in this organization. It’s my goal, to be honest……that and representing my comrades in the American Armed Forces. If there were no representation of my Corps, and I had no commission, yet I was still in the fed, it would be my goal to be the best in the EAW. Can there be any question of that?
As per usual, I have never had anything against Holly Arrow. She gave me a match last year, and gave me a shot to prove myself at Territorial Invasion. What I proved…..well, all of you can be the judge of that, but I owe Holly for giving me the opportunity. She saw something in me at that time that she thought would be useful for Voltage. I can’t repay her for that…..but that is in the past now. Though the sentiment remains, we are in vastly different circumstances, like I said earlier. Holly isn’t looking past me this time…I’m pretty sure of that. I’m sure that she sees me differently now than she did last year, and her goals, as I stated a bit ago, are vastly different.
Last year Holly let her guard down….and like I alluded to when speaking to AJ, I won a few choice moments in that match, which was against a much better worker in Holly Arrow. That isn’t going to happen this time around. I am very sure I will have all of her attention this time, and she will be coming on all cylinders to beat me in the center of that ring 1-2-3, just as I have to plan on doing to her.
It's not rocket science what the goal is. And the odds against me are real: Holly has already earned a place in the Hall of Fame, in my opinion, jut given what she has accomplished to this point in her career. Though she has recently stated that those times are behind her and that they don’t define her, the truth is that her past to this point is marked more by her victories and successes than her alliances and perceived failures. There’s no questioning those facts, even by Holly herself, and overlooking her overwhelming successes over the past 18 months is a conscious decision on her part. She can make that choice, of course, but I will not look past the pathway that led her to the here and now, and give her credit for what she has accomplished. She deserves that credit.
Is it intimidating? Eh…..yeah. Of course. The same rule applies this year as it did last year: I’m a true underdog in this match. That doesn’t translate to fear, though: It’s wise to know your opponents strengths and weaknesses, and the threats they pose. You have to go towards the sound of the artillery from time to time, and in the EAW that means that you have to go to the ring against the Holly Arrows, and the TLA’s, and the Minerva’s. There is no choice in the matter, and you simply have to take it to them as best you can and, sometimes, go right through them if that is the path you have to take.
Once you decide on that path, as Holly herself has so clearly explained, you hold to that path and don’t deviate. Call it a battle, call it what you will: I have a plan for Grand Rampage and it involves me winning. Not showing well, but winning. Everything that I can do in order to win I will do…train harder, work harder, fight smarter, develop better tactics, or learn from what I’ve messed up at in the past….it’s all on the table. The Marine is coming to fight and win this time, because mabe the only thing that I think I can use from last year’s match with Holly Arrow is that I have the ability to win against the best in the world.
Yes, Holly. THE BEST. YOU might not think you’re in that rarified air, but I know you are. You’re top-tier talent and you have no ceiling. My peaks and best successes in this fed have never come close to yours….one win in a match you admittedly looked past. No ‘but’ about it and no denying it….admit it or not, given your present state of looking at your career, you have a legacy of great success, and it is something you can look at and be proud of, no matter your mindset.
Maybe you and I are alike in that way…..a near miss is still a miss. A ‘moral victory’ is nothing of the kind. Grand Rampage only has one ‘successful’ outcome in my mind, as does this match we have scheduled at Voltage. A win is success, and a draw or some sort of magnificent-looking loss is just that: A loss. So it’ll make me fight harder this week, knowing I’m going against the best. Like I said to AJ, I have to fight like this is my last match. I have to come out there and war against you because a loss might be the end of this short wrestling adventure I’ve been on.
I have enemies, if I can speak openly, that want nothing but to see me fail. Enemies in and out of the fed. I’m sure everyone has heard the rumors in the wrestling rags. I’ll not speak further of them, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t address them here: I’ve failed enough to be noticed, and failure, while it can be instructive and part of growth, cannot be the rule, nor even an exception. There is real pressure to win and define who I am within this great fed. That has to begin here, and it has to begin now. Everything up to this pojnt has been learning about what I am able to do in this world: I know what I am as a Marine Officer, and I know who I am as a man and an American….now, I have to prove what I am, and who I am, in the EAW ring.
It has to start now, because now is all that exists.
There was a match last year between us…..and that match no longer exists, Holly.
All due respect as always.
Semper Fi.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jane Murphy woke up and looked around, momentarily forgetting that she was NOT in a hotel room in a foreign country and somewhat surprised by the surroundings of her childhood room.
Of course, the only things that were there from her childhood was the furniture and the heavy bedspread that her grandmother has made. Still, they were drowning her in familiarity and comfort….she finally had a chance to stay with her parents for a few days: It was the first time since Christmas, and the first time she’d been able to bring Mike home with her.
For a blessed couple days, they’d sat, ate, played cards, and yammered with not a care. This morning was going to be the last day they were there before their flight to Chicago and Voltage…they would try to get back for a day or two afterwards (that was the plan) before moving on to the next event.
She looked at the clock radio’s digital display: 4:02 AM. He would be awake, probably out for a run, she mused. She rose out of bed and walked to the window that looked over the back yard, and he was out there…..looking at the stars. She sighed to herself. After over a year in close proximity, and six months after acknowledging their feelings for one another, he was still relatively cloistered. Not much more than a kiss every now and then, and though they were very close to one another, it seemed like he was holding back. She had no doubt that they were soulmates, but it was his way.
She looked on for another couple seconds, then decided to throw on some clothes and go outside with him. Who needed sleep, she mused to herself with a half-yawn. In a couple minutes, she was pulling on a pair of shoes and walking out into the dark.
“Hey,” he said as she closed the screen door. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”
She smiled, her face ethereally lit by the quarter moon and the stars. “Strange men outside my window tend to keep me awake.”
He turned to look at her. Her dark eyes, in this ghostly light, were endlessly deep. He took a breath and pulled her close, embracing her to him as he kissed her on the top of her head. “You might be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” her told her. “If I haven’t told you that I love you lately, then I love you.”
From him, that was practically gushing, and she leaned into his embrace, laying her head against his chest and closing her eyes. “I love you, too.”
“Good.”
She simply enjoyed the contact as they stood there, holding each other, and she asked, “Are you OK?”
“Yeah…I’m fine.”
She nodded. “What’s on your mind?”
“Primarily you,” he confessed. “But that is the truth a lot of the time. EAW is, of course, and Grand Rampage. I think that General Young is going to make a concerted effort to pull the plug if I don’t perform well, and even McCoy won’t be able to do anything about it. If that happens,” he continued, taking in a breath and letting it out, “the good thing is that I’ll be redeployed to MARSOC and I’d be out of Young’s sight. I’ll probably get a command somewhere, and be able to put in whatever time I want to put in after that. I’d like to make full-bird Colonel someday.”
Murph nodded. “I believe you can….but that isn’t what you want, Mike.”
“Nope,” he quickly whispered, his voice quiet in the dark: It was like they were the only people on the planet, and in this cool night. “It’s not, Murph. I have this match with Holly Arrow this week, and then Grand Rampage. I want to win, Murph. I’m not sure how much of a chance I have, but I really want to win. This would be a signature win and would do a lot for what I’m doing for the Corps in the EAW…..”
She interrupted: “And a lot for Mike Connor. I think he’s important, too. You said it yourself, Mike. I get the selflessness, because you’re a good man and a true, honorable Marine, but if you aren’t doing this part of it at least partially for you, you’re going to fail. Mike, were you ever in a mission or deployment where you were doing what you did because you wanted to get home and see your wife and kids?”
There was silence for a few seconds. “Of course,” he said.
She pulled back from him, looking up into his face. “Mike, I love you more than I can say. You have to start thinking about this in terms of you. If you win this match, and Grand Rampage, YOU will bring whatever benefits to the Corps, to the Armed Forces….hell, even to me, Mike. It isn’t the Marines fighting these matches, it’s Mike Connor. I know the flag is there, and I hear the chants, but there’s a man bearing that flag, Mike, and it’s you. Can you fight for that man?”
She gave him that soft, knowing smile, and raised up on her toes and kissed him softly on the lips. I know,” she said to him, deep into that eye contact that they reserved only for each other, “that I would. I think it’s time for the greatest warrior I know to start.”
After a few seconds of that deep moment, she flashed a brilliant smile and indicated the house. “Let’s get some coffee going,” she suggested, and the walked back to the house together.
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