“When she awoke, the world was on fire.”
― Scott Westerfeld,
“EVERYTHING” MUST BE A REALLY SMALL PLACE
CHAPTER TWO
To say that this is the most important match in the careers of Pandora Paisley and Halsey Neel is a bit of an understatement. These two women know exactly what is on the line and how to get there, For Pandora especially, she made sure that this was personal after what happened between her and ARIA. It was all set and made by design, so that it would rattle Alex Myers and make them think about everything that happened, and while that might be unadvisable, the truth is, a woman like Pandora and Halsey Neel simply do not care.
But for the Hellcat, there is a lot more than that which has become a sort of badge of honor for the British Invasion, two women that plan on making the Unified Tag Team Championships about them and only them. The Grand Rampage is here, and this is the biggest opportunity either one of these ladies have ever had, and with the title on the line, and after what they did to The Jaded Hearts, it is these two who have made the biggest shockwaves and reminded everyone that no one should ever sleep on them.
Pandora though knows what she did has consequences, but she is willing to live with those since her and Halsey are two of the most dangerous women on the Showdown roster, they are also two of the most uncaring and vicious women on the Blue Brand that are will to do whatever it takes to take home the gold and if you ever bet against them, after what has occurred, it definitely is ill-advised.
The vicious vixen in Pandora Paisley is seen wearing black leather pants and knee high boots, a long sleeved white Bengal Tiger print cut off tight top, her long brunette hair straightened with the blonde highlights hanging down under a matching white Bengal tiger print pulled headband, nails polished a matte dark grey. She glares into the camera with her green cat-like eyes as if she is ready to go into this Unified Tag Team title match and spill some blood without thinking twice about it.
REC:
And takes a second ready to address her opponent, NICHOLISM, before speaking in her British accent.
“I haven’t been wrestling that long, coming in that class of 2021 and getting hurt not seven months into me career sucked, on the shelf for ten bloody months, that I was slow to get out of the gate, but then I hear some people bragging about what they have done in four years here, so I try to make sense of it, see what they really have done, and honestly mate, aside from a few little minor championships, in four fucking years?
It’s failure.
Let me clue you in on who Pandora Paisley is, since it seems like some may think that saying I am cheap, dirty, underhanded and a piece of shit, gutter trash is going to insult me, nah love, I would normally say…. Thanks? I know that I’m filth, not in the sense that I’m not clean, or take care of my hygiene or make myself up to be fucking pretty, not in that sense, but my mentality is flogged. See, I don’t fucking care about anyone except Halsey Neel, and even to a point Daryl Kinkade, we have a mutual respect for one another and an alliance, outside from that, I make sure Usagi Senshi is safe, she’s my little sister, or maybe more, who knows, but the point I’m trying to make is that painting this nasty picture of me being some sort of low life is an exact dictation of who the fuck I am, and have no problem admitting it.
I guess also learning I cannot talk about me past to get others, especially my opponents to understand me mentality a little better and see why I do the things I have done since starting here. There seems to be a slight disconnect though and because I always thought Ruler was a bit overrated, he seemed like to get more press than he should because in the grand scheme of things since 2020, name one Ruler match that stood out and everyone talked about?
I’m waiting….
And waiting…
I’ll give it a few more seconds, mate…..
…. Exactly, fucking none.
Nobody cares about a New Breed title, no one has ever had Ruler in the conversation of top wrestlers in the EAW. Not once has anyone ever seen or heard of Ruler put in the same sentence with the likes of Kassidy Heart, Minerva, Jamie O’Hara, Limmy Monaghan, Andre Walker, or Drake King. I used to think that Ruler was just a hypocrite, but shit mate, he’s a fucking liar too.
This lad is here gaslighting not just me and Halsey, he is also doing it to Alex or Alexis, whatever he wants to call them, also the EAW and especially the fans. Let’s get one thing perfectly clear right now, NICHOLISM wasn’t in line to get ANY sort of Title shot except to pad the stats of The Jaded Hearts. Ruler’s talents was not the reason they are Unified Tag Team Champions. Rulers skills is not why they hold the gold. NICHOLISM is NOT better than The Jaded Hearts, the ONLY reason they were even given a shot was because KAIZEN pretty much fucked it up and one of them got bloody canned. Ruler can’t come out here and try to change the narrative, no matter how much he tries or wants you to believe it, the wanker is a delusional prick, love. See, Ruler is one of those knobs that believes his own hype, he tries to make this huge, glorious speech about how they are a superior tag team, and much like Halsey is going to point out, doesn’t NICHOLISM have a history of getting help along the way for winning their matches? Aren’t they the recipients of luck and not skills.
I mean, look, Halsey and I will admit, we fucking cheat when we need to, we will bend the rules, The British Invasion doesn’t give two fucks about playing dirty, skullduggery is my thing, I will tell you right now that come Grand Rampage, I will pull all the stops to win, that is not weakness, that is honesty and the way I play. But let’s look back at Ruler and the exceptional class of 2022 not 2020, which lets just say he’s not even in the top 5 of them. But NICHOLISM as a whole has either used underhanded tricks to win, against teams that are paired by by Captain Charisma who are mortal enemies just to fuck with them and set up to fail, Ruler needs to hit them in the bollocks to get the “W”. Or maybe some interference on the outside to help them get another win over top stars that have feuds with others, and they decide to lend the hand and NICHOLISM wins again. So, do you ever win on your own merit and skill Ruler?
The one time you two wankers couldn’t cheat to win was against two top stars that don’t even team with one another at Territorial Invasion. I don’t care my many fucking times I’m going to say it, if it wasn’t for the British Invasion, you were not winning tag team gold. Stop trying to convince me and the rest of the EAW that you two were better than The Jaded Hearts. Even on the promos leading to that match they massacred you two. In the ring they are legends that have wiped their arses with anyone and everyone. Whether it was you or KAIZEN, Halsey and I were still going to do the same thing, mate. We had planned on jumping them to make a statement and let the lesser of two evils win the titles.
IS IT THAT HARD TO COMPREHEND, LAD!?
Don’t you fucking understand the logic behind it?
We rather face you two fucks, instead of the Jaded Hearts, but don’t try to twist shit around Ruler, saying that no matter what you two were going to win and what we accomplished didn’t make a difference. Okay, we just took out the biggest threat of the match and left her partner alone so that you two tossers could overpower, double team, and beat her, it was two against one, don’t even fucking try to paint it as anything other than that. I’d respect you more if you just fucking thanked us and moved on.
But that has always been you, right, mate?
The Ruler of Everything.
Well, everything must be a really small fucking place.
I personally do not care what you think of me and me talents, flower. I never asked for your opinion or needed it, and honestly, I have beaten some of the best as well, but I don’t go around bragging about it, here’s why. I might be a cunt, a bitch, a woman that doesn’t give two shits about anything, but I’m not going to sit here and gaslight you or anyone else. I still have a long way to go to be mentioned in the same bracket as some of those top names I said earlier, yet you think you’re up there, same with the best tag teams, right? Like The Jaded Hearts, POTARA, Heavenly Hell, The Realm, Soul Food Sunday, The Prescription…. The list goes on and on, brother, you couldn’t lace any of their boots so stop trying to kid yourself mate.
What you are is exist in the EAW. You’re not a needle mover, you’re nothing special, you’re an ugly dude with a stupid haircut that likes to talk in riddles or have this dark aura around you like you were left in the basement being fed shit like a mushroom and left in dark, and now you are living this fantasy with your wanker partner who paints half their face and throws himself around like an out of work stuntman.
Ruler, shut the fuck up, nobody takes you serious nor do they believe a word that you say. But the best part about this is the look on your stupid face when the two talentless girls that are going to amount to nothing are holding those Unified Tag Team Championships because their plan worked to perfection.
Dumb cunt.”
A fired up Pandora just shakes her head, green eyes roll for a moment before she focuses back at the camera, she then takes a second before speaking, as she then turns, and a small smirk crosses her face before she speaks.
“Well, it was pretty obvious that Ruler doesn’t give a fuck about ARIA, he wasn’t bothered by what happened to her, because she is only his best friends girlfriend. Alex, maybe it is time you find better friends, mate. I know that if there is one person that does care about what happened in the Chicago Street Fight, it is Alex Myers, or do you prefer Alexis? I’m going to call you cock-wobble, how about that?
I don’t know what you take, mate. I really don’t but maybe you need to share some of it, because all this is? Rambling. It seems like Alex here is living in the same Mamby Pamby Fantasy world, that NICHOLISM finally reached their goal of becoming the Unified Tag Team Champions, like you fucking flakes did that on your own, love. I must admit though, listening to you two talk makes me laugh a bit, to hear how proud they are of an accomplishment that was practically handed to them, and no words will EVER change that narrative. Matter of fact, if NICHOLISM were to face The Jaded Hearts again, take The British Invasion out of the picture for a moment, those two cunts would be Unified Tag Team Champions again.
Maybe that is not what you want to hear Alex, but its’ the truth, this was all by design. Your team and especially your partner have had a black cloud over your team, it defines itself with an asterisk. And you said it yourself Alex, but your partner, well he thinks a little different, love. How can a team be on opposite ends, so far off from one another, to the point that you have become his little bitch? This needs to be studied, everyone saw it during the whole Minerva/Jack Ripley thing back at Territorial Invasion, and did it help you win? No. Let me ask you something, flower.
Have Halsey Neel and I ever have to had an Electric Chair Match just to work out our differences and get close together? Sounds a bit masochistic and hot to be fair, but have we? No, we are tighter than the noose your partner hung himself from come Grand Rampage,
So, let’s talk credibility for a moment, flower.
Most of your wins have been marred by something that favored you two. I said to “Hunter” and I will say it to you, NICHOLISM is smoke and mirrors, Now look, unlike Ruler, I’m not going to try and bury your talents, love. Alex Myers is a lot more of a household name than Ruler is, quite frankly, you saved his bloody fledgling career, if it wasn’t for you, he would be in the same pile of Former Talents trash like Abel Atami. That’s the problem though Alex, you and him and not even Ying and Yang, you two are Laurel and Hardy, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain. That’s it Alex, you two are opposites attracts and it shows in your matches. When dealt with adversity, he goes low, you try and go high, it doesn’t fucking work. Again, the only reason you two are tag team champions is because KAIZEN were a bunch of wankers and we helped you defeat the greatest tag team of all time. There is something that you don’t get Alex, we are not in the position we are in because of Kennedy Street. We have her backing, sure but she doesn’t wrestle for us, she doesn’t give us any favors, she isn’t setting up challengers and making these matches, that is a bunch of bollocks, and you know it. Halsey had to be a Disney Best Friend just to get attention last season, to get some eyes on her and she did a damn good job of it. I came back thanks to Kennedy Street from my injury, sure I helped her with Ms. Extreme, had a star making performance even in a loss, but the truth is, that only made me better. I have lost ONE singles match since and that was to bloody Minerva, the best women’s wrestler in the fucking planet right now.
Halsey and I were stuck in Devolution, the revolving door that never really found its groove and it is bullshit. That is why we had enough, but you see Alex, if you look through the fog, and actually see what Halsey and I have done, we are the best kept hidden secret in the EAW. We have quietly busted our arses to get to this point, we just decided that when Operation: Doomsday came along, we were going to take full advantage of it. And there it was, the opportunity presented itself, and we took it, made even a BIGGER statement than you two fucks wining the match because the entire company knows NICHOLSIM are paper champions.
You two have this superiority complex right now, that you are so much better than us, we find that rather amusing. On paper, wouldn’t ARIA be better than me too, Alex? We are talking about a former champion, who has defeated some of the biggest stars in the EAW, and has a lot more wins and matches under her belt than me. Same can be said about you and Ruler, the only difference is, Alex Myers name actually has a smidgen of respect behind it, nobody gives a shit about Ruler, he’s just there.
But you asked Halsey why we continue to press the subject of the reason those titles are around the waist of NICHOLISM IS…. YES IS BECAUSE OF THE BRITISH INVASION! You two can ham it up any way you want, mate. Change the narration and spin it in your favor which is only making you look dumber than you two already are Alex. We’ve already proved how many times forces outside of your matches have controlled the outcome, we freely admit when it comes to ours, but this plausible deniability is fucking embarrassing, flower. Alex, you stand there and actually believe that we should be THANKFUL that Halsey and I are getting this tag team title match, what? After the goodness of your own heart?
Fuck you, knob, the truth is, we earned those title shots the second we took out The Jaded Hearts. Let me tell you right now something that is truth, and I really don’t give a fuck if you want to believe it or not. This is supposed to be a Generational reign? No, it is TRANSITIONAL. When are you going to get through your thick skull that we did this to protect the division, to guarantee that it is not held hostage by those two cunts? Listen very closely, if you had to defend those titles against The Jaded Hearts and we were not there?
They would beat you and Ruler.
Those titles would be right back at square one and OUR efforts, that is Halsey and mine would have all been in fucking vain! You don’t see that, understand what we have been trying to do and finally get those two off the division, but if we do not beat you at Grand Rampage, this division is fucked. You’re not the answer….
… you’re the band-aid.
WE are the answer, WE are the ones that will elevate this division, we will be the ones to take it into Season 18 and beyond. WE will forever become the staples of this tag team division. And go ahead, keep bringing up Devolution and it’s failure, Halsey, and I, unlike you and “Hunter” have already admitted to our part in its demise. We can actually admit the truth when faced with it, not like you two fucks.
And Alex, I need for you to understand something very clear. I actually like ARIA. I hate that she hates me, it pisses me off that she blames me for what happened between her and Usagi even if she tried to detract it. But hear every word that I am about to say. What I did in that match was because I wanted her to understand that if she took me out, my little brother would have no one to support him. You keep talking about ending The British Invasion and especially me, but that is where you are wrong.
See, I can’t stand the ground you walk on, flower. The existence of NICHOLISM makes me want to throw up and it was hard to collaborate with Halsey to attack The Jaded Hearts knowing that it would be you two that benefit from it. But this plan was in motion even when KAIZEN were in line to get the shots, we were not going to deter. But in the next few days, I want you to think about this.
I almost ripped half of ARIA’s head off just to see the reaction on your face, and I liked ARIA.
So, imagine what I will do to you for those Unified tag team titles.
This isn’t your world, for if it was? It’s a very tiny place.
But we don’t pay rent, my check would bounce, but don’t worry, my pretty head is going to stay on this hot body hoisting over it the Unified Tag Team Championship.
And then, the plan is complete.
You’re welcome for those 15 seconds of fame, sunshine.
When both of you delusional fucks realize?
This Kitty Has Claws.”
A huge Cheshire grin comes across the face of Pandora Paisley as her green cat like eyes glare into the camera before starting to laugh.
FADE TO BLACK
/REC
